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THE 



OR 

ESSAYS 

ON SOME IMPORTANT SUBJFXTS. 

BY 
A FRIEND TO HIS COUNTRY. 



Incedis per ignes 
Suppositos cineri doloso. — 
Omnia ruunt in pejus. 

Horacj 



NEW-YORK/PRINTED. : • • ' 
SOLD BY DIFFERENT BOOKSELLERS, 

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1816. 



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PREFACE. 

The corruption of the age is a topic of declamation 
among- men, who, by their manners and actions, seem little 
disposed to prevent its progress. It is the subject of the vir- 
tuous a»d religious, who would if possible, impede its conta- 
gion. But it is not only a source of censure for them, but 
also for those who talk piously to veil their artifice and moral 
turpitude. With such, piety is the mask under which they 
obtain their livelihood ; and to a particular and dangerous 
clais of these, I would endeavour to call the public attention. 

From the present ag-e, it is naturally expected, that a re* 
form in the habitg and manners of the nation should begin. 
This, in a great measure, falls upon the parents anb 
instructors of youth, and unless the efforts of both be 
united, the former in encouraging and supporting the attempts 
of the latter, the most conscientious preceptors' attempts 
will but be weak and fruitless. Men of speculation may wish 
well to virtue ; moralists may recommend her by all the graces 
of composition ; ridicule may point her shafts at the reigning 
vices of the age; the legislator may enact and the magistrate 
execute those laws ; but what avail all, if the foundation of 
virtue be not laid in the heart S If the fountain be foul, its 
streams will partake of its nature ; it will poison and pollute 
the most verdant plants which may rise upon its shore. It 
only needs our care, to cherish the reliques of our first inno- 
cence, to ripen them into the fairest and most delicious fruit. 
" Indeed, experience show3 us, that the best education is not 
of itself sufficient to establish the mind in a habitual uniform 
course of integrity ; yet the same experience evinces, that 
nothing is of so much importance towards effecting this great 
end, as to give the mind ah early turn and bias to the right 
side, and that without this all other means, humanly speaking, 
will have but a weak and transient influence." 

The task, which parents by the law of nature, are obliged 
to perform, is eminently important. Under their care, their 
children imbibe notions, which are to be in a great measure 
their guide through life. Although parents imagine, that 
the process of education is hot going on, if their offspring be 



IV PREFACE. 

not under preceptorial care, yet they are egregiously mis- 
taken. Under the paternal roof, it is in full operation. — 
* " Man, regarded as a moral agent, and an accountable be- 
ing", is a compound of habits. According as his habits are 
good or bad, he is to be esteemed or qualified as virtuous or 
vicious. Now it is a matter of common observation, that the 
kabits of an individual are generally formed in consequence of 
the precepts with which he is imbued-^and in a much greater 
degree, in consequence. of the examples which are presented 
for his imitation. Whosoever, therefore, is under the influ- 
ence either of the conduct, or the principles of others (and 
who is not under such influence ?) may be justly said to be so 
fir educated by them to moral good or ill. Much is it to be 
wished, that those who are interested in the welfare of youth, 
would attend to this most serious maxim. It would preserve 
them from many pernicious errours, and would convince them 
of the folly of entertaining unreasonable and inconsistent ex- 
pectations. Such is the homage which vice pays to virtue, that 
many a parent, who is himself by no means scrupulous of vi- 
olating the rules of morality, is startled at the idea of early 
profligacy in his offspring. With a view of promoting the 
mental improvement of his son, he provides for him the most 
conscientious and qualified instructors in various departments 
of knowledge. He spares no expense to promote his progress 
in science. He is anxious to receive what he imagines he is 
entitled to expect as the fruit of his parental attention and 
care. But he is disappointed. The child of his hopes, in- 
stead of a prodigy of learning and of knowledge, is, when 
far advanced, in the season of youth, found to be deplorably 
ignorant, self-willed and untractable. He despises the idea of 
qualifying himself by useful studies, to adorn the station in 
life which his birth and his fortune entitle him to occupy. 
He is given up to frivolity, and having no good qualities, no 
estimable accomplishments to recommend hirn to honourable 
notice, he glories in his vices, and makes a public spectacle 
of his depravity. Shocked and disgusted, #he mortified pa- 
rent vents his feelings in execrations againsy.he indolence 
* licv. Shepherd, Joyce, and Carpenter 



PREFACE. V 

and unfaithfulness of tutors and preceptors, when in reality 
he himself is alone to blame. His manners may have been 
comparatively decent, but he has unfortunately disgraced the 
maxim of the stern satirist, 

Maxima debetur puero reverentia. 
He has thoughtlessly permitted his offspring t@ witness his ir- 
regularities—and by this combination of wickedness and folly, 
he has at an early age, blunted in his child the sense of mor- 
al obligation. In the pursuit of what he deemed allowable 
amusements, he has permitted the heir of his fortune to asso- 
ciate, under little or no restraint, with cunning and profligate 
domestics, who were ever ready to minister to the vices of 
their superiours. Thus has he in fact trained him up in low 
ideas to mean pursuits, and yet, he wonders at his unworthy 
and unbecoming propensities. But his wonder would cease, 
coujd he penetrate the mist which is poured before the men- 
tal eye by the power of self-partiality. Then would he be 
sensible of the capital errour into which he has unconsciously 
fallen ; and however unpleasant the truth might be, he would 
be convinced, that his ideas on the subject of the training of 
youth have been incorrect, and inadequate, and that the mis- 
erable and disgraceful scenes, which he has witnessed with so 
much pain and concern, are' the consequences — the natural 
and necessary consequences of his son's education having 
been conducted more in the orgies of his father's dining- 
room, or in the purlieus of the stable-yard, than in the retire- 
ment of the library, or in the apartment of a morally, qualified 
tutor. In order to form a moral agent to the highest degrees 
ef excellence of which hels capable, the most guarded vigil- 
ance over the propensities of early youth, is requisite on the 
part of natural superintendants— and it seems to be the wise 
ordinance of providence, that the anxiety which parents uni- 
versally entertain for the welfare of their offspring, is calcu- 
lated, when properly directed, to become a strong promoter, 
and a steady safe-guard of virtue." 

Hating seen the consequences which result from the mis- 
conduct of parents in the presence of their children, I will 
here make a few observations upon the consequences whieh 
A 2 



Yl PREFACE. 

follow from placing children under illiterate and immoral pre- 
ceptors — preceptors with whom we engage to be the guardians 
and protectors of the learning and moral conduct of our off- 
spring. That it is a duty enjoined on all, both by the laws 
of God and the voice of society to instruct them well, no one 
guided by reason will pretend to deny. That it is an obliga- 
tion to seek good instructors, without whom this truly great 
blessing cannot be obtained, when they are absent from the 
paternal roof, is a fact to which every man must attest. And 
although this is the case, yet how often do persons violate 
their judgment, and the laws of the Most High? Instead of 
employing men to initiate our youth into an acquaintance 
of general literature, and a knowledge of universal grammar; 
to imbue their minds with religious principles ; or attempt 
to enrich them by an intimate acquaintance with the actions 
and learning of those whose names are registered in the 
record of immortality, we too often, without due exami- 
nation into their characters, engage such as are incapacitated 
to teach, or are only fitted by the whole course of their life, 
to render their heart profligate, by infusing into their minds 
improper notions of life and religion. Thus we shall find our- 
selves imposed upon in the education of our children, and a 
diminution of our purse without any actual advantage, until 
we openly resist every attempt of quackery, ignorance and 
deception. Indeed this requires our most vigilant circum- 
spection. " The province of education opens a wide field for 
the knavery of quacks and chartalans, who make a practice 
of plundering the community. The wretch, who, by his bold 
and interested presumption, puts to hazard the health of the 
body, is a subject of merited detestation and reproach ; bift 
he is still more detestable, who tampers with the health of the 
youthful mind." 

It is too evident, that the preceptorial office, has been and 
is still made a scaffold to wealth and dignities. Young 
men as soon as they have passed the specified number of years 
in College, and who are not circumstanced to defray the ex- 
penses necessarily attendant on the prosecution of any of the 
learned professions, as they are called (alas ! ignorance and de- 
ception too often pass in the professions for wisdom and depth 



PREFACE, VH 

©f judgment) frequently commence teachers, merely to obtain 
such pecuniary aid as to enable them to proceed with honour. 
And here it is worthy of remark, that not one out of a 
thousand, who is a preceptor from necessity, and has a par- 
ticular post of honour in view, bestows the attention which is 
requisite in the art of teaching, as he is too much occupied 
in preparing himself for his intended business. Indeed, we 
have frequently heard these mushroons of a day, these pe- 
dantic knaves, declare, "that they would not be preceptors 
during their life, for the world, because they despised the 
profession ; that none but low persons were to be found en- 
gaged in the business." Indeed, this is too true. There are 
too many of this character in modern days, and the reproach, 
is frequently attached to the office without cause. But why 
was it not so in ancient times ? Teachers of schools then were 
respected, and walked in the most splendid circles, were the 
compeers of princes and kinsfs, and the friends to the human 
race. And why were they tiot* despised and treated with 
scorn and contempt ? It was because the Roman and Grecian 
youth were taught to hold their instructors in a sort of ven- 
eration ; to look upon them as parents; because in those 
days, low, ignorant, and illiberal persons were not permitted 
to undertake the honourable and important task of rearing 
up men, to be philosophers, poets, orators, Generals, Kings, 
and Emperours. And you, mighty well-bred gentlemen, do 
you wish to know why the office of tutor is reckoned a re- 
proach to a man, among our fashionable and gentle folks ? 
The cause is evident. It is such men as you, who render it 
unworthy of notice ,* and lend a weapon to prove your own 
destruction. It is your preposterous kind of knowledge which 
you infuse into young gentlemen, assisted by the declamatory 
precepts of their Socratic fathers and mothers. Hence too 
we see, the coral lip of young dashing females, pouting with 
mockery, when they find an instructor in their honourable com- 
pany ; and their crimson coloured face, when they happen to be 
addressed by one of these unworthy men ; and their injurious 
observations upon him, after he has departed. 

Thus these dignified heroes meet their own reward. They 
pretend to teach much, but do little ; infuse notions of wealth 



Vlh fAEFACE. 

and dignities into youth, to render them contemptible ; de- 
ceive the public by splendid promises of what they may ex- 
pect, and receive for their quackery and impudence, their 
contempt and detestation. With such men at the head of 
our scholastic institutions, is it not natural to suppose, that 
it will lead the true spirit of baseness and infidelity to try its 
deceptions upon the public ? — Thus in a short time, the com- 
munity lose these ivould be gentlemen, and leave the dregs of 
society to initiate our youth into such studies and principles 
as are to render them at a future period, honest and useful 
members of society, or the open violators of the laws of God 
and man. 

Although men who have just escaped from the walls of a 
College should commence the business of teaching, and pay 
considerable attention to it, during the time they are employ- 
ed, yet for some time, the youth committed to their care must 
labour under inexperience in th£ art of instruction, a difficulty 
which will always retard tfteir* progress. No man i3 born a 
teacher. No man therefore is capable of fulfilling the tutorial 
department unless he has had ample experience,and consequent- 
ly, inexperience should never be at the head of a seminary. — 
In a word, I think it would answer an extremely salutary pur- 
pose, were those who engage a person, to require unquestion- 
able testimonials, that he has served a sufficient number of 
years in the academies of those gentlemen, wl*o for their 
talents and moral conduct should receive the applause and 
encomiums of competent judges, who should be appointed by 
the jurisdiction of the various states, to visit our seminaries. 
This it appears to me, would have an excellent effect. Those 
who were incapacitated "to teach the young idea how to shoot," 
from the want of experience, must then practically apply the 
knowledge 1 which they have gained in' College, before they 
could derive from it any material emolument ; while the art- 
ful and illiterate would be wholly prevented from pecuniary 
aggrandizement. Indeed men ought to remain in an impover- 
ished and degraded state, who would grow opulent by defraud- 
ing the community out of their money, and our children out of 
'heir precious time — that time which can never be recalled. 
Tempus prxterntum nunquam revertiUir, Hot. 



PREFACE* IX 

But supposing (that which I have already supposed) that 
those men who have performed their collegiate course of stu- 
dies, been crowned with nominal honours for their common 
place learning,, should make the art of teaching 1 their profess- 
ion, it is too probable, that they would, from their inexpert 
ence in the art, strike out into the same path as their fellow 
teachers, adopting such systems as can never render our youth 
eminent to any great degree in classical or English literature. 
Youth of a noble mould, and desirous of knowledge, would un- 
der their direction be entertained with an antiquated system 
of metaphysical jargon, rules and scraps of the learned lan- 
guages, the whole tendency of which is calculated to ren- 
der their students self-conceited, ostentatious and pedantic. 
Thus instead of teaching our youth a knowledge of the illus* 
trious writings of the Greeks and Romans, of entering into 
their spirit, pointing out their deficiences and beauties, im- 
buing their minds with an admiration of worthy characters, 
and instructing them in the conduct of life, duties for which 
they are not capacitated ; they initiate them into a slight ac- 
quaintance with the laws of Latin and Greek versification, 
verbal criticism, explaining the various readings of different 
editors, as though they were all to become versifiers and 
commentators. 

Admiring the manner in which they have been educated, 
our youth have a sort of veneration for their old mode of tu- 
ition, are caught with this glitter of science, and think that 
to be wonderous deep and learned, which their shallow un=» 
derstandings cannot comprehend. Thus fed upon words in 
stead of things, they think they know every thing, when in 
reality they know nothing, and presumptuously imagine them- 
selves qualified to act an honourable part in life. In this 
state, they enter upon the scene of trial, and to their morth 
fication, find, at too remote a period, that they have been 
fed with the scraps and crusts of science and learning. 

But 1 do not presume to suppose, that every youth is so 
easily caught by this false show of literature. Some by their 
native strength of mind, and the precepts of a few wise 
friends, escape this labyrinth, and get into a smoother tract 3 
« fairer views immediately present themselves, the connex- 



X PREFACE. 

ion between life and learning clearly appears, knowledge of 
a legitimate kind begins to dawn upon them ; the several 
quarters of science display themselves to their sight, and the 
ascent to the seat of the Muses, becomes inviting "^d easy.'' 

We need not expect a salutary change in our instructors 
and system of education, as long as the business is used as 
an auxiliary to the acquirement of a particular profession. 
In such a state, slow indeed must be the advancement of 
science. And should our schools continue as they are 
at present, I am certain, that instead of seeing literature 
flourish, and men of genius produced, every day wilt witness 
our further degradation, but let our youth be once institu- 
ted into the rudiments of a practical, genuine knowledge, 
the field of literature would be cultivated, and rendered use. 
ful to the purposes of life. It will not then excite aston- 
ishment to see them issue from schools, qualified to act with 
honour and lustre at the bar, in the pulpit, or the senate. 

But before this happy change can be effected (as I have 
already observed) instructors of another character, than 
those who at present superintend our offspring must be found. 
It requires men of the first abilities, both moral and literary, 
for this important office. Under the guidance of such mas- 
ters as the ancients had, or many countries, as France, Eng- 
land, Germany, and Italy, we should not be without orators, 
poetsj philosephers and statesmen. In ancient times, teach- 
ers were equally attentive in preparing youth for public ac- 
tion, as for arms and eloquence. " Homer tells us, that Pe- 
leus sent Phenix along with his son Achilles, to the Trojan 
war, to be his tutor both in speaking and acting. Plato 
taught Dion of Syracuse, the ingenious arts, and likewise, 
roused him in defence of his country. Aristotle did not 
only spur his royal pupil to glory and renown, but also guided 
his career, and taught him to speak and to act. So did Ly- 
sis, Epaminondas, the greatest man in Greece. Isocrates 
instructed the warlike and learned Timotheus, son to the 
brave Conon. And Xenophon formed, both by his precepts 
and example, Agesilaus, a prince illustrious for every accom- 
plishment and virtue. Pericles, who excelled both in elo- 
quence and action, in so much, that persuasion was said io 



PREFACE. xi 

dwell upon his lips, and who governed Athens 40 years, was 
trained up under Anaxagoras, a man of universal learning. 
I might offer more instances of the same kind, were it ne- 
cessary. I shall only add, that even those who Were of the 
highest order of Priests, were not only consulted as oracles 
in matters of religion, but were of admirable use to the youth 
by their advice and instructions in civil affairs, and shone 
both in the Senate and Forum, Witness, Publius Crassus, I, 
Coruncanus, Scsevola, and many others. If therefore, such 
were the tutors, no wonder the scholars became so eminent 
in their several capacities and professions. Were our mod- 
ern tutors better qualified than they are, we might expect to 
see a genuine and useful sort of learning more universally 
taught, and our youth formed for an active life, as well as 
one that is purely designed to be contemplative" 

The writer earnestly requests that the public will not con- 
sider the sentiments contained in the volume, as derogatory 
to the American character. Far be it from me to injure her 
reputation \ I am too much of ( an American. If I could not 
speak meritoriously of her, I would not speak at all. I would 
not with the one party praise America if she was undeserving 
of it ; nor with the other endeavour to degrade her in the 
eyes of other nations. For I think it an incumbent duty on 
every man, that in whatever situation his country may be pla- 
ced, he should act with prudence. My reasons are many for 
what I have said, but the preface will not allow room to ex- 
patiate as much upon them as I would wish. — I am no party 
man, but a zealous advocate for all such measures as may 
tend to enhance the glory of America, which she has obtain- 
ed both by arms and literature. As to Statesmen, Generals, 
Xaval Commanders, &c. we can boast of a Washington, a 
Hamilton, a Franklin, a Laurens, a Lawrence, a Burrows, a 
Perry, a McDonough, a Bainbridge, a Hull, a Pike, a Brown, 
a Scott, a Ripley, a MacComb, a Jackson, with many others. 
As to scholars, we cannot indeed vaunt a superiourity over 
Europe at present. But though Europe surpasses us in her cat- 
alogue of learned men, I confidently assert, that there is in exis- 
tence no nation which has made so rapid a progress in the arts 
and sciences as America, since she has become an independent 



Xii PREFACE. 

nation. As to learned and profound men, we have an Ames, 
a Hamilton, a Rittenhouse, a Count Rumford, a Barlow, a 
Dwight, a Trumbull, a Dennie, a Brown, a Jefferson, &c. In 
the art of painting, America stands pre-eminent. She has a 
West, a Vandelyne, a Leslie, a Morse, whose glory, it shall 
be the duty of future historians to record. 

After these observations, I hope that I shall not be charged 
with having written any thing derogatory to the American 
character. I repeat it, that I think our country is a land 
whose inhabitants possess as great and versatile genius, as 
Britain, France, or Germany ; it only needs that something 
be done, to arouse into action the powers of their minds, to 
produce Statesmen, philosophers, orators and poets of the 
greatest excellence. 

After having pointed out, in some degree, the want of a 
proper plan of instruction, &c. the public will naturally ex- 
pect a better from my pen. I shall (if nothing happen) at 
some future period, lay before them a plan of Classical incul- 
cation, together with an English cour&e, which has been too 
much neglected by all writers on the subject of education. 

I would observe, that in the course of the volume, there 
will be found quotations from the most celebrated authors, 
both of ancient and modern times, to substantiate what I have 
said, to whom I have made ample acknowledgments. If I 
have not, it has not been intentionally done. 

The sentiments in this work may appear local, yet they are 
equally applicable to the generality of seminaries in the United 
States. I hope all may profit by the volume, into whose hands 
it may fall. 

Thus having made several observations which did not oc- 
cur to me when writing the following pages, and acquainted 
the reader, in some measure, with the intention and nature of 
the work, I submit it to the public, under a full conviction, 
that they will render perfect justice to the book and its author; 
at the same time hoping that they will pass, without censure, 
any repetition of ideas, which are almost necessarily attendant 
in writing upon subjects closely connected, and suggesting a 
similar train of thought. 



INTRODUCTION. 



vwvv*vwwvwv 



Impressed with the duty which individually and 
collectively we owe to the rising generation, I have 
ventured to lay before the public a few strictures on 
the modes of instruction generally practised in our 
seminaries, by those engaged to superintend our off- 
spring's education, and the fatal consequences which 
will ensue, if the public still persist in patronizing un- 
worthy men, and stand indifferent at the rapid deca- 
dence of youthful morals. Wherever a turn to cal- 
umny and vice exists, a subversion of the moral affec- 
tions follows, and intellectual disease soon takes place, 
diffusing its baneful effects into -every thing sound 
and noble. Unprincipled preceptors are to be rank- 
ed among the greatest curses ; conscientious ones 
amongst the greatest blessings to society. To the 
latter we must, in a great measure, look for a reform 
in our mode of conducting education. If mildness 
and veracity prevail in the conduct of instructors, the 
consequences will be happy and indelible upon the 
minds of our children ; and the man who endeavours 
to destroy these qualities, by weakening the reverence 
due to them, defeats at once the end of moral edu- 
cation, and may be justly driven from that society, 
whose very existence he has endeavoured to destroy, 
by poisoning the fountains by which it is nourished 
and supported. 



XIV INTRODUCTION. 

In pointing out the folly, flattery, and viqps of. ma- 
ny of those engaged in the honourable professibftjof 
instructing youth, of exposing those who frequently ' 
and intentionally ruin the morals of the young (the 
effects of which lead to irreligion, dissipation and mis" 
ery) I deem it expedient, to shield myself from the^; 
imbittered shafts of calumniators, to declare, that I am 
not instigated by motives ol sr>Jeen or personal resent- 
ment.* These essays were^vrkten,iuponj?io Mi ^^te 
motive ; but solely on account of the glaring deceptions 
practised by the generality of instructors, and of par en- 
tal neglect to sound and ivholesonie inculcation. If I 
had been excited by any ignoble principle to. the wri- 
ting of these pages, I would have doomed them to 
the -flames, and let base men uninterrupted prey upon 
the vitals of the public. 

The liberty of the press is the peculiar boast and 
prerogative of the American people. " An honest 
man will therefore be peculiarly careful not to abuse 
this most constitutional organ of public opinion." He 
will not employ it as a vehicle of slander, merely to 
gratify the malevolence of his own disposition, or to 
please a few dissolute individuals, nor will he asperse 
the character of any person, because he can discharge 
his deadly arrows in secret pride and malice, without 
the fear of being arraigned before the tribunal of his 
country. But still, if in the performance of those who 
have undertaken to discharge any important duties, 

* I would wish the reader to understand, that I do not con- 
demn all our teachers. Many of them are men of excellent 
abilities, and their conduct such as justly emitles them to the 
esteem and regard of the public. But of this, see move in 
the notes interspersed throughout the work. 



INTRODUCTION. 



any person perceive abuses or defects, which, if per- 
mitted to proceed Junnoticfed, woukUbe/preductive of 
the most de^eleii^^-coHS'esiiiences^+he, .as w^eitejl e v- 
ery other worthy>.nd ; .Kones't menige%.ofi societjp?is in 
;duty bound tc%put for ( tn *a boia^Hfafray^and stop; the 
growing ev^r^ L i,&&} .: * ■ ' 

v,f^^^^s< Situation of our scholastic ^Irurs, there arises 
an indispensable necessity of rectifying those errours, 
which are so prevalent in our youthful seminaries. 
I .have, therefoife, been stipulated to make such obser- 

^atiojisas^jde^ some measure, con- 

ceive, towards^th|||e^feling of so salutary a purpose. 
My*-'eSbrt ; s > may^b'e*fe*eble ; but they are well meant. 
I am aware, that some of my remarks may at first 
view appear too severe ; but they are not more so 
than the causes, which gave rise to them, justly merit. 
-They are, indeed, designed to be severe, and if this 
be their only fault, I am perfectly willing to undergo 
the fiery ordeal of public criticism. To satirize bad 
teachers, silly parents and guardians, or malicious 
apostates, I consider in the highest degree worthy of 
commendation. It may, indeed, be alledged by some, 
that it is " incompatible if not with the profession, yet 
certainly with the practice of Christianity." " I am 
sure, if that be true, the praise of wit, learning, or 
talents, is nothing worth. If private malignity or per- 
sonal pique be the motive, it is essentially contrary to 
the precepts and practice of this blessed religion, and 
cannot be defended for a moment. But if satire be 
an instrument, and a powerful one too, to maintain and 
enforce public order, morality, religion, literature, and 
good manners, in those cases in which the pulpit and 



X\i INTRODUCTION. 

the courts of law can seldom interfere, and rarely with 
effect ; the community may authorize and' approve of 
it. <•'• The authorized instruments of lawful warfare 
are lawful." 

I am perfectly sensible of the numerous disadvanta- 
ges under which I labour, in combating the received 
opinions in predilection of men, who have elevated 
themselves by low and mean artifice, to the noble, but 
slighted occupation of teaching. I cannot speak of 
them without censuring them. I shall be assailed by 
ignorance and envy on the one hand, and interested 
views on the other. I shall be carped at by teachers, 
particularly by those who are desirous of the emolument 
arising from the profession. The warm approbation 
of their patrons will be an almost insuperable bar- 
rier to the execution of any person's intention, how- 
ever laudable or praise-worthy, and cannot fail of ex- 
citing a zealous resentment against the man whom 
they suppose the innovator, and who dares to expose 
them to merited scorn and contempt. 

Many of those preceptorial parasites who are en- 
joying all the sensual pleasures of life, unadorned by 
those elevated virtues, which should characterise the 
fraternity, and which are essentially requisite for those, 
who arrogate to themselves the important province of 
rearing immortal souls, for " scenes of never-fading 
bliss," have exalted themselves to that eminence, by 
uttering the most audacious calumnies under the ap- 
pearance oi" the greatest sincerity. They have found 
by frequent repetitions of these monstrous enormities, 
which demand public chastisement, that they could 
procure the testimonials of great approbation, from 



INTRODUCTION, XVll 

many of those, who are incapable of discerning their 
quackery, their ignorance, and their knavery. The 
ignorant and simple (for such alone can be imposed 
upon) have lent their voluntary eulogies to those pet- 
ty declaimers, and thus prejudices have been formed 
against the more honourable and respegtable 
class of instructors, which will require great ef- 
forts, before they can be lessened or eradicated. 

That a good education is the source of all virtue, 
is an unquestionable fact, and it behooves every 
faithful professor of religion, and every friend to lite- 
rature, to crush, if possible, tutorial depravity, and 
whimsical modes of instruction, and to establish, in 
their stead, such as may be most likely to produce 
something valuable, and which may recompense them 
for their great care and unwearied diligence. Let 
them inquire into the characters of those men who 
are desirous of becoming instructors of youth, and 
examine, whether they be free from the errours and 
prejudices naturally arising from an uncultivated mind. 
Nor is this all. Merely their being skilled in the 
Latin, Greek, or French languages, and their posses- 
sing a general knowledge of the arts and sciences, 
should not persuade persons to entrust their chil- 
dren to them. They should have, in addition to this 
theoretical lumber, something more to recommend 
them ; they should be virtuous, prudent, mild, and 
scrupulous ; they should themselves set the best ex- 
amples, and endeavour, by every means in their power, 
to induce their pupils to follow them. In a word, let 
the votaries of morality and religion establish their 
schools on such a foundation, that while, on the one 

B a. 



XV111 INTRODUCTION. 

hand, the usual and most necessary branches of edu- 
cation are carefully and Skilfully taught, on the other, 
religion should be instilled into the juvenile mind, with 
all that ardour and assiduity, which the extreme im- 
portance of the subject requires, viz. the temporal and 
eternal happiness of those committed to their care. 
This would be a system which, when brought into op- 
eration, could not be destroyed or even affected, by 
the slander or glaring quackery, so frequently exhibit- 
ed to the public, through the medium of newspapers 
and circulars, by immoral and roving teachers. 

The effects of low and illiterate preceptors are most 
severely felt in this city. The minds of their pupils 
left unexercised, are open to all the vices prevalent 
among the most worthless part of the community. 
The children have nothing to do, <; but to run in the 
street" upon the dismission of school. In the morn- 
ing they return, to louftge out their time in indolence 
and ignorance. Hence is the contempt in which our 
schools are held. Children make no improvement. 
The fault indeed lies partly on the child's side, but 
more on the parents', who are so thoughtless as to 
commit their children to the care of illiterate and dar- 
ing impostors. How can it then be expected, that the 
learned part of the community should approbate our 
common seminaries, when it is no longer an honour to 
be at the head of a school, but a little profit ? 
That such miserable wretches are poorly recompen- 
sed, ought, by no means, to excite astonishment. 
The fact is, that they do not even deserve their dayly 
bread. — Men are seldom found possessed of all the 
requisites necessary for conducting an academy who 



• 



INTRODUCTION. XIX 

- will descend to the business of teaching, unless com- 
pelled by necessity ; and this may be assigned as the 
reason, why so few of our citizens rise to eminence in 
the republic of letters, or in the management of our 
public affairs. That this is now the case, admits of 
no doubt ; the world has already complained of our 
remissness in scholastic affaire. It is indeed true, 
that many of our countrymen have reached the 
highest pinnacle of literary fame. This, however, 
was not owing to any knowledge which they obtain- 
ed in our common schools, but under the blessing 
of Divine Providence, to their own incessant indus- 
try and application, wholly independent of local ad- 
vantages. It is to the wretched state of our places 
of learning, that the practice of late years, of sending 
our youth to other countries for their education, is to 
be attributed.* — There is a national evil ensuing from 
this, viz. that it tends to alienate the affections of 
youth from their native country, and rivet them to that 
wherein they have been educated. This has been too 
long the case, and instead of endeavouring to remove 
the defects and prejudices, which force our offspring 
to distant shores for illuminating their minds, we still 
seem to be adding a greater spur. Why do we not 
endeavour to equal or surpass foreign seminaries of 
learning, to distinguish our literary institutions as the 
nurseries of tiberty, literature and religion, and instead 

* I am, however, extremely well pleased to notice, that for 
a few years past, New- York can boast of better Classical and 
English schools, than any other city in the United States, and 
that the practice of sendiag our youth to England, France, &c. 
is growing into disrepute. — May it continue, till no foreign 
country can claim the honour of educating" Americans, 



XK INTRODUCTION, 

of intrusting our children to the?n, let them be obliged 
to send theirs to us ? But as we have been crawling 
along in one old beaten path for many years, it ap- 
pears almost impossible to extricate ourselves from 
this labyrinth of perplexity and endless errour. 

When I see the scholastic institutions of other coun- 
tries flourishing in full vigour, I frequently propose the 
question to myself, what can be the cause of the low 
state of American institutions ? The intellectual pow- 
ers of Europeans are not superiour to ours ; their cli- 
mate is no better ; their food is not more nourishing. I 
ask it, and at the same time, behold our places of learn- 
ing sinking into insignificance, the cause is obvious. 
It arises, in a great measure, from the inadequate in- 
struction in our schools, and from fiarents forcing 
their children into the way of making their fortunes. 
This is too much the case with the inhabitants of 
America, and as many of these money-makers are 
ignorant themselves, they cannot consequently see the 
invnluable use and delights of learning, and would, if 
possible, envelope others in this profundity of mental 
darkness. Jf, however, youth should, by the skill and 
art of the teacher, once imbibe the desire of knowl- 
edge, and feel a thirst for literary fame, the folly of 
parents would soon stand conspicuous ; the sparks of 
ambition kindled at school, would soon break out into 
a general conflagration, which nothing could resist. 
Emulation, the incentive to great exertions, would 
become predominant. A virtuous ambition being- 
kindled among the Greeks, they carried every thing 
to the greatest perfection. The trophies of Miltiades 
disturbed the nightly slumbers of Themistocles, and' 



INTROBUCTIOK. XXI 

the eulogies bestowed upon Herodotus at the Olym- 
pic Games, stimulated Thueydides to compose his 
immortal work. If this emulation had not been ex- 
cited, Greece nor Rome could not have boasted 
of the many illustrious characters and splendid 
achievements, which are recorded on the page of 
history. The fire and enthusiasm of genius are 
not confined to any individual nation ; but are to be 
found, more or less, in every quarter ©f the world. 
It seems, indeed, to slumber in the frozen regions 
of Iceland and Greenland, and to be bound by the 
chains of gothic barbarity and superstition, among 
those nations once famous for the song of the Muse, 
the soundness of philosophy, and military ardour and 
courage. Turkey and Africa bear record of these as- 
sertions, and their names are almost blotted out from 
the historic page. Their ambition being extinguished, 
they are incapable of any illustrious exploit, and are 
only mentioned with scorn and contempt, as being the 
degenerate descendants of men more learned and civ- 
ilized than any of the Eastern hemisphere. Thus it 
happens to all nations until emulation is excited among 
them ; that they appear destitute of any great eleva* 
tion of mind ; and upon its decay, the mind languish-- 
ing for a spur to its exertions, sinks into inactivity and 
moulders into insignificancy. Various causes, indeed, 
may tend to its decadence. Commerce pouring in her 
luxuries from abroad, enervates and effeminates the in- 
tellectual powers, and hastens the extinction of that vhir 
tuous ambition which tends to the public good. Thus 
it was with Rome. Enlightened and brave as her in- 
habitants were, great and profound as were her philos- 



XX11 INTRODUCTION. 



©phers and statesmen, they could not save her from 
falling a sacrifice to the luxury, which followed upon 
the taking of Carthage. From this period, the fate of 
Rome was fixed ; she fell, and the honours acquired 
before this period remain only to show the greatness 
of her past glory. Thus we see, that unless some re- 
wards be held forth, worthy of attainment, and an em- 
ulation be kindled, a nation, however rich or learned, 
will fall a sacrifice to the restless spirit of her. r citizens. 
Nursed in the cradle of sloth and idleness, and pam- 
pered by luxury, a way is opened for more manly na- 
tions to usurp the liberties of their country, and con- 
vert them from the slaves of sensual gratifications, into 
the slaves of oppression and despotism. 
" To the malign and flimsy criticisms of hireling 
scribblers, tea-table talkers, grog-shop philosophers, or 
depraved instructors, I have nothing to say ; but, that 
they will probably be as worthy of my notice, as the 
places or the characters which gave them birth. If 
they will talk, let them. Perhaps they cannot con- 
verse upon any thing of more value to themselves, and 
to the community, than upon the right education of 
youth. I have nothing to advance in defence of my 
essays, but that I believe the sentiments to be correct. 
With them I have lived : with them I think it probable 
I shall die. A complete reformation in many of our 
teachers' characters who have abilities, and a total re- 
jection of those who want either, will be the only means 
of effecting a change in my mind. 

Secret and causeless enemies, I can neither oppose 
Bor convict ; but must leave them to that punishment 
wkich the cankering- worm of a guilty conscience nev- 



INTRODUCTION. XX1H. 

er. fails to inflict, a wbund-fwhich time cannot assuage, 
which art cannot cicatrize. 

Veritas odium pant. 
Truth produces hatred. 

It may be deemed necessary that I should make an 
apology for- my frequent use of classical quotations. 
The placing of two or three Latin or Greek mottoes 
to some of them, may appear pedantic and ostenta- 
tious, while they may be thought unnecessary. I can- 
not advance much for their necessity ; but have only 
to remark, that the best writers of the English lan- 
guage, Johnson, Addison, Steel, Pope, Knox, and ma- 
ny others, abound with classical quotations. I will, 
however, add a few more words from Mr. Matthias, 
the reputed author of the " Pursuits of literature,"— 
" I would say a few words (says he) on another part of 
my work. I have been under the necessity, as at least 
I thought, of appealing for illustration to writers of all 
ages and various languages. There is an appearance 
of ostentation in it, to which I must submit. I am 
certainly of opinion with Casaubon, that it cannot be 
supposed, " facere aliquid ad veram pietatem sen doc- 
trinam Grasca potius quam alia lingua loqui."* Cer- 
tainly not. But to enforce and to illustrate any posi- 
tion, the language of the poets, and the dignity and 
spirit of ancient eloquence and history, in the ori- 
ginal words, are of no mean assistance. But I have 
generally given in English, the substance of the allu- 

* (It cannot be supposed) that speaking or writing- in the 
Greek Language* in preference to any other, can have any 
particular efficacy in promoting the interests of true piety or 
learning-. Casaub. Exercit. 16, ad Annul. Eetl Barsnii. 



XXI? INTRODUCTION. 

sions contained in the learned languages, which arc 
brought forward " 

The essay addressed to Mentius, &c. is in appear- 
ance severe. It never would have been written, had 
there not been ample cause. Retaliation is sometimes 
laudable, as appears from the writings of that celebra- 
ted philosopher and Christian, Dr. Witherspoon. " I 
do not deny (says he) that there are sometimes good 
reasons for making use of satire and ridicule, in con- 
troversies of the political kind, and sometimes it is 
necessary in self defence. If any writer in behalf of 
a party attempts to expose his adversaries to public 
scorn, he ought not to be surprised, if the measure he 
metes to others is measured out to him again, What is 
unlawful in the aggressor, becomes justifiable in the 
defender," I shall not, therefore, under such sanction 
as his, consider myself, in the least, reprehensible in 
retorting the abusive language with which myself and 
©thers have been assailed ; but on the contrary deem 
ail my efforts laudable, in supporting my own charac- 
ter, and that of those whom he has so injuriously as- 
sailed : for I hold this to be a doctrine, in which I 
shall be joined by all good men, that character is, of 
all things, an article worthy of protection. 

Having made such observations in the Introduction 
as I thought proper, I submit my labours to the public. 
If they are worthy of patronage, I am contented ; if 
not, let them perish amongst other volumes, far supe- 
rlour to this in matter and in stvle. 



THE 

REFORMER. 

WWWWXiVWVW 

CHAPTER I. 

REMARKS ON EDUCATION, PARENTS, INSTRUC- 
TORS, &c* 

No?— ~ 
cm K'MgiQ ugicrro?. 

" This is the season for the right understanding of the 
subject which is before us." Pind. Olymp. O. 13. 

Xlwyii koli p/f<* KAXoxxyxd-ixs, To vc/uif/.* Tv^iiy 7r&ifo)&$ t — 

" A good education is the source and foundation of all 
virtue." Plutarch. 

" If the business of education were more thoroughly and 
more generally understood, it would be less necessary for in- 
dividuals, when they arrive at maturity, to form plans of im- 
provement for themselves." 

Stuart's Philosophy of the Mind, 

To ascertain the truth and solidity of a received 
maxim, or mathematical proposition, it is necessary 
that we descend to the causes and circumstances 
which led to the conclusion, and the avidity with 
which men have received and propagated it as or- 

* This essay being much longer than any of the others, I 
have deemed it proper to divide it into different chapters ; 
the connection between each chapter being 1 properly pre- 
served. 

c 



26 BEFORMER. 

thodox. If systems and conclusions had been received 
and not examined, the world to this day had not been 
illuminated with correct knowledge ; but that mentaj 
darkness which characterized ages, would have con- 
tinued to produce the cruelties of superstition, and the 
wild conceits of fanaticism. Had not Copernicus re-ex- 
amined the Pythagorean theory of the universe, what 
would have been the present state of astronomy ? Had 
not Newton, Bacon and other successors, explored the 
depths of philosophy and the arcana of nature", antf 
thoroughly investigated the discoveries of Archimedes 
and Euclid, they could not have proceeded with so much 
certainty in those sciences which have exalted their 
names to the highest eminence. Rut by minutely ex- 
amining every thing for themselves, they have been 
able to solve difficulties which before their times were 
deemed insurmountable, to shew to what excellence, 
greatness and correctness the human mind may soar, 
when it investigates for itself on the principles of sound 
reason and candour, rejecting the inconsistent hypothe- 
ses of those who have involved literature and science 
in endless perplexity and errour. But those luminaries 
in religion and sound philosophy soon excited a host of 
inveterate enemies against them ; and the history of 
succeeding ages sufficiently shews, that, when a man 
has, by the unbiassed use of his reason, demonstrated 
to his own satisfaction the existence of some inveterate 
errour in any particular science, art or profession, and 
deems it his duty to communicate his proposed reme- 
dy or improvement to the world, he may rest assured, 
that he will forthwith be assailed on all sides by the 
clamours of men, who, instigated by interest or some 



'.REFORMER. 27 

other base motive, will study by every means in their 
power, to thwart him in his laudable designs, and who 
will use their utmost efforts to throw the intended re- 
former and his scheme of reformation into contempt 
and ridicule. A man, however, who is actuated by a 
sincere desire to promote the public good, will not be 
'deterred from the prosecution of his project by such 
*» bugbears" He will modestly, but yet firmly^ lay 
his opinion before his fellow citizens, together with 
the reasons which induced him to adopt them, and al- 
low the public to judge for themselves. 

From these few preliminary observations, we see 
that to proper and candid examinations, expressed in 
sentiments which eairy along with them the clearest 
conviction of certain projectors or reformers having 
deserved applause or censure ; it may justly be said to 
have led us to the solid information of those subjects, 
which, previous to strict and candid criticism and ex- 
amination, rested in obscurity. Old and absurd sys- 
tems by their means have been eradicated, new and 
approved ones have been substituted, which, in despite 
of ridicule and asperity, attract the encomium and ad- 
miration of the world. 

Fully convinced of the obstacles which obstruct the 
intentions of any writer however laudable, provided re- 
formation be his object, I enter upon the present ob- 
servations with fear and trembling. Individual exer- 
tion in education can do little, and though it fail of ac- 
complishing its object, it may be a stimulus to others 
to expose defects, which, if continued, will be pro- 
ductive of innumerable errours both in science and re- 
ligion. Even failure in theoretical matters frequent!/ 



28 REFORMER. 

meets the reward of good intention ; but in practical 
eulogium not short of adoration is bestowed upon him, 
who has been happy enough to bring those things into 
practice, which had formerly appeared plausible in 
theory ; but which, from a combination of difficulties, 
it had been thought, would be for ever impossible to 
put into execution. The first attempt seldom proves 
successful, but some, by perseverance and by repeated 
trials, have finally executed what their predecessors 
left unfinished. Thus, Dryden and Milton improved 
upon antecedent poets, and Goldsmith and Pope have 
polished our language with respect to poetical num- 
bers to such a degree, as to supersede even the idea 
of adding beauty to the metrical song of the muse — 
Assisted by the labours of those who have gone before 
them, Edge worth, Moore, Knox, Milton and Rosseau 
have composed the most valuable and splendid trea- 
tises that have adorned any language since the days of 
Quintillian and Cicero. With their success in view, 
and the clamour and opposition raised against Dr. 
Knox and his commendable reformation in classical 
literature, I attempt to lay before the public observations 
on education, and parents, and upon those preceptors, 
who, regardless of the highly responsible trust reposed 
in them, have violated the most essential duties of so- 
cial life, and abused the confidence with which the 
community have thought proper to entrust them. 

Whoever have been duly impressed w£th the va- 
rious duties which we owe individually and collective- 
ly to our country, have long been desirous not only of 
seeing a reform in the modes of education practised 
by many of our preceptors, but likewise a more par- 



REFORMER. 2f 

ticular one in the characters of those who are chosen 
the guardians of this great and, if properly conducted, 
truly invaluable national blessing. In offering this last 
observation, I mean not to detract from the learning, 
morality and religion of several of our instructors. — 
But it reflects much inattention, if not dishonour, upon 
the public, that they have patronized men* who as 
Cicero observes, cum maxime fallunt^ dant ofieram ut 
viri boni videantur. Until we examine the moral as 
well as the literary character of those, who superin- 
tend our seminaries, persons of the most slender pre- 
tensions to probity and talents will impose their wick- 
edness and folly upon us, as the unerring dictates of 
Christianity and wisdom. 

When it is universally allowed, that youth cannot 
well be expected to improve in useful knowledge, ex- 
cept under the guidance of men of learning and reli- 
gion, it is certain that no radical reform can be ex- 
pected to take place in our system of education, till 
teachers can be found in whom both of these are 
united. But when gentlemen possessed of these, qual- 
ifications shall be at the head of our juvenile semina- 
ries, what a happy change will then take place ! Such 
preceptors, like the real ministers of Christ, will take 
delight in rearing the infant plant, expanding the bud 
of genius, and inculcating upon the pliant mind of the 
youth committed to their care, the objects of their du- 
ty, the deity, their fellow-creatures and themselves. 

Their duty done, they seek no worldly store, 

Their conscience pays them, and they ask no more.. 

C 3 



30 REFORMER. 

Thrice happy they, o'er whom they thus preside, 
Reclaim from errour, and to virtue guide ; 
Who taug-ht by them, their industry employ, 
And in the public good their own enjoy. 

Vaniere, 14th book of his Pr<edhtm Rusticum, 
translated by Arthur Murphy. 

Marcus, Aurelius Antoninus, in whom shone forth 
the virtues of the christian and the talents of the states- 
man and philosopher, thanked the gods for having 
found good instructors for himself and also for his 
children. In him and in many other celebrated Ro- 
mans, we see the effects of a solid plan of education 
and of moral tutors. Men were then patronized ac- 
cording to their deserts ; the depraved were indig- 
nantly rejected ; the good employed in transacting the 
most honourable business. In a word, in the pure and 
flourishing ages of the Roman Republic, parents and 
guardians were conscious, that the tree would incline 
as the tender twig was bent. They Saw that the hab- 
its and manners of childhood invariably became the 
habits and manners of advanced life, and were, there- 
fore, assiduous in impressing the importance of moral 
rectitude on the infant mind. Well informed parents 
were then scrupulously attentive to their offspring, 
and would not, like many of the present age, wholly 
abandon them to the care of immoral preceptors, low 
nurses, or the tawny descendants of Africa. And in- 
deed, such was the vigilance of the officers of gov- 
ernment in several of. the ancient countries, that fear- 
ing lest parental fondness might indulge their children 
in luxury tending to effeminancy, and incompatible 
-\vjkth the abstinence and firmness of manly virtue, they 



REFORMER, 3| 

*ften removed the children from the parents, and pla- 
ced them under the most rigid tutor for instruction.— 
Hence from this incessant care of inuring their youth 
to application, study and privations of many kinds* 
to which they must necessarily be compelled to sub- 
mit when they should arrive at the years of manhood 
and even before that period, Sparta could boast of a 
Leonidas, Persia of a Gyrus, and Rome of philoso- 
phers, statesmen, heroes and poets, for whose equals 
latter ages search in vain. By this means, therefore, 
Rome became a polished nation, and the emporium of 
literature and science ; she rose to the highest emi- 
nence, and though relaxed in rigorous modes of exer- 
cise and education, in after times, and degraded by 
crimes and vices, which bear ample record of her de- 
generacy, she continues, to this day, to be the theme o£ 
literary disquisition, and the admiration of the world. 

Hence we see, that education and good instructors 
tend to civilize and polish those countries to which 
they extend their beneficial influence. The examples 
of past nations point out to us the benefits resulting 
from a substantial plan of instruction, when properly 
carried into execution, in correcting the manners, re- 
fining the temper, and moralizing society in genera!*, 
and justifies the assertion, that it is the grounoj work 
on which) may be raised a superstructure* well pro- 
portioned, beautiful and lasting. 

That literature and science, as they are the basis on 
which the refined policy and management in the affairs 
of theology and government depend, are essentially 
necessary to the stability of nations, is a fact which 
cannot be contradicted ; and \t is n® less certain*, that 



52 REFORMER. 

persons, unless endowed with superiour natural pow- 
ers, assisted by the observations of illumined and pro- 
found minds, are incapable of perpetuating this incal- 
culable blessing to human woes. But the exertion of 
men of splendid talents is not the only thing necessa- 
ry for carrying into effect a correct system of educa- 
tion. There are other prerequisites which are of still 
greater importance. Teachers should not only be dis- 
tinguished for their literary abilities, but should also 
be exemplary for their perseverance, diligence, and 
zeal, for the purity and irreproachability of their morals* 
They should be men, who would not think it beneath 
their dignity to submit to the arduous task of " teach- 
ing the young idea how to shoot," and who would 
consider it as a most useful, nay as a sacred part of 
their duty, to endeavour by every means- in their pow- 
er, to instil into the flexible mind of the youth commit- 
ted to their care, the unerring principles of our most 
holy religion. Were pupils instructed in this manner 
in their youth, it is believed, that, by the divine bles- 
sing, they would be able in their riper years, to defend 
themselves against the contaminating conversation of 
persons destitute of principle, to detest and abhor the 
fiend-like disposition of the slander er, to keep at a 
distance from all wicked and designing men, to live in 
due obedience and subordination to the laws of their 
country, to endeavour to render themselves useful and 
worthy members of society, to bridle the tongue, which 
is frequently found to be the cause of much mischief, 
and lastly to subdue all malevolent and unruly pas- 
sions. 
A sound and rational plan of education, conducted 



RzroRMzp* 33 

agreeably to the principles which we have acquired by 
experience, is the sole foundation on which the happi- 
ness or misery of an individual as well as of a nation, 
in a great measure depends. This is an incontroverti- 
ble fact, and if it were duly considered, scientific and 
patriotic men would pay more attention to our scholas- 
tic establishments and the cause of literature through* 
out our country, than they do at present. 

In our early years, nothing strikes our ear without 
effect. Nulla ad aures nostras vox imfiune fierjertur.* 
Hence it follows, that the impressions with which our 
minds are stamped in the dim dawn of our existence^ 
should be of a salutary nature, as they adhere to us, in 
the future tenour of our lives, and are productive of 
actions of a corresponding and similar nature. Indeed 
we may rationally infer, that the priviliges which con- 
stitute our happiness, have their origin in them alto- 
gether. But where are those impressions to be re- 
ceived ; to whom are we to look for them ? Undoubt- 
edly to parents and instructors, who ought, in reality s 
to perform a parental duty, in restraining and correct-* 
ing the foibles and vices of the young. Ever since 
our fall, we can discern that the heart of man is un« 
happily disposed to deeds of evil. This natural pro* 
pensity will always operate diametrically opposite to 
the few good inclinations which are found in children, 
unless the united efforts of parents and literary guar- 
dians be exerted to " encourage and confirm those 
faint, but precious reliques of our first innocence, and 
pluck with indefatigable care the thistles and briars 
which are continually shooting up in so bad a soil."' 
* Seneca's Epistles, G. 4. 



34 REFORMER. 

Though this be a well received truth, it is to be la- I 
merited, that few of the multitude of parents are- suffi- 
ciently circumspect in regard to what they say or do 
in the presence of their offspring ; nor do they give 
themselves any concern about the character of the per- 
son to whom they may entrust their superintendance, 
regardless whether false or true notions be instilled I 
into their pliant minds. '• Nil dictu, says Juvenal, I 
f&dum visuque /uee limina tangat, intra quce ftuer est" 
which were guardians duly to observe, they would not ! 
be obliged in their declining age to turn with sorrow I 
to the past, and lament the miserable examples which 
they set, or caused to be set, before their children. — 
Maxima debetur fiueris reverenlia.* 

If these impressions be of a polluting kind, we may 
hope in vain to see the deluded victims approaching 
the state of manhood under the hallowed auspices of 
religion and knowledge. 

" In vain, 
Without fair culture's kind parental aid, 
Without enliv'ning suns and genial show'rs, 
And shelter from the blast — in vain we hope 
The tender plant can rear its blooming- head, 
Or yield the harvest promis'd in the spring." 

* ikensiile. 

If on the contrary, their minds be deeply impressed' 
With the sublime doctrines contained in the sacred ! 
scriptures, and with the reflections and admonitions 
with which the pages of many of cur wisest and best 

* Which may be translated thus : " The greatest circum- 
spection is necessary in our intercourse with children." 

Juvenal. 



REFORMED 3J 

writers every where abound: and if they have been 
made duly acquainted with the parts which each has 
to sustain in this grand and variegated scene of life, we 
shall see jtliem, as it were, approach the temple of vir- 
tue in glorious array, and when they shall have attain- 
ed the age of manhood, they will be prepared to per- 
form^ with honour, the several duties of patriot, parent 
and friend. This is the situation of the virtuous in 
this world ; but when they shall be called upon to leave 
it, a state infinitely more happy and glorious is pre- 
pared for them. They will then be received into the 
mansions of everlasting bliss, the abode of " the souls 
of just .men made perfect." There they will be crown- 
ed with a wreath of immortality, and placed far be- 
yond the envious blast of calumny, or any of those 
corroding cares and vexations which in this imperfect 
state, too often annoy even some of the best of men.— 
There no turmoil, nor bustle about honours or distinc- 
tions, nor indeed, about any other concerns can inter- 
rupt their unadulterated happiness. They have taken 
up their eternal residence in the kingdom of their 
heavenly father, in which, joy inconceivable and full of 
glory for ever reigns, and there they will continue, 
through all the ages of eternity, admiring the marvel- 
lous plan of redeeming love, and adoring the great- 
ness, goodness and wisdom of Jehovah. 

CHAPTER II. 

As it is not my intention to write a general treatise 
upon education, it is sufficient to remark, that the im- 
provement of the intellectual and moral powers, has 
been considered as a point of the greatest moment in 



36 REFORMER. 

every civilized age and nation. But that we may form 
a more just estimation of the advantages which may 
be derived from the training up of youth in the knowl- 
edge of the Languages, the Arts, History, Rhetoric, 
Philosophy, and such other sciences as are most con- 
ducive to improve them in religion and learning, to 
eternize their memory, to render the basis of their na- 
tion strong and permanent, and lastly, to confirm the 
correctness of all the preceding observations ; there is 
nothing more necessary than to take a view of the dif- 
ference which learning makes, not only between indi- 
viduals, but nations. 

" The Athenians (says Mr. Rollin) possessed but a 
small territory in Greece ; but of how large an extent 
was their reputation ? By carrying the sciences to per- 
fection, they completed their own glory. The same 
school sent abroad excellent men of all kinds, great 
orators, famous commanders, wise legislators, and able 
politicians. This fruitful source diffused the like ad^ 
vantages over all the politer arts, though seemingly 
independent of it ; such as Music, Painting, Sculpture, 
and Architecture. It was here they received their 
improvement, their grandeur, their perfection ; and, 
as if they had been derived from the same root, and 
nourished by the same sap, they flourished at the same 
time." 

" Rome, which had made herself mistress of the 
world by her victories, became the subject of its won- 
der and imitation, by the excellent performances she 
produced in almost all kinds of arts and sciences, and 
thereby gained a new kind of superiority over the peo- 
ple she had subjected to her yoke, which was far 



REFORMER, 37 

more pleasing, than what had been obtained by arms 
and conquests." ^ 

" Africa, which was once so procjpctive of great and 
learned men, through the neglect of literature, h 
grown absolutely unfruitful, and even fallen into that 
barbarity of which it bears the name, without having 
produced one single person in the course of so many 
ages who has distinguished himself, calling to mind 
the merit of his ancestors, or caused it to be remem- 
bered by others. Egypt in particular, deserves this 
character, which has been considered as the source 
whence all the sciences have flowed. 5 ' 

a The reverse has happened among the people of 
the West and North. They were long looked on as 
rude and barbarous nations, as having discovered no 
taste for works of ingenuity and wit. But as scon as 
learning took place, they sent abroad considerable 
proficients in all kinds of literature, and of every pro- 
fession, who in point of solidity, understanding, depth, 
and sublimity, have equalled whatever other nations 
have at other times produced." 

" We daily observe, that in proportion as the sci- 
ences make their progress in countries, they transform 
the inhabitants into new creatures ; by inspiring them 
with gentler inclinations and manners, and supplying 
them with better forms of administration, and more 
humane laws, they raise them- from the obscurity 
wherein they had languished before, and engage them 
to throw off their natural roughness. Thus they prove 
evidently, that the minds of men are very nearly the 
same in all parts of the world ; that all honourable 
distinction in regard to them, is owing to the sciences, 
D 



33 REFORMER. 

and that according as these are cultivated or neglect- 
ed, nations rise or £dl, emerge out of darkness, or 
sink again into it, ^nd that their fate in a manner de- 
pends upon them.* 

" But without recourse to history, let us only cast 
our eyes upon what ordinarily passes in nature. From 
thence we may learn what an infinite difference culti- 
vation will make between two pieces of ground, which 
are otherwise very much alike. The one, if left to 
itself, remains rough, wild, and over-run with weeds 
and thorns. The other, laden with all sorts of grain 
and fruits, and set off with an agreeable variety of 
Sowers, collects into a narrow compass whatever is 
most rare, wholesome, or delightful, and by the tiller's 
care becomes a pleasing epitome of all the beauties of 
different seasons and regions. Thus it is with the 
mind, which always repays us with usury for the care 
we take to cultivate it. This is the soil which every 
man who knows how nobly he is descended, and for 
what great ends 'designed, is obliged to manage to ad- 
vantage ; a soil that is rich and fruitful, capable of im- 
mortal productions, and alone worthy of all its care." 
Nihil est feracius inge?iiis, Us /irasertim qua discifili- 
nis exculta sunt.* 

Manifest, therefore, are the concomitant blessings 
of a solid and virtuous education ; hence it is no won- 
der that those parents who have the good of their 
children at heart, seek the best seminaries, and the 
most scrupulous instructors, who will dare to execute 
their duly in despite of the calumny of the multitude, 

* Nothing is more fruitful than the human g-enius, espe- 
cially when cultivated by learning. Ci cent's Ovations. 



REFORMER. 3Q 

the ingratitude which they receive, and the abuse and 
contumely to which they are liable from students, who 
should reverence and obey them as fathers. 

* To form the understandings of the hopes of fu- 
turity, to instil into their pliant minds such principles 
and sentiments as may make them appear for what 
they were intended, to habituate them to such a man- 
ner of thinking and discriminating, as is consonant to 
truth, is a work of the greatest importance to the 
world ; for the inculcation of impure morals, not only 
involves in destruction and misery the present age, but 
will also prove the most irrefragibie barrier to the feli- 
city of thousands, who at present slumber in the em- 
bryo of futurity. 

What an awful responsibility then rests with in- 
structors and parents ! A responsibility productive of 
the most eventful consequences, as on them depends 
the future tenour of their lives, whose care it should 
have been to have stored their minds with such pre- 
cepts and instruction, as would teach them to avoid 
those snares which life so frequently presents. 

" What is this world ! thy school, O misery ? 
Our only lesson is to learn to suffer, 
And he who knows not that, is born for nothing'." 

Young 

* Nee enim is solus reipublicce protlest qui de pace beilo- 
que censet, &c. sed qui juventutem exhortatur, qui 
virtute instruit amnios, in privato publicum necotium 
agit. Seneca. 

" Nor does he only serve his country who gives his opin- 
ion on war and peace, &c. but he who exhorts youth, 
who furnishes their minds with virtuous principles, wh© 
transacts public business in private." 



40 REFORMER. 

Infatuated, indeed, must that parent be who will 
not attend to the education of his lovely offspring, nor 
inquire to whom he is about to entrust u his soul's far 
dearer part," and vile indeed, must that man be, who 
when appointed the guardian of the public hopes and 
the public safety, " to feed and direct those streams, 
which must either desolate or fertilize our country and 
churches of our God, as they flow, to train and send forth 
corps of actors, destined to reform or corrupt life's ever- 
varying drama, and prove the future scourges of man- 
kind,"* who does not discharge his duty conscientious- 
ly, a duty incumbe&t on him by the special command 
of his almighty father, a duty which the general voice 
arid good of society demand. 

Since these truths are manifest, I know not what rea- 
son to assign for parents in general, being so unmind- 
ful of the literary abilities and moral qualifications of 
those to whom they give the charge of their growing 
offspring. Every one who has any acquaintance with 
human nature, or has observed children in their play- 
ful and unguarded moments, can perceive, that the 
impressions made on their tender minds, either by pre- 
ceptorial or parental example (though good impres- 
sions are, and may be often eradicated by vicious ac- 
quaintance, and our natural propensity to evil) burst 
forth in the full splendour of a good or bad act. In 
them we behold the effects they have. We can here 
particularly see the influence that these first principles 
have on their conduct. They promise to become either 
ornamental and useful members of society, or slaves to 
i - vices, and scourges of mankind. As they increase 
* Dr. E. Nott. 



REFORMER, 4\ 

in years, their virtues or their vices increase, Hence, as 
I have already observed, the principles imbibed in the 
twilight of our existence, are not easily effaced. And 
though the religious seeds early implanted in our way- 
ward minds by paternal care, may seem at times to 
slumber in oblivion, or even to be totally obliterated by 
surrounding and carnal pleasures, yet they generally 
break forth at a more remote period of life, and shine 
with renewed lustre. This, biography and experi- 
ence, the great teachers of mankind, fully testify. — 
Hence, we see men, who, when young, were taught 
the doctrines of morality and religion, begin to prac- 
tice these virtues, when they find themselves tottering 
on the very verge of the grave. Then it frequently 
happens that a retrospect of their crimes and follies 
overwhelms them with contrition and sorrow, and they 
behold, through the subtle veil of human reason, but 
more especially through the instrumentality of divine 
revelation, the necessity of flying for succour and pro- 
tection to the rock of ages before they visit that re- 
gion, " from whose bourn no traveller returns."-— 
These men, who though lost for a time, by giving 
themselves up to those alluring pleasures which de- 
stroy the noblest faculty of the mind, and render us, 
in some measure, like to the brutes that perish, have 
still the reliques of noble souls. When deserted by 
this divine illumination, we are left as a vessel in the 
midst of a tempestuous ocean, and in danger every 
moment of being overwhelmed by the tumultuous bil- 
lows. We have no means to guide ourselves, but are 
left to the providence of Mm, who created this im- 
mense fabric, and called millions of burning and sur~ 
D 2 



42 REFORMER. 

rounding- orbs from non-existence into being, and who 
profusely sheds his blessings upon the evil as well as 
the good. 

If then, the most admirable and wonderful effects be 
produced by the well directed influence of education, 
it may be asked why are its salutary effects so seldom 
to be seen. A change in the character of those who are 
to fill our places of education, can in a great measure, 
be effected by the circumspection of parents in know- 
ing to whom they give the superintendance of the lit- 
erary, and particularly the moral culture of their off- 
spring, if they feel disposed to resign this truly im- 
portant task to any one which, in truth, properly be- 
longs to themselves, and to which the great author of 
our nature especially designed, that they should i 
their attention. They certainly are better fitted than 
any other persons, provided that they have been well 
instructed themselves for the important duty ; and it is 
natural to suppose, that children educated by pru.knt 
parents, will conduct themselves with the greatest 
propriety and integrity through life. 

The maxims which they shall endeavour to incul- 
cate, will be more fixed in the mind, because they 
will, in general, be dictated in softer tones, and chil- 
dren will listen to them with greater attention, in con- 
sequence of the natural love which they bear to those 
om they are delivered. Children thus instruct- 
ed, will, by every means in their power, soothe and 
comfort the languishing hours of those who are not 
only their parents, but who have been their guides, 
their teachers, and their bosom friends, and when 
{hey shall be removed from this sublunary world, they 



REFORMER. 43 

will ever hold their names in sacred remembrance, 
But this I believe has seldom happened to children 
who have been committed to the guardianship of low 
nurses or wandering instructors, and it may be redu- 
ced to a moral certainty, that were all parents to com- 
mit their offspring to such characters, morals and lit- 
erature would soon take their flight from our country. 
Children, particularly in their younger years, should 
be kept under the immediate inspection of their pa- 
rents, but circumstances may occur, which may ren- 
der this sometimes inconvenient and often impractica- 
ble. In such cases all that can be done is, to procure 
as a substitute one who, while he will endeavour to 
instil into their minds the principles of human learn- 
ing, will not forget the one thing needful, the salvation 
of their precious and immortal souls. The inattention 
of many parents in this respect, is highly culpable, 
particularly of our modern fine ladies, who, in general, 
pay little or no attention to the education of their off- 
spring; but while they are thoughtlessly gliding along 
in their career of madness and folly, let them be assu- 
red that the time is not far off, when they will deeply 
regret their neglect in this respect.-— My observations 
on education have heretofore chiefly pointed out what 
I thought was the duty of males: I now proceed to 
what I think is incumbent on females in regard to this 
important business. 

CHAPTER III. 

The greatest glory of the woman ought to be the 
management of her domestic affairs, the performing of 
the various duties annexed to the office of a friend, a 



44 REFORMER, 

wife, a mother. They are words of solemn import, and 
yet how frequently are the friendly, conjugal and ma- 
ternal ties broken ! Depravity of disposition, bad ed- 
ucation, fickleness of temper— all combine to destroy 
the harmony and welfare of the human family by sow- 
ing the seeds of discord and malevolence among them ; 
nay, even between the parent and the child. Alas I 
too often are the sacred ties of friendship and matri- 
monial felicity, and still more of the maternal duty 
broken. The consequences of the unhappiness and 
misery which must ensue from these infractions of 
moral duty, seem not to aToitse people from their pain- 
ful lethargy ; but the same folly and inconsistency are 
manifested by them and their progeny whom they 
bring up in idleness and ignorance. This is generally 
the case with those, who are unhappily entrusted to 
another's protection and care ; and yet these impend- 
ing evils do not alarm parents, particularly mothers, 
from whom more tenderness might be expected for 
the fate of their children. They sparkle at the assem- 
bly, are admired at public places of amusement, ride 
in gilded chariots, enjoy the past, riot in the luxuries 
of the present moment, and anticipate pleasure in the. 
future ; hi a word, they seem to be blest with the crdm 
sunshine of a peaceful mind ; while, at the same time, 
their heirs, by the instrumentality of low nurses, and. 
ignorant and licentious preceptors, are forging chains, 
which, when they have grown to the years of maturity, 
they themselves must wear as bondsmen. Did gay 
mothers reflect on this, and would only consider what 
good they might do to the community, if they would, 
study the cultivation of their own minds and attend to. 



BEFORMER. 45 

their domestic concerns, they certainly would not act 
in so absurd and giddy a manner as too many of them 
do at present, They would not forget, that the edu- 
cation of youth of both sexes principally devolves upon 
them, not only in their infancy but during that peri- 
od, in which the frame or constitution of both body 
and mind, the disposition and temper are in a great 
measure to be formed. 

Women were intended to be the mothers of a ra- 
tional, not of an ignorant, trifling, and effeminate off- 
spring. But instead of this, they seldom or ever think 
of the Importance attached to them. " Learning, 
health, morals, salvation (says A. Picket in his Mir- 
ror) depend upon maternal instruction : Indeed owr 
happiness in this life, and the next, may, in -a great 
measure, be said to be the result of their proper man- 
agement in the early periods of our existence. How 
greatly, therefore should they, who are conscious of 
being well instructed by their mothers, revere the 
name ! I would be understood to speak of a real 
mot her i not of an airy, fantastical creature, who as soon 
as she has recovered from her confinement, flies to 
some part of the United-States in quest of pleasure, 
congenial to her disposition, leaving her infant, whose 
heavenly smiles would repay every maternal care, to 
the cold charity of a mercenary woman, who has often, 
at the same time, a child of her own to engross her 
maternal endearments.'* But let me hasten from these 
sad reflections, and advert to the most pleasing object 
in the world, a judiciously fond mother, who, " casting 
her regards round, through the pretty smiling circle, 
watches the gradual openings of their minds, and stu« 



46 REFORMER. 

dies the turn of their various tempers, in order to ex- 
pand the ripening mind, and lead their passions by ta- 
king hold of their hearts." Of such the reward is great. 
It will afford a source of the most pleasing reflection 
to such a mother, when she beholds her children sit 
round her tables whom she herself had raised, and 
conscious of having performed her duty towards them, 
and delighted with that opinion which the world en- 
tertain of them, as christians and useful members of 
society, she can in her aged and declining years,' wait 
in patience and cheerful resignation for that happy 
hour, when she is to be called from hence to receive 
the reward of her works. Such a mother, even in her 
dying moments, can smile with complacency on that 
part of her offspring, which may surround her bed ; 
because she has every reason to believe that they will 
continue to walk in that path of society and virtues, 
which she had taught them to tread in their younger 
years. Indeed she knows, that it must be so ; as she 
has learnt from holy writ that " a child trained up in 
the way he should go, when he is old, will not depart 
from it." She is likewise confident, that though she 
may be separated from her dear offspring for a while, 
the time is not far distant, when they will again unite 
with her in everlasting glory. She departs in peace. 
Ye dames of fashion, what think you of this picture. 
I can assure you, that it is not in the least surcharged. 
Many pious matrons end their days precisely in the 
manner here represented. But do you think, that 
you will end your days with equal comfort? Believe 
me, that you never can, unless through God's grace, 
there be a total change in your lives and conduct 



REFORMER, 47 

The dissimilarity between the ancients and moderns 
appears in nothing more forcibly than in the modes of 
education pursued by each. Laxity of discipline and 
superficial knowledge mark the present day ; rigidity 
and austerity of application and study that of Rome in 
her pure and flourishing times. Then the attention to 
children commenced with their birth. An infant was 
not (as I have before observed) educated in the cot- 
tage of a hireling nurse, nor under a depraved and il- 
literate schoolmaster j but in the bosom of its mother, 
whose praise it was, that she superintended her family. 
Parents were then careful to form their first habits of 
speaking and acting; to watch their growing passions, 
and direct them to their proper objects ; to guard them 
from immodest sports, and preserve their minds un- 
contaminated. In this manner were educated the 
Gracchi, Caesar, and other celebrated Romans. But 
alas I how changed the times ! O temfiora ! O mores I 
No Gracchi, no Caesars are to be found in these civil- 
ized days ; no heroes in literature, to rival those of an- 
tique years. Tacitus the historian, speaking of the 
corruption of manners, and the vicious modes of edu 
cation in the latter ages of Rome, says, "Children 
were committed to some maid, with the vilest slaves, 
with whom they were initiated in their low conversa- 
tion and manners." " Horum f abulia et erroribus te- 
neri staiim^ et rudes animi i?nbuuntu?'*—ne qidsquam in 
tota domo fiensi habet."* 

Many parents entrust their children abroad, to get 
clear of the trouble of cultivating their hearts and un- 
derstandings. This frequently happens, owing to their 
* Tacitus. 



48 REFORMER. 

ill qualifications for that duty. Engaged in the fanta- 
sies of dress, and parties of merriment and pleasure, 
they listen little to the calls of parental care. Yet 
there is still another motive which actuates them. I 
am afraid, that there is to© much truth in Plutarch's 
observation, when he says, " that parents have arrived 
to such a love for money, and such an indifference for 
their offspring, as for the sake of cheapness, to choose 
such instructors as are good for nothing." Such was 
the case in his days, and such it is in ours. The past 
is only a harbinger of what is to come. Crates excel- 
lently describes the manners and dispositions of some 
of those miserly parents of his time, in the following 
Hues, which may be applied with the greatest propri- 
ety to ours. 

KoXAKl, T*\*VT* <&'iv1i ITVfA.QovKU) KATTVOV, 

Iligvn TclxavIov, Qixzrcipa) TgtdCohov."* Crates. 

* " He gives his cook ten minx, his doctor a drachm, his 
toad eater five talents, his friends and counsellor smoke, his 
mistress a talent, his philosopher three half pence." 

The practice of employing- low teachers is not novel. As- 
cham, preceptor to Elizabeth, gives us the following account 
of the practice of his time. " Pity it is, that commonly more 
care is not had ; yea that among wise men to find out rather 
a cunning man for their horse, than a cunning man for their 
children. They say nay in words, but. they do so in deed. 
For to one they will give a stipend of two hundred crowns, 
and loth to offer the other two hundred shillings. God that 
sitteth in the Heaven laugheth their choice to scorn, and re- 
wardeth their liberality as it should: for he smTereth them to 
have tame and well ordered horses; but wild and 
unfortunate childrex : and therefore in the end find 
more pleasure in their horse than in their child." 

" As the case now stands, those of the first quality pay their 
tutors but little above half so much as their footmen.*' 
"'Tis moustous, indeed, that men of the -est estates and fop- 
tunes are more solicitous about the tutelage of & favourite dog 
or horse, than of their children." Guardian, JYo. 94. 



ftEFOKMER. 49 

And again, Crates, the philosopher, says, " if 'twere 
possible to make them hear, I would get up to the 
top of the highest pinnacle, and cry out, good people 
whither are you all going in such haste, ye who apply 
yourselves so earnestly to get money , but who take out 
little thought for your children, to whom you must leave 
"it all." And Aristippus, who being asked to abate his 
"charge for the education of the child of one of those 
savi?ig* parents, was told, that he might purchase a 
good slave for the sum he asked. To which Aristip- 
pus replied, "well, and so you may, and then you will 
have two slaves, the slave you have bought, and the 
slave you have begot" 

For such miserly parents, a name in no language 
can be found. They act inconsistently with what they 
dayly practise. You see those, who by dint of labour 
have acquired a tract of land, toil the live-long day in 
repairing the injuries of the fences, &c. from which 
"they have an idea of deriving some little advantage. 
Is the cultivation of your field of equal importance to 
the education -of your son or daughter, from whence, 
if rightly managed, you may reap much more profit, 
as well as credit and pleasure, than from all your other 
pursuits ? Why do you cultivate your land and neg- 
lect your children's education ? Is it for them: Some 
misfortune may befal you, and your ground will then 
.be liable to be sold for debt. You are then both de- 



Quintilliano 



Ut multum ? duo sufficient. Res nulla minoris 
Constabit patri quam fil'ius." Juvenal. 

" To Quintiliian the schoolmaster,how much ? Two sesterces 
will be enough. Nothing will cost a father less than a son," 
• ■ E 



50 REFORMER. 

prived of support. Perhaps you may ask, what I 
would leave them? I answer, a virtuous education. 
This will enable them to soar above all the calamities 
which can be inflicted on them, either by fire or 
sword. This alone is a fortune, of which neither fam- 
ine nor the ravages of war can deprive them. It mat- 
ters not in what situation they are placed ; they will 
find more real pleasure in the contemplation of the 
infinite wisdom of the mighty architect of the universe, 
than in the possession of millions of dollars, surroun- 
ded by the cares of a secular and grovelling mind. — 
Many instances might be produced to corroborate the 
assertions. Suffice it to say, that we find a noted one 
in. Lady Jane Gray, who reaped more exquisite delight 
in propounding the apothegms of Plato, than in dissi- 
pating her time in the festive sports of her acquaint- 
ance, in the midst of smiling scenery, and bands of 
Bacchanalian compeers. It elevates the mind above 
itself, and assimilates the possessor more to the Divine 
Ruler. Its. pleasures never fail; they are continually 
increasing. It brings the glad tidings, that their hours 
have not been mispent. The beauties of this immense 
©rb possess new lustre ; the unknown worlds burn not 
in vain, their revolutions are noticed by minds akin to 
their Maker's. To the cultivation therefore of our 
immortal part, let our sole aim be directed. Seek not 
for external accomplishments; they are continually 
losing ; internal ones are continually gaining. Be not 
ambitious of wealth or distinction, the improvement of 
the mind is worth them both. If it then happen, that 
an elevated station in government is united to a vir- 
tuous education, it gives the possessor a seat above 



REFORMER. 51 

worldly applause, and is a jewel in the crown of hu- 
man nature. 

But are these pleasures, blessings, and virtues, which 
adorn prosperity, " secundas res ornant" and exhilarate 
the mind in adversity, to be gained from schools, where 
the tender child's ear is assailed with an abundance of 
immoral and abusive expressions ? From men, whose 
mental qualifications render them mere blanks in so- 
ciety ? From men, who are incapable of distinguish- 
ing between intellect and stupidity ? From men, who 
condemn every sentiment which is not concordant to 
their immoderate and absonous way of thinking ? No ! 
Such men in a very short time do more harm to the 
cause of education, than more enlightened minds can 
correct in years. 

These men entrusted with our nation's safety, the 
tuition of those who are hereafter to guide us in the 
storms of war, when the times are pregnant with some 
dreadful calamity; who are to form and administer 
the laws of our country, and to decide on affairs of 
life and death;" these men I say entrusted with such 
an important office, frequently arise in their semina- 
ries, abuse, calumniate, falsify, and lavish every scur- 
rilous term upon their fraternity. They profane the sa- 
cred tribunal on which they have pledged their honours 
to support the cause of literature, and protect the morals 
of those entrusted to their care. They teach them by 
their example to disregard moral obligation, to bear 
false witness, to indulge in the spirit of slander, to 
reverence vice, and despise religion. They have as- 
severated to protect our youth from the contagion of 
Vice, by purifying their minds by the sound dictates of 



32 REFORMER. 

learning and science ; but have shrunk from their ful- 
filment, and already stand condemned before the con- 
secrated tribunal of God and man* 

It cannot be denied, that many instructors of youth, 
whose examples and precepts should form their minds 
for good and useful members of society, are men of 
the most abandoned and dissolute characters.! I have 
known many to come into their seminaries in a state 
of intoxication, to stun the ears of their scholars with 
the most indecent and vulgar language, language 
which would put to the blush a common harlot, till at 
last overcome by their inebriated draught, they have 
sunk into the chair, which ought to be the seat of 
justice, modesty, and learning, and dozed away the 

* As it is almost impossible to treat upon this subject at 
any length, without wounding- the feelings of some who are 
apparently free from the imputation, I hope, that my honest 
zeal in declaring' my sentiments, will not induce my readers to 
account me one of those despicable characters, who delights 
in scandalizing the repositories of polite literature and sci- 
ence, disturbing the peace of society, cr harrowing up the 
feelings of innocent men. I acknowledge the moral and lite- 
rary qualifications of several of our preceptors. I however 
add, that if any person think that he is the particular mark at 
whom I have been aiming my shot in this essay, and his con- 
science is smitten with self condemnation, I have no more to 
say, but refer him to the following apropos paragraph of 
Erasmus. " Si quisquam offend atur, et s'tbi vindicet, non ha- 
bet quod expostulet cum eo qui scripsit ; ipse, si volet, secum 
agat injuriam, utpot£ sui proditor, qui declaravit hoc ad se 
propria pertinere." "If anyone is offended and takes it to 
himself, he has no reason to expostulate with him who wrote. 
Let him, if he choose it, treat with himself about the injury, 
as he is the betrayer of himself by declaring that this be- 
longs to him." 

f If it were deemed necessary, I could mention several, who 
have died of " hard thinking," and a number who have left 
viituous wives, and taken a common prostitute to their bo- 
som, with whom they have dispersed their fortunes, and spent 
their remaining years. 



REFORMER. 53 

perfumes of their last debauch. It is idle to suppress 
such truths; — nay more, it is base: as it is no less 
pernicious to the morals of the rising generation, than 
to the harmony and welfare of society in general. It 
should be arraigned before the tribunal of reason and 
religion, and condemned by all intelligent beings. — 
Every parent wishes his children to be well brought 
up; yet places them under the instruction of such men. 
<( They wish to secure their hearts from vicious prin- 
ciples and habits ; yet commit them to the care of the 
most profligate lives. They wish to have their chil- 
dren taught obedience and respect for superiours ; yet 
they give them a master whom both children and pa- 
rents despise. A practice so glaringly absurd, has no 
term in language with which it can be branded, with- 
out losing much of its force and propriety. Parents 
themselves will not associate with the men whose 
company they oblige their children to keep." « Uti- 
nam fals o j act are tur"* And yet strange indeed, these 
characters noted for their profanity and illiberality of 
sentiment, can in almost any part of the United-States 
collect a school by hood- winking the public, by their 
bombastic circulars and quack advertisements. Thus, 
by their own folly and imprudence, people are imposed 
upon, by listening to the wonderful improvements in 
science and literature, which those persons pretend to 
have made. And may it not be reasonably asked, what 
mighty benefit has accrued to our children from these 
wonder-working preceptors — these men, who contrive 
to make the credulous part of the community believe, 
that they and they alone are the only genuine retailers 
* " I wish it were falsely reported." Quintillian, 



54 REFORMER. 

of science, learning and morals. The answer is obvious. 
They have wheedled parents out of their money, and 
children out of their time — that time which can never 
be recalled. Their professions have been loud, but 
they have done nothing to the purpose. 

" Mons partariebaty prodibitque mas"* Phadrus. 

Indeed their pretensions are so extremely ridiculous, 
that one would think it was only necessary to mention, 
them, in order that they might be treated with the 
most indignant contempt. Thus, one informs us, that he 
will convey to his pupils an adequate knowledge of granv 
mar in seventeen lessons; another, that he will teach wri- 
ting in thirteen lessons of two hours each; geography is 
to be taught in fifteen lessons : and who would not have 
their children instructed in the Greek, Latin and French 
languages, aye, and in mathematics too, since they 
can be instructed in either of these branches in thirty 
lessons. Then down with your colleges, down with 
your academies. What is the use of these old fash- 
ioned establishments, when as much knowledge can 
be obtained in our new seminaries in three weeks as 
in any of the ancient establishments in as many years ? 
But to be serious. It is impossible for one to treat 
this subject with any tolerable patience. Indeed, if I 
had not seen advertisements to the above purport in 
some of our daily papers, I would not have believed 
that a wretch was in existence who would dare to 
treat the- Americans with so great contumely, as to 
suppose that even one could be found so silly as to 
pay the least attention to his flimsy jargon, or that a 

* " The mountain was in labour and brought forth a mouse.'" 



&-EFORM-ER-. 5'S 

blockhead, could be found so stupid as not to feel dis- 
posed to hoot the impostor to scorn. But we live in 
a strange world. We have seen men audaciously 
profess, that they could do things which every man 
of the least reflection knew to be absolutely impossi- 
ble ; and what is more wonderful, we have seen some 
of our citizens, who, in general, conduct themselves as 
men of sense, giving implicit belief to every, thing 
which they say or promise. But to use a homely ex- 
pression; there are many of these good folks, who 
have allowed themselves to be so easily gulled, who 
are now sensible that they " have put their foot in it," 
or in other words, that " they have bit their fingers." 
Indeed, many of them have already acknowledged 
their mistake, while others rather go blundering on 
to the end of their days, than honestly acknowledge 
that they have been in errour. Strange absurdity. 
This is just as much as to say, I know that I was a 
fool yesterday, and must continue a fool to-day, in or- 
der to preserve consistency of character. 

But why should I multiply words ? Every man of 
sense knows, that it is impossible to teach a child 
more than he is capable of receiving, as it is for the 
rider to outstrip the speed of his horse,, or for the mar- 
iner to get ahead of his ship; and that those teachers 
who profess a contrary belief, are actuated by motives 
the most base and sinister. And, alas, such men we 
dayly engage as the guardians and protectors of our 
youth. Money is their God, intrigue their means, and 
injustice their principles. Their wisdom is cunning. 
" Deception and falsehood (as Dr. Smith observes) rest 
upon their lips, and calumny and scandal are their 



56 REFORMER. 

weapons. They ruin the virtuous, and cajole the 
mean and rich, the indigent and obsequious, with great 
promises of what they may expect. They stick at 
nothing to accomplish their ends, and defeat adds fresh 
vigour to their ceaseless treachery. Creatures of their 
own stamp are their guests. Their houses are defi- 
cient of virtue and wisdom. Their courage is malice, 
their cowardice a pretext of religion, without its 
principles. They are too shy to mix with the intelli- 
gent, lest their deficient knowledge should be discov- 
ered, and their ignorance bring them into contempt. 
With a countenance which never felt the blush of 
shame or innocence, they are cautiously mute in the 
presence of the discerning. Decked out like a tragedy 
King, they constantly put on a pompous, imposing ex- 
teriour, mixed with a sullen gravity of deportment 
which passes for a reflecting mind, with all those who 
are unable to discriminate between real modesty and 
insulting vanity." 

" Men of. genius and talents (continues he) are their 
constant theme of abuse and mortal aversion ; because 
they know it is from this quarter their ignorance is to 
meet with detection, and their schemes defeat. They 
associate with none but those to whom they are infe- 
riour in understanding (and they must be low indeed; 
to be inferiour to them) or men in low condition, bred 
in vulgar prejudices, and fraught with ignorance. 
Those with no sagacity like the spicier, to spin webs 
from their own bowels, to entrap the incautious, bor- 
row the talents for mischief from those more adroit 
knaves who are able to assist, and who watch for their 
prey with vigilance and attention. Thus prepared, 



REFORMER. 57 

they commence their career, by scribbling bare-faced 
falsehoods in the public prints, to prejudice the public 
mind against the first men of our country, whose zeal, 
talents, and virtue may stand in the way of those arch- 
instructors 5 illegitimate and unparallelled endeavours, 
Should they cover their deception with the specious 
appearance of public good, and zeal for the welfare of 
our youth, we may, from the profile, without the art of 
divination, discover an original. They may be more 
strongly marked by their connexion with those preten- 
ders to science, those flagitious hireling pests and ca- 
lumniators, who have endeavoured to dissolve the very 
bonds of society, the consolation of the afflicted, the 
hopes of the dying, and the terrours of the wicked; 
If, therefore, fellow citizens, a general cloud of ig- 
norance should have enveloped the public mind, and 
such instructors, who skim the surface of solid edu- 
cation, should have the power of directing our youth? 
what consequences may not be expected from thek' 
degenerating, directing influence," 

" Nat lupus inter oyes, 

Fulvos veldt unda leones"* Ovid. 

* t( The rapid torrent with impetuous force, 
Headlong' impels the lion in its course ; 
Fierce wolves and tender Iambs adown the tide. s ... 
Together mix'd in strange confusion glide " 



58 REFORMER. 

CHAPTER IV. 

Were the preceding truths known to parents, they 
would not only carefully search out good instructors, 
but cheerfully lend their aid in assisting them in cor- 
recting their children's failings and vices. They 
would, perhaps, more particularly, study their duty, 
meditate upon their awful responsibility, and reflect on 
the solemn separation which will soon arrive, and the 
more solemn meeting, which must e'er long take place 
before the unerring tribunal of the Most High. 

Though the parting from this alloyed world is a 
most terrifying scene to mortals, I sincerely hope 
that they will not be afflicted at the final hour with the 
terrible thought, that as parents and instructors, they 
never taught those committed to their care the value 
and importance of religion, and that they will not feel 
the distress of that afflicted mother, who in an over- 
whelming flood of grief and contrition, bending over 
the bed of her dying child, asked, * my dear, do you 
think that you shall be happy, do you think that you 
shall go to heaven ?' f Heaven !' replied the ignorant 
child, l what is heaven ?' For alas ! the mother had 
never informed her darling, that there was a God, a 
heaven or a hell, a life of immortal bliss or endless pun* 
ishment, that a virtuous course of life was the only 
passport to the regions of the blessed, and that a vicious 
conduct would certainly lead to eternal destruction. 
And what added to the poignancy of her grief was* 
that she sincerely believed in the existence of the 
Divinity, and had expressed a desire, that 'she might 
die the death of the righteous.' Her only child was 
torn from her by the ruthless hand of death, and to- 



REFORMER. 59 

stead of having any thing to console her for such a 
privation, she. had nothing left her, except these heart . 
rending reflections, that in consequence of her total 
neglect of the religious education of her child, she had 
disobeyed the laws of her Creator, and consequently 
she had not only made herself a miserable mother as 
long as she should live in this world, but that she had 
much reason to apprehend the reception she might 
meet with in the world to come. 

Let parents and instructors reflect, that when the 
mighty knell has sounded, the knell which shall strike 
prostrate to the earth the most audacious infidel, and 
confound the stoutest heart, their inattention to the ce- 
lestial gifts sent by our divine father from his heavenly 
abode, to be prepared for a re-entrance into his elysian 
realms, will, with a thousand aggravating circumstan- 
ces, occur in the hour of dissolution. It will be hard 
for them to leave this world, burdened as they are with 
so great a load of iniquity : but leave it they must, 
there is no alternative. The hour has arrived, which 
separates the dearest of mortal ties. Oh I our unfaith- 
fulness ! they will exclaim, oh ! little innocents, how 
can we die ! If we could but live, we would strive with 
all our souls to execute our duty, and prove ourselves 
faithful to you, whom we have so greatly wronged. 

We can form no adequate conception of that awful 
remorse of conscience, which those parents and pre- 
ceptors must feel, whose irreligious instruction has 
been the means of some part of the youth committed 
to their care, descending to the abodes of never end- 
ing misery. A reflection so dreadfully alarming, that 
it ought to appal the stoutest heart. What punish- 



£0 REFORMER. 

ment can be supposed equal to this, to dying mortals^ 
that Jiell claims as its chief votaries the prime instruc- 
tors, together with the chidren who have been under 
their protection 1 Have we not reason to believe that 
these children will curse them in the most piercing 
agony, and upbraid them in some such language as 
this? "You were the instruments of bringing us into 
existence in the other world; to you the care of our 
education was committed ; but you cast off the fear of 
God, and neglected to implore his blsssing on your- 
selves and onus in prayer and supplication; you hated 
divine instruction, and would not listen to God's re- 
proofs: you not only set us bad examples, but with- 
held from us that information, which was necessary to 
help us to a knowledge of the Divine Redeemer and 
of our duty. Here then view your works! If you 
had been faithful to us, we might possibly have esca- 
ped these doleful shades, these regions of horrour and 
despair, where our miseries are not only indescribable, 
but where we are even deprived of hope."* 

If parents were less attentive to worldly gayeties, 
and entertained just conceptions of the great impor- 
tance of a religious education, I have every reason to 
believe, that it would awaken the most acute sensations 
and lively regard for their children's eternal welfare. 

The multitude of infidels, who are permitted to swarm 
round the houses of some parents, should alarm them 
for the everlasting salvation of their offspring. Per- 
sons of this description are assiduous in the propaga- 
tion of their hellish principles, and should therefore 
be kept at a distance from those habitations, in which 
*-Clumsock. 



children reside. For it ought to be remembered that 
their principles are of the most deadly poison to the 
minds of youth, with whom they ought, on that ac- 
count, to be allowed to keep as little intercourse as 
possible ; for it may be taken for granted, that, such 
is their -zeal to gain proselytes to the cause of vice and 
immorality, if children or young people shall be al- 
lowed to associate with them free from restraint, they 
will soon learn their practices and follow their foot- 
steps. But infidels, whatever they may think of them- 
selves, are, in general, but little respected amongst 
those with whom they are on the most intimate terms. 
Hence, we may frequently see, that when an infidel 
who has some property to leave, thinks of making his 
will, he will not appoint a brother infidel as his execu- 
tor. The truth is, he well knows, that it is impossible 
that he can have any confidence in the integrity of such 
a deceiver. He, therefore, who despised christians 
during the whole of his^ life, is glad to make a christian 
the guardian of his property, when he approaches the 
gates of death. We see likewise into how great con- 
tempt our modern Theomachist's have lately fallen.— 
They are neither respected by society at large, nor by 
one another : and one would think, that some little def- 
erence ought to be paid to the opinion of the world ; 
but of this as well as of any thing else, to which the 
wise and the good pay any respect, they are complete- 
ly regardless. Now if children, at an early age, scoff 
at religion, and begin to utter Deistical or Atheistical 
opinions, the multitude will not hesitate to declare, 
without reserve or disguise, that those first notions 
were implanted in them by parental inculcation, or 
F 



(52 REFORMER. 

(which is almost the same thing) that their religious 
education must have been exceedingly neglected, or 
not attended to at all. 

The apostates from God are particularly gratified 
with the neglect of devout instruction to children.— 
They know how susceptible their minds are of every 
impression. 

" 'Tis education forms the c ommon mind, 
Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclin'd." 

They have been mortified to acknowledge, that, 
where religion prevails, their baneful principles have 
been abhorred, and that in such a soil they never have 
been found to take root. In Europe this very consid- 
eration has induced the enemies of Christianity to cause 
a number of young men to be instructed in their deisti- 
cal sentiments, and sent abroad into the world as 
teachers of schools. By these means, they were 
hopeful, that they would have a better opportunity of 
disseminating their pernicious opinions, of preventing 
the diffusion of religious knowledge amongst children, 
and of counteracting its influence.* But what is still 
more grievous to the true friends of Zion is, that they 
rejoice and make their boast of it, that when parents 
and teachers neglect the inculcation of holy precepts 
amongst their offspring, it indirectly aids their cause. 
When youth are void of pious information, and the 

* l will here observe, that I have read several of the senti- 
ments in two or three of the last paragraphs in some work, 
the author of which I do not recollect : but I think his name 
is Clumsock. I have acknowledged all I have taken from any 
author, as far as I can remember. 1 hope this apology will 
suffice. 



REFORMER. 63 

mind has not yet arrived to what one of the Fathers 
calls emphatically, "the compact and condensed pow- 
er of the understanding," it is open to sophistical im- 
pressions in literature, philosophy and Christianity, the 
sad consequences of which will be immediately per- 
ceived by any judicious and reflecting observer, 
• The first stages of children's education should keep 
us and teachers continually on the alert, in endeavour- 
ing to prevent the introduction of those destructive 
weeds, which spring up in a naturally corrupt mind ? 
and thrive to such perfection when they have once ta- 
ken root, that it requires no small exertion of skill and 
industry to eradicate them. The whole host of apos- 
tates have displayed their banner, and thousands both 
of young and old are hurrying to enlist under it. The 
trumpet is sounding, the standards are displayed, and 
we must soon defend ourselves and the cause of our 
holy religion. Accept, therefore, the apostle's exhor- 
tation. " Take unto you the whole armour of God, that 
ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and hav- 
ing done all, to stand. Stand, therefore, having your 
loins girt about with truth, and having on the breast- 
plate of righteousness ; and having your feet shod with 
the preparation of the gospel of peace ; above all, tak- 
ing the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to 
quench all the fery darts of the wicked. And take the 
helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, which 
is the sword of God ; praying always, with all prayer 
and supplication to the spirit, and watching thereunto 
with all perseverance and supplication for all saints."* 
And having thus equipped yourselves, let your ney.t 
* Eph. vi. 13— IS. 



64 REFORMER. 

attention be to secure your offspring, and prevent them 
from embracing those sentiments which lead to the 
shades of darkness.* 

Let guardians and tutors, therefore, deeply reflect 
on these things, let them gain a thorough knowledge of 
their duty to God and man, let them rally round the 
standard of their holy religion, let them cry out with 
one voice, that they will defend her liberties as well as 
their own, and the opinions of Theomachist's would 
become silent as the grave, while the triumphings and 
rejoicings of the followers of Jesus would be heard in 
every quarter of the civilized globe ; Pagan idolatry 
would be crushed ; infidels would cease to exist, and 
the true worshippers of Christ would stand forth, vin- 
dicated, emancipated and revered ; while the pathway 
which leads to heaven, would be strewed with flowers 
of every hue, and delicious fragrance calculated to al- 
lure the earthly sojourner to the abodes of ceaseless 
joy, tuned to the celestial strains of harmony and love. 



* Clumsock. 



REFORMER. * gg 

CHAPTER V. 

Men should be regularly bred to the profession of 
teaching, as students at Law or Divinity. Good and 
scrupulous teachers do equally as much good to socie- 
ty as divines. In their true characters, they are The- 
ologians. " Yet if any man (says Dr. Goldsmith) is 
unfit for any of the professions, his last refuge for sup- 
port is setting up a school. Do any become bankrupts 
in trade, they still set up a boarding school, and 
drive trade in this way, when all others fail ; nay, I 
have been told of butchers, barbers, and even itiner- 
ant play-actors, who have turned schoolmasters, 
and more surprising still, made fortunes by their new 
professions." 

" Could we (says he) think ourselves in a coinntry 
of civilized people, could it be conceived that we have 
any regard for posterity, when such are permitted to 
take the charge of the morals, genius, and health of 
these dear little pledges, who may one day be the 
guardians of the liberties of our country, and who may 
serve as the honour and bulwark of their aged parents I 
The care of our children, is it below the state ? Is it 
fit to indulge the caprice of the ignorant with the dis- 
posal of their children in this particular ? For the state 
to take charge of all its children as in Persia, or as 
once in Sparta, might at present be inconvenient ; but 
surely with great ease, it might cast an eye to the in- 
structors. Of all members of society, I do not know a 
more useful^ or a more honourable one than a respect- 
able and CONSCIENTIOUS PRECEPTOR • at the 
same time, I do not see any one more generally de~ 
spised, or whose talents are so illy requited." 
F 2 



66 JtlfORMER. 

In a former paragraph I observed, that conscientious 
and capable instructors aided the public, and were of 
as inestimable use as Theologists. This truth is un- 
deniable. The latter have the management of our mor- 
al faculties once or twice a week ; the former every- 
day. Hence, the latter has as important, if not a more 
responsible trust, than divines. 

The Church, the University, the Senate, and all 
flourishing literary institutions, are materially depen- 
dent on the state of our primary or initiatory schools : 
for let them be neglected, where shall we look for 
men fully competent to instruct the ignorant in the 
knowledge of Divine truth ? Where shall we find men 
whc shall guide us, when the fabric of civil liberty, 
amid the conflicting storms of anarchy and confusion, 
is shftken to its base, by surrounding and factious par- 
tizans ? And where shall we find men to follow the 
honourable profession of instilling into infantile minds 
sound and religious principles, which will prepare 
them for that world of spirits, to which we are all rap- 
idly hastening, unless men have been properly in- 
structed ? How shall the weighty offices of the bench 
and senate be discharged, if these useful and elemen- 
tary institutions be neglected, on which absolutely de- 
pend the welfare of a nation? These facts are unde- 
niable. If we are doomed to fall, let us fall in an hon- 
curable way. Let us retain a sense of our duty to God 
and human nature. But if after all that I have said, 
and after quoting the sentiments of the best and most 
enlightened writers of various ages, in confirmation of 
the ideas which I have advanced, it should unfortunate- 
ly happen, that the effusions of these benevolent mind? 






KEIORMEX. 67 

should be treated with ridicule, then religion and learn- 
ing, the glory of the world, the only embellishments 
of human life, the great causes which exalt man above 
the brute creation, must perish in one common grave,* 
and the spirit and genius of our immortal and erudite 
ancestors, will smile with indignant contempt on the 
talents of men, retrograding into their primitive state 
of barbarity. The most flourishing and fertile tree 
will droop and die, if it be not nourished in its tender 
growth. 

At present the vices of men who become the in- 
structors of our youth, seem to be no preventive t© 
their becoming the idle of the populace. Abilities say 
they, alone are requisite, which should the generality 
of people (were they capable of so doing) analyze, 
they would find to be a compound of impudence, and 
a spirit of adventure, commonly excited by poverty and 
unrestrained by any &ort of principles, except those 
which are common to a band of pickpockets or high- 
waymen. And it may perhaps be safely asserted, that 
the prosperity of a nation depends much more upon 
the state of learning and religion therein existing, than 
is generally thought. Indeed, no better criterion can 
be found, by which we can judge of a nation's virtues 
©r vices, than by an examination into the character of 
those to whom the instruction of youth is intrusted.— 
When the great body of teachers in any country, con- 
stitute, as it were a firm and determined phalanx, 
composed of men of religion and learning, then litera- 



* " LITERATURE, well or ill conducted, is the gTeat en- 
gine by which ali civilized states must ultimately be sup= 
ported or overthrown." Pnrsmts of Literature. 



68 REFORMER. 

ture, morality and piety, together with all the sublime 
and heroic virtues, will be among the distinguishing 
characteristics of that happy people : but when the na- 
tion's best hope is entrusted to men of depraved taste 
and dissolute morals, justice will require that the 
character of that people should be drawn in colours of 
the darkest hue. But upon this part of my subject it 
is unnecessary that I should enlarge in this place, hav- 
ing been already sufficiently explicit in some preced- 
ing parts of this essay. 

With vulgar and illiterate teachers who are not even 
acquainted with the first rudiments of the English lan- 
guage, much less with any of the other arts or scien- 
ces, I have already mentioned, that it is a common 
practice to vilify the reputation of gentlemen, who are 
no less eminent for their literary than their religious 
attainments. From wretches so low, so extremely ig- 
norant, and so totally unacquainted with the rules of 
good breeding (with them religion is entirely out of 
the question) a meanness of this kind ought not so 
greatly to surprise us. But when we see men, who 
have had the benefit of a liberal education, and who 
are now vested with sacerdotal garments, instead of 
using the influence of their sacred office to put a stop 
to this most obnoxious practice, joining in the unhal- 
lowed cause, what shall we say ? 

They suppose that their black veil conceals their 
heinous iniquities, under the specious pretence of a 
candid and open face. Their gown and their hearts 
are of a similar colour. They do not hesitate to re- 
vile their fellow instructors, but delight in propagating 
rumours, as false as the tongue that uttered them is 



REFORMER. j5# 

infamous. I speak not at random, but from facts "Which 
have fallen under my own observation. When minis- 
ters of the gospel descend to scurrility and scandal, 
thereby disgracing their professions, when they impu- 
dently in private houses violate those maxims which 
they publicly, from week to week, announce from their 
sacred desk, thereby rendering themselves notoriously 
guilty of the detestable crimes of defamation and de- 
traction, than which there are none more severely rep» 
robatedin the sacred scriptures, to whom shall we look 
for honesty, virtue or knowledge ? What shall I say I 
MINISTERS ARE BUT MEN.* 



• It appears that this description of Divines, who, under 
the mask of the sacred precepts of Christ, commit actions 
unworthy of a man, and punishable both by the laws of God 
and man, have felt the sting- of these sentiments. Truth will 
wound a disingenuous heart, when falsehood darts its shafts 
in vain. 

On the publication of a part of this essay, it was observed 
by one of these canting hypocrites, that it was one of the se- 
verest attacks upon ministers and religion that had ever is- 
sued from an American press ; that it was certainly the in- 
tention of the writer to infuse Deistical and Atheistical notions 
into young minds. Now if this were such a *' severe thing, 
and there was no truth in these sentiments," 1 should like to 
know, why this hypocrite got in such a rage about them ; 
why they should afford a moment's uneasiness to one posses- 
sed of a heart as pure and unsullied as that of a saint. — 
Ah ! ha ! monsieur hypocrite ! hazy weather ! a storm and a 
black one too, hovers near ! And again had this hypocrite 
(I call him so, for I know him to be one) or one of his fra- 
ternity, noticed the next paragraph, and indeed the whole 
tenour of the essay, he would have found that every thing 
which I have written is to dissuade parents from sending their 
children to dissolute instructors, and to seek the best one 
of whom I esteem more than a thousand " hypocrites/' to 
keep Atheists and Deists from the company of youth, to teach 
them religion instead of hypocrisy ; in a word, to perform, as 
nearly as possible, those things which Christ has commanded 
Mis disciples. 



7() REFORMER. 

These clerical schoolmasters not only injure the souls 
of those entrusted to their care, but even disgrace 
that profession which should gain them a decent 
and an honourable competency. They shume with \ 
the conscience as with a play thing. It is kept, as j 
Richard says, " for a scarecrow, and he who has the | 

For conscientious instructors and divines, who practice ( 
what they utter in theory, no man feels a greater veneration 
than I do I consider them the honour of a nation, by whose ' 
precepts youth are to be formed for every thing- great, no- ( 
ble and good. But 1 as well as others, despise the " cant- 
ing hypocrite," wh@ wears the veil of religion to hood- 
wink the public, and practice whatever he may think 

PROPER. 

" Need I enter into an examination of the characters of those . 
men who will seduce the wife of a good citizen, husband and 
father, who will ruin the character of a female, destroy her 
future hope, disgrace her friends, her sisters, her relatives, 
herself, merelv to gratify an unlawful passion ! What think 
you "hypocritical monster?" Think of a death bed! Con- 
science is a terrible accuser, its murmurings cannot be easily 
stifled. Much might be said upon this subject. I appeal to 
the virtuous part of the community respecting the truth of 
what 1 have advanced, not to hypocrites. To the decision of 
the former I submit, to that of the latter, I listen with con- 
t^npt, and despise the man for an outcry raised against 
himself. t . 

I could mention instances of seduction by minister* in this 
City, and in many other places, Which would rouse the pas- [ 
sions of the seducer himself, and even this hypocritical di- 
vine, and excite him to actions which might be fatal. I ab- 
hor* 1 detest from the sincerity of my heart, that vile wretch! 
who Would jSeiee upon an unguarded moment, ar.d 6b 
that, which being obtained, would disgrace the p< - 
well as the one who once possessed it. 1 would pursue h'tmi 
to the remotest regions of the earth, and exert my might 
to render the perishable infamy of his name im- 
mortal, j 
This "hypocrite" had better remain quiet, the avenues otj 
information are open, and probably he will be personally ad- 
dressed before any great length of time, when I shall be un- 
der the necessity of shewing that such men are unworthy uf the- 
sacerdotal office, that men should be governed by the die 



REFORMER. 7], 

most to spare, thrives best." Ah conscience, cry 
these long faced schoolmasters, we live by parting 
with it. Ah ! my holy friends, I wish that you had a 
little more of this natural faculty, if not the whole. 

I would, however, wish it to be clearly understood, 
that I do not speak in terms derogatory to the Theo- 

tates of reason and religion, and not suffer fancy to fan into 
a flame those passions which sting the conscience : that men 
are respected by the world, not according to their depravity, 
but the good they do, and to be happy in the world to come, 
they must live a virtuous life here. To-morrow it may be 
too late to think of these things. 

As I am upon this subject, I would earnestly request this 
arch hypocrite to examine his own heart, to ascertain whether 
he has changed his prejudices with his profession, and his 
virulent manner of speaking of those whose sentiments did 
not concord with his ? Whether his heart is purged of iniqui- 
ty and slander : I would ask him whether he can meet those 
men whom he has so bitterly calumniated, and not blush 
at his ungentlemanly conduct, and feel a disposition to fall 
upon his knees and make confession for his guilt ? Whether 
he recollects with what vehemence and acrimony he exclaim- 
ed against our honourable and worthy divines, 
Rev. Drs. MASON, ROMEYN, WILLIAMS, MILLER, 
M'CLAY, SPRING, MILLEDOLER, M'LEOD, PERINE, 
and many others, ivhen they were declaiming with boldness 
and justice against the pernicious effects of theatrical representa- 
tions ? Whether he recollects, that with a heart breathing 
the most rancorous hatred and animosity against them, be- 
cause he shuddered lest they should expose to merited detes- 
tations, the schemes and artifice of such impostors as he, 
he called " them fools and hypocrites, and their 

LANGUAGE, FLIMSY JARGON, STUFF WHICH WOULD 
TICKLE THE EARS OF AN IGNORANT AND VILE CON- 
GREGATION, A NEST OF KNAVES FOLLOWING THEIR 
HYPOCRITICAL MASTERS TO THE DEVIL." This Was Well 

said, arch hypocrite ! well said for one who was a teacher of 
youth ! fine language indeed to make use of against the heads 
of our churches, the most learned and useful men in our 
j country, to speak of a religious and zealous congregation. — 
This was the language, the mark of his Christianity and wis- 
dom, this was his weapon, which in the madness of folly, 
he supposed would prostrate to the earth these reverend am* 



72 HRFORMER. 

logical profession. Far be it from me. My observa- 
tions only apply to those who disgrace their profession 
by their crimes. Theological institutions when con- 
ducted by pious and qualified meD, are of the greatest 
importance to society, both with respect to spiritual 
and secular crimes. Without them the consequences 
would be peculiarly injurious to society. Gross super- 
stition, ignorance, depravity and idolatry, would over- 

bassadors of Christ, ennobled by every charm of virtue and 
goodness, possessed of minds polished by meditating on the 
sacred scriptures, and those volumes which have stood the 
test of time, infidelity, scurrility, and satire, and sharpened 
into a quick penetration of vice, under whatever form it may 
exist, by watching' the featmes of conscious depravity 
and baseness of heart. Say, hypocrite, do you at present 
consider these men such vile characters as you have often- 
times stated them to be ? Do you consider them such mon- 
sters of folly and wickedness, while you profit by their pri- 
vate conversation, and are entertained at their tables as a 
man of honour and virtue ? Base and vile must be that 
man who, with a mock profession of goodness, and with a 
sanctified face, will swallow the bread of those men to whom 
he has been, and perhaps is, their most bitter and rancour- 
ous enemy ! Go on hypocrite in the plenitude of depravity ! 
you may for a short time conceal your deception from mortal 
•yes, but remember there is an all -seeing judge ! Remember 
mimI remember «im! 

Speaking of hypocrisy, of which I spoke in the preceding 
note, Fielding proceeds with this truly judicious idea. " On the 
contrary, it is with a view to their service, that I have taken 
upon me to record the lives and actions of two of their false 
friends and pretended champions. A treacherous friend is 
the most dangerous enemy ; and I will say boldly, that both 
religion and virtue have received more real discredit from 
hypocrites, than the wittiest profligates or infidels could ever 
cast upon them : nay, further, as these two in their purity are 
rightly called the bands of civil society, and are indeed the 
greatest blessings, so when poisoned and corrupted with. 
fraud, pretence, and affectation, they have become the worst 
of civil curses, and have enabled men to perpetrate the most 
cruel mischiefs to their own species- 

Fielding's Tom Jones. 



REFORMER. ^3 

tvhelm the world : But as this must be obvious to 
every person of common sense, there can be no ne- 
cessity of adding any thing more upon this subject. 

For what reason parents still persist to entrust their 
offspring to men. who wantonly abuse the guardians 
of the public safety, who should in the place of vile 
insinuations ancl libels, enforce the wholesome doc- 
trines of religion and morality, I cannot conceive ; un- 
less it be to have their children perfected in the enor- 
mous crime of destroying the reputations of the inno- 
cent part of the community, without cause or mercy. 
If this be the case, as it pretty evidently appears, I 
shall be led to conclude, that those patrons are par- 
ticularly partial to such modes of education, because 
they most coincide with their feelings and sentiments. 

I repeat it therefore that, from what I have seen 
and heard, I feel it as an act of duty to proclaim to 
the public, that many of our instructors are much ad- 
dicted to these abominable vices; that they even ar- 
raign truth in their pretended seats of learning, and 
that their pestilential breath, like the pestiferous blast 
of Hades, poisons the vegetation, the progress and 
growth of the mind. Yet unhappily we dayly engage. 
such men. We have neither estimated, nor do we 
seem to wish to estimate sufficiently the merits of 
scrupulous teachers. But on the contrary we appear 
to hold, in a kind of veneration those men, whose ig- 
norance and vices have arrived to such a superlative 
height, that they receive no disadvantage from a com- 
parison with those of the former, and who are altogeth- 
er strangers to the blessings of a clear conscience, 
G 



74 REFORMER. 

Their character exactly corresponds to that given to 
some of their prototypes by one of the most austere 
satyrists of antiquity : 

* " Slupet hie vitio, et fibris increvit opimum 
Pingue, caret culpa, nescit quid perdat, et alto 
Demersus summa rursum non builit in unda." 

JPersius. 

Say, invidious calumniators ! think ye, that the en- 
vious and malicious breath of calumny or falsely prop- 
agated rumours, will ever injure or sway the breast 
that is fraught with conscious worth? No! 

The wintry blast of envy- 
Kills not the buds of virtue : they spread 
Beneath the influence of brighter suns, 
Through endless ages, into higher powers. 

And now, ye slaves to detraction, let me tell you, 
who are revelling in all the scenes of slander, that if 
you still deem it consistent with yourselves to rise up in 
your schools and abuse your fellow teachers, you will 
never thrive in your business. You will find that your 
pecuniary resources will fall short, that your supposed 
friends will desert you, and that you will be left unas- 
sisted, to gain a livelihood by your acquired expert- 
ness at calumny. 

* "He is become insensible by long habits of vice, and 
the heart of the man is waxed fat and gross ; he is placed 
beyond the imputation ot guilt, he has nothing to lose, and 
is plunged so deep, that he cannot rise, even to bubble on 
the surface of the stream." 



REFORMER. 75 

"Whose head is sharper than the sword, whose tongue 
Out-venoms all the worms of Nilus, whose breath 
Rides on the posting winds to heav'n, and doth belie 
Ail corners of the world. Kings, Queens, and States, 
Maids, Matrons, nay, the secrets of the grave 
This viperous slander enters." Shakespeare, 

To such, therefore, I would earnestly recommend 
this adage, " Keep your school, and your school will 
keep you." "A strict observance of these words will, 
I am sure in time, gain you estates and characters in 
an honourable way. Industry is the road to wealth, 
honesty to happiness, and they who strenuously en- 
deavour to pursue both, may never fear the critic's 
lash, nor the sharp cries of penury and want." " No 
faith," says Pindar, " can be reposed in those who 
have violated their integrity." 



CHAPTER VI. 

As truth and falsehood seem to come under what I 
am now speaking of, I shall take the liberty of saying 
a few words concerning them. They are so incom- 
patible with each other, that the man, who enlists un- 
der the shattered banners of the latter, may be said, 
without the least hesitation, to have no regard to the 
dignity of human nature. He is absolutely a stranger 
to the charms of truth ; indeed, he is an utter stran- 
ger to all the benefits which accrue from this celes- 
tial boon : he is unacquainted witlr the blessings she 
bestows, the peace which she infuses into every pos- 
sessor. Truth is the offspring of heaven, falsehood of 
the Cerberian cave, that teems with unceasing mise- 
ries. The villanous liar is a blot on nature's brow. 



76 REFORMER. 

The outlawed robber, the corrupter of virgin inno- 
cence, the midnight murderer, all among their hell- 
born crews, keep the word of promise to each other, 
?,nd are respected by their fellow-comrades, so long 
as they retain the inviolable bond unbroken. But the 
malicious liar is despised, disowned, and treated as an 
outcast from the world. He cannot, if he has any con- 
science) after he has propagated his foul reports, re- 
turn with a mind embalmed in the slumbers of peace 
to his mansion, which to every honest man will appear 
as an asylum or place of repose; he cannot smile upon 
his lovely innocents, without shedding a tear of sym- 
pathy for their worthless father. Nemo malus fclix* 
" He has no circle, to which he may retire, where his 
crimes may stand in the place of virtues ; but is given 
up to the hisses of the multitude, without a friend, 
without an apologist. It is the peculiar condition 
of falsehood, to be equally detested by the good and 
bad. " The Devils/' says Sir lliomas Broivn, " do 
not tell lies to. one another, for truth is necessary to 
all societies ; nor can the society of hell subsist with- 
out it." 

" There is," says Dr. Johnson, " an ancient law of 
Scotland, by which teazing making was capitally pun- 
ished. It would have been better, had the framers of 
that law substituted the words lying and calumny. I 
am (continues he) far from desiring to increase the 
number of punishments in this country ; yet I cannot 
but think, that they, who destroy the confidence of so- 
ciety, weaken the credit of intelligence, and interrupt 
the security of life ; harass the delicate with shame. 
* No bad man is happy. 



REFORMER. 77 

and perplex the timorous with alarms, might very 
properly be awakened to a sense of their crimes, by 
denunciations of a whipping-post or pillory ; since 
many are so insensible of right and wrong, that they 
have no standard of action but the law j nor feel guilt, 
but as they dread jmnishment." " Ignavissimi homi- 
nes, aliud clausum in pectore, aliud promptum in lin- 
gua habere ; atmcitias, ini?nicitias, non ex re, sed com- 
modo estimare ; magisque vultum quam ingenium bo- 
num habere."* 

Can the breasts, therefore, of such persons ever be 
fraught with the consciousness of a well done action ; 
can they ever 'feel the compunctious visitings of na- 
ture,' for past crimes, which swell the catalogue of 
human woes ? No, they will still glory in the friend- 
ships which they dissolve, the miseries which they 
create j in a word, they would rejoice to behold the 
mighty and immense fabric of moral, social, and in- 
tellectual virtues, perish in the grave, prepared by the 
fell hands of a slanderer, a deist, or an atheist. 

The difference between the three, is, if any, very 
little, as to the effects they have upon the rising gen- 
eration. Of the former, I have already spoken. As 
the two latter tend to render the churches of our God 
and religion despicable in the eyes of our youth, des- 
troy the harmony of society, violate the inviolable seal 
of an oath, and degrade man to the lowest depth of 

*' " Most dastardly men — they have one thing" concealed in 
their heart, and another at their tongue's end. They enter- 
tain friendship or enmity, not according' to their real senti- 
ments, but according to convenience. They have rather a . 
good outward appearance, than a good disposition." 

G 2. 



78 REFORMER. 

which he is susceptible, so does the_former prepare 
the way for those who are yet in a state of compara- 
tive innocence, to become such loathsome characters. 

Yet such, I repeat this truth often, nun~quam nimis 
dicituV) quod nunquam satis dicUurf are they, to whom 
our youth are entrusted, and I fear years must elapse 
before the community will open their eyes, and inquire 
into the characters of those, who superintend their 
children's education. 

I would wish it, however to be understood, that I d& 
not think all our instructors subject to censure : 
by no] means. There are conscientious, capable and 
highly meritorious preceptors, who fire eminently pat- 
2'onized by the enlightened and virtuous part of the 
community. And I am persuaded, that as long as 
they support the honourable profession, in the manner 
they have done heretofore, they will meet that encour- 
agement which they so amply deserve. I do not deem 
it requisite to mention them, as they speak for them- 
selves. 13ut agreeably to what I have already obser- 
ved, I feel myself constrained to say, and I say it with 
reluctance, that there are too many teachers amongst 
us, who are just as well qualified to inculcate, upon 
the rising generation, the principles of moral rectitude, 
as Thomas Paine. Their principles are equally as 
dangerous, as those of this arch Theomachist. For 
my own part, I would as willingly permit that a God- 
win, a Mirabeau, or a Voltaire, should oversee my chil- 
dren's moral and religious education, as many of our 
tutors ; particularly some of those, who come from the 

* "That is never said teo often, which can never be said . 
•ften enough." Seneca. 



REFORMER. 79 

eastern continent. Many of them were obliged to 
leave their native land, in consequence of their perfidy 
and crimes, and were driven hence by the loud sound- 
ing voice of the virtuous and intelligent, but deeply 
aggrieved part of the community, aye and some of 
them were absolutely fugitives from the officers of 
justice, from whose hands they made a very narrow 
escape. But it is deeply to be lamented, that in their 
flight from their native country, they took along with 
them all these detestable principles, which rendered 
them so obnoxious at home : and no sooner had they 
landed on our peaceable shores, than they sounded the- 
tocsin of infidelity, and began to make proselytes far 
and wide. Yes, in the happy land of America, once 
so pre-eminent in every moral and social virtue, and 
so peculiarly distinguished for its steadfast adherence 
to truth, and to pure and undefined religion. But, 
alas! these halcyon days are passed with the years- 
beyond the flood. Ah i when will these happy days 
return. " Grave virus munditias fiefiulit."* The vir- 
ulence of the infection has corrupted and destroyed 
ail that was sound, beautiful and healthy. 

Sixty years ago, there was more than sixty times 
the attention paid to the government and the religious 
education of youth than there is at present. In those 
days of innocence infidels were almost unknown. If 
there were any who doubted the Divinity of Christ, 
and of course the authority of the sacred volume, they 
found it expedient to keep their unhallowed thoughts 
concealed within their own breasts ; for such men 
would, in those days, have been universally despised, 
* Horace's Epis. ad August. 



gQ REFORMER. 

But now infidelity triumphs over shame, appears un- 
disguised, blasphemes our God, ridicules our holy re- 
cesses, and rejoices to see the Cross of Jesus pros- 
trate in the dust. And what is the cause of this infi- 
delity ? It is manifestly owing to the unfaithfulness 
of parents to the moral instruction of their children', 
aided by the instrumentality of these illiterate and de- 
praved schoolmasters. It is a melancholy considera- 
tion, when we come to reflect upon the subject, that 
those, who ought to rear up souls by their precepts 
and good example, for a life of immortality beyond 
death and the grave, have contributed to strengthen 
the infidel host, and crush the glory of all nations, the 
prime fountain from which all our earthly as well as 
celestial pleasures emanate. We are touched with 
commiseration; Oh 1 shall we not exclaim, " tell it 
not in Goth, publish it not in the streets of Ascalon^ 
lest the daughters of the uncireumcised triumfih" 

For my own part, I have not the least idea, let their 
literary talents be ever so eminent as teachers, of pa- 
tronibing any of them unless I consider them as men of 
probity and honour. Much less would I be prevailed 
upon to espouse the cause of such teachers as are the 
most abandoned miscreants. Nay* I would rather that 
my children should remain totally ignorant of every 
branch of science and polite literature, than subject 
myself and them to the displeasure of a justly offend- 
ed God. 

Learning and religion differ widely from one anoth- 
er; though learning, when rightly employed, is the 
firmest pillar of Christianity. When the former de- 
cays, the latter -will also feel its power and want. 



REFORMER. gj[ 

These bonds of society cannot be kept sacred in the 
hands of Atheistical, Deistical or corrupt men. The 
public, therefore, should particularly inquire into the 
characters of those, who advertise as being fit to be 
the guardians of our offsprings' education. If this is 
done, these men must either become the defenders of 
religion in appearance, or restrain their bitter and im- 
pious invectives. This would be a powerful instru- 
ment in preserving the minds of youth uncontamina- 
ted : and until this be done, we may look in vain, to 
see them growing up under the sacred influence of 
the true faith, laying a firm foundation for the church 
of Christ, and bidding defiance to the whole host of 
Godwins, Mirabeaus, Pains, Volneys, and Voltaires.* 



CHAPTER VII. 

If any of my sentiments seem to be too freely or ac- 
rimoniously expressed for any of those casuistical advo- 
cates, it must be remembered, that they are expressed 
in the ardour of conviction of their truth. Blasphemous 
language or viilanous acts must be condemned in the 
style of energetic reproach, if we wish our efforts to 
have any influence. The soft tones of sycophancy 
will not answer at this critical juncture. I will not 
stoop to please parasites ; they are a disgrace to hu- 
manity; they know not the dignity of their origin. 
Adulation, perhaps, might have pleased those who are 
deceived by these impostors. Men of noble minds, 
unfettered by the manacles of narrow prejudice and 
gothic ignorance, rejoice to see essays from those, 

- * « Mendici, mimi, balatrones." Horace. 

" Beggars, players, and yarlets of every description." 



§2 REFORMER. 

who will not pen to humour the follies and caprices of 
the multitude, to be softened by the plausible sayings 
of pedagogues, or terrified at the hireling critic's lash. 
They exult in seeing those, who would impose upon 
the understanding and good nature of the public, ar- 
raigned and condemned by the fiery ordeal of the peo- 
ple. They cannot suffer the apprehension, that the 
least interval of time should elapse, before they may 
behold these characters, the objects of their indigna- 
tion and contempt, and doom them to that punishment 
which they claim, from their supreme eminence in 
depravity and licentiousness. In a word, if we were 
fully able to comprehend the arcana of their hearts, 
which are by many covered under the veil of religion, 
we should see breasts fraught with crimes deposited 
there, for future acts of villany, and preserved without 
the hazard of diminution* The " odia in longum jaci- 
ensf qua rccond.-ret) auctaque firomeret" I once im- 
agined, applied only to the heathen bosom, which had 
publicly renounced the existence of the true God, and 
all moral obligation. " The text is in Tacitus ; those 
referred to, know best where to look for the commen- 
tary."! 

To conclude. — It is now full time to begin to brush 
away the insects which flutter round our seminaries of 
education, whether creeping or fluttering, they have 
too long crawled over and soiled the intellectual 

* Junius' Letters 

■\ " Sic funis Caci mens effera ; nee quid inausum aut in- 
tractatum selerisve, dolive," Virg: JEn. 8 

11 So ferocious and infuriate was the soul of Cacus. He 
left not a species of crime, trickechiesg, treachery or fraud zmat- 
tempted or untried" 



REFORMER. g$ 

ground of our country. " It is high time to shake the 
little sickly stem of many a puny plant, and make its 
fading flowers fall. And ill, indeed, does that man 
deserve the notice or the respect of the public, who 
suffers himself to be intimidated by the war-whoops of 
disappointed teachers, or moved by the feeble shrieks 
of witlings and poetasters ; who permits himself to 
be drawn aside for a single moment from the path of 
justice and truth, by mistaken notions of kindness, by 
the whining cant of affected candour, by the miserable 
grimaces of mawkish humanity, which discerns no dif- 
ference between wisdom and ignorance, between intel- 
lect and stufiidity. It is the duty of every man, while 
life beats in his bosom, to plead in behalf of learning, 
and the cause of his country." And may the vices 
and incapacity of these sanctified hypocrites be detect- 
ed, and they meet their just reward. From the sin- 
cerity of my heart, too, I desire, that when the flight 
of years begins to envelope this period under the 
misty veil of fable; when the loud trump of science 
shall be heard in every quarter of the globe, the vices, 
the depravity, the inattention- and the inabilities of 
the present age to the instruction of our youth, may 
mber in oblivion ; and if ever the story of the pas- 
g times be told, may it be reiterated with a tear of 
npathy for the rising generation. 



34 REFORMER. 

OK THE EVIL TENDENCY OF THEATRICAL REP- 
RESENTATIONS AT SCHOOL. 

* * Age vero, quern tu mihi comaedum, quern circulatorem 
apectare malis, quam istos in concionibus rhetoricantes orani- 
no ridicule, sed tamen suavissime imitantes ea, quae rhe- 
tores de dicendi ratione tradiderunt ? Deum immortalem ! 
ut gesticulantur, ut apte commutant vocem, ut cantillant, ut 
jactant sese, ut subinde alios atque alios vultus induunt, ut 
omnia clamoribus miscent !" Erasmus. 

" Now, what comedian or mountebank had you rather see, 
than these gentlemen flourishing away in their discourses 
mest laughably ; but yet most sweetly following all the 
rules laid down by the lecturers on the art of speaking. 
Good God ! what gesticulations they make, how aptly they 
change the tone of their voice ; how they seem to sing it out ; 
how they throw themselves about, what faces they make, 
what attitudes they assume, and how they confound every 
thing with their vociferations !" 

There is no topic on which the pens of literary 
and scientific men have been better and more justly 
employed, and which they have handled with greater 
severity, than that of reciting or acting* plays in our 
initiatory or elementary schools. Teachers, who have 
engaged in its cause, have felt the sting of their satire, 
and, by their feeble resistance, fallen under its severity. 
The advantages which they, as well as their patrons, 
supposed would accrue from this silly and preposter- 
ous practice, have proved so immaterial, that it ap- 
peared highly improbable, that these juvenile play- 
houses would be again revived by preceptors or sup- 
ported by the multitude. Yet such has been the case, 



REFORMER. g5 

and parents in general, do not see the ill effects, which 
theatrical representations have upon the minds of chil- 
dren, nor endeavour to crush a process of education so 
glaringly absurd and so obviously detrimental. 

At present, the modes of inculcation are, with some 
new-fangled teachers entirely different from those of 
past time. Then the importance of educating chil- 
dren well, to fill their minds with the seeds of sound 
and wholesome knowledge, to strengthen their morals 
and intellectual powers, was considered the prime ob- 
ject. Preceptors pursued a method of instruction, 
from which the greatest benefit might be expected^ 
and which, in time, always produced a rich reward- 
They recommended and chose for youth such aathors 
as had received the sanction of public approbation. 
But the day has undergone a change unfavourable to 
religion and manners. Manly and rigorous modes of 
education are relaxed, and novels or plays* and their 
exhibitions have usurped their place. Considered in 
themselves, their effects are highly deleterious to those 
who are unhappily their objects. 

The practice, prevalent as it is, meets not only 
the approbation of the higher ranks of society, but: 
also finds an abundance of advocates, among the low- 
er. By the former, I mean such as have acquired 
a fortune by dint of labour, but are without the advan- 
tages of a good education; by the latter, those who 

* I speak not of the excellencies of some novels and plays; 
only of their effects upon voung- minds. Shakespeare, Rowe, 
and Otway's tragic muse sufficiently recompense readers for 
their perusal of them. Johnson's Rasselas, Goldsmith's Vicar 
of Wakefield, &c &c. still retain their place among" the vol- 
umes of the moral and christian man. 

H 



8(5 REFORMER. 

are without either learning or fortune. People of these 
classes have had little or no opportunity of acquiring 
knowledge, their tastes have never been improved by 
the study of the beauties of Nature and Art; they 
have seldom read any works of established literary 
merit, and consequently are strangers to that superi- 
ority, which the expansion of the mental powers, gives 
one man over another. They cannot, therefore, have 
any conception of that greatness of mind, of which 
men are susceptible, when properly managed, and 
which exalts and dignifies the human character : but 
without which it moulders by inaction and degenerates 
into crudities and ill humours. Hence they are inca- 
pable of forming just ideas upon the process of educa- 
tion necessary to be pursued to render the ascension 
to Parnassus easy and pleasing. They are exposed to 
every imposition in literature, and charmed with every 
chimerical mode, which has the appearance of accel- 
erating the progress of their offsprings' literary at- 
tainments. 

" O quam contempta res est homo, nisi supra humana se 
erexit."* Seneca. 

As the credulity of the many is apt to be imposed 
upon by preceptorial artifice, I shall offer my reasons, 
why I disapprove of exhibiting children upon the stage. 
It has been deemed by some, who, in other respects, 
seem not to be destitute of judgment, that it was re- 
quisite to bring them forward in public, not only with 
a view of making them appear bolder in company ; 

* " O how contemptible a thing is man, unless he raise* 
himself above human things." 



REFORMER. 87 

but also to render them proficients in the art of elocu- 
tion. Each of these requisites, I will answer in its 
proper place. 

Suppose that one piece shall have been complete- 
ly learned, will it have the least tendency to assist 
them in another of a dissimilar nature ? No ! If they 
gain the fleeting sound of applause at one of these ex- 
hibitions, will that enable them to appear to better ad- 
vantage abroad ? Will it not rather tend to engender 
self-sufficiency, than which nothing is more disgust- 
ing ; to attract their attention to what finally gives 
them a frothy mode of thinking, or rather to make 
them cease to think at all ; to induce them to imagine 
themselves wise, whereas in reality they know nothing, 
and lastly, will it not have a tendency to render them 
liable to be defeated in every branch of study, upon 
which they may undertake to converse ; even on the 
very branch, to which they and their instructors have 
paid the greatest attention. 

Neither is it, says a learned author, desirable, that 
boys should acquire that love and habit of declaiming, 
which may introduce them to spouting clubs, or dis- 
puting societies. If we may believe report, little else 
than Infidelity is learned in some of those schools of 
oratory. Nor can it be supposed, that elegance of 
diction, or of utterance is often found in such unse- 
lected associations. " Nee eloquent em^ says Petrarch, 
quidem efficiunt, sed loquacem."* 

* " They do not render a man a good speaker, but merely 
a prater." 

" Malo indisertam prudentiam guam ioquacem stidtitiam." 
I prefer good sense, without the talent of fine speaking, to 
talkative folly. Cicero, 



§8 REFORMER. 

Another ill arising from their learning plays is, that 
they cannot study them as they ought, without the as- 
sistance of the best teachers of elocution, who are 
very rarely to be found ; consequently, parents spend 
their money for nothing, and the children obtain for 
their labour* a few fleeting and vague sounds, the 
meaning of which they cannot comprehend, nor apply 
correctly in the most familiar conversation. Nor is 
this all. I think, that this mode of instruction is one 
of the greatest obstacles to their future advancement 
in learning, that can well be imagined, as it has lite- 
rally obliged them to commit to memory things which 
they cannot understand, in their boyish years, and of 
which there is no possibility of making use as a key 
to the acquirement of any valuable study at any future 
period. It may, indeed, tend to strengthen their mem- 
ories ; but, in the mean time, under such inauspicious 
circumstances, their judgments must lose the use for 
which they were designed. If parents, would rathe:*, 

" Loquax ?nagis quam facundus" 

A talkative rather than an eloquent man. 

u Satis eloquentice , sapientice pmim." Sallust. 

Garrulity enough, but rather too little good sense. 
" To speak well, says the learned Dr. Knox, depends mor« 
«m the corporeal endowments, than any other accomplish- 
ments. Whatever learning and judgment, the mind may 
have acquired, yet unless nature has formed the organs of 
speech in perfection, and unless she has given the student a 
considerable degree of bodily strength, he will seldom be- 
come a distinguished speaker. Art may, however, assist 
him ; and, if they enable him to speak slowly and distinctly., 
they will have done him great service. Dr. Knox further ob- 
serves, that, alter all that has been said on the great import- 
ance of speaking, the first attention should be given to the 
acquisition of a sound judgment and good sense, and words 
will follow in course; " no?i inopss rerum mug a: que canor i ei. J ' 
Not what the French call verbiage." 



REFORMER. 3$ 

that their offspring should possess the power of re- 
tention, and a superficial knowledge of the various 
branches, which constitute the elegant scholar, I would 
by all means, advise this process of instruction. If not, 
it should be immediately dropt, and lessons suitable to 
the students' capacities be introduced. They would, 
then, take the greatest delight in learning, and obtain 
double the portion of knowledge in half the length of 
time, which is occupied in teaching them to perform 
dramatical pieces. If youth be permitted to proceed 
superficially in the study of their vernacular language, 
if it be tolerated in the least, it will open a way to the 
same inaccuracy in every future branch of learning, to 
which they may be required to direct their attention ; 
and as all have an absolute dependance upon each 
other, they should not be permitted to learn any thing 
without attaching to it a definite idea and correct 
sense. This method, because a little laborious, is not 
practised in most of our seminaries. Many, thus ru- 
ined in the first stages of their education, spend their 
lives on the threshold of learning, without ever enjoy- 
ing the pleasure arising from that conscious superi- 
ority which men of letters enjoy over the ignorant 
part of the community, and those faculties designed 
for far nobler ends, corrode by inactivity, and prove a 
source of unceasing misery. 

Indeed, I am astonished upon a retrospect of this 
mode of procedure ; that parents have not long ago 
decryed such a silly and irrational practice, and sought 
for academies, where their offspring may be instruct- 
ed in the principles of pure morality and religion ; and 
where instead of concealing the latent sparks of ge- 
H 2 



§0 REFORMER 1 . 

nius, by rattling over the absurdities often contained in 
dramatic works, they would be instructed in the rudi- 
ments of English Grammar.* This tends to expand 
the human mind more than the dry, abstract reason- 
ings of philosophy ; and prepares them at a maturer 
age to descend into the depths of science, by means of 
which, they, at a future period, become ornaments to 
themselves and parents, and useful members of society. 
The reason may be asked, why teachers instruct 
their pupils in such ridiculous stuff. The answer 
is easy. Many teachers are so intolerably ignorant of 
the first principles of that highly important science, 
and indeed of almost every other ; that they endeav* 
our, by every possible means, to veil their incapacity 
by a luxuriance of show, and permit their students to 

* " Adeo in teneris consuescere maltwn est." Virg. 

Of so great consequence is it to habituate him in his ten. 
der years. 

" At great Grammar schools, little attention can be paid to 
the impatience of the injudicious parent. A regular plan is 
usually there established ; such a one, as, from the earliest 
times, has been attended with success. The great and lead- 
ing principle of that plan is, to lay a firm and durable 
foundation in grammar. I hope no parental indul- 
gence, and no relaxation of discipline, will avail to bring 
into neglect this less splendid, but indispensably necessary, 
attainment. When the grammar is learned inaccurately, all 
other juvenile studies in polite literature, if prosecuted at all, 
will be prosecuted inaccurately; and the result must be, im- 
perfect and superficial improvement. The exercise of mind, 
and the strength of mind acquired in consequence of that ex- 
ercise, are some of the most valuable effects of a strict, a 
long, and a laborious study of grammatical learning, at the 
puerile age. At that age grammar studies must be difficult; 
hut the difficulty is every day conquered, and the conquest 
has given additional strength and confidence, and facilitated 
the acquisition of farther victories." 

Dr. Knox Lib. Edn. 



REFORMER. §J- 

proceed to the most difficult parts of knowledge, with- 
out understanding what they have learned in any of 
the initiatory branches. When they have obtained it, 
by heart, as it is called, they are in the same situation 
as before, for their preceptors cannot explain it to 
them. Thus children are deprived of their invaluable 
time, and parents of their money. Were men to lend 
a more attentive and unprejudiced ear to the reputa- 
tion of some of our schools, perhaps they would not 
be so frequently deceived by those, who make great 
pretensions to science, and yet scarcely possess com- 
mon sense. If a man, in modern days, barely mention 
a few names of eminent authors, and flatter parental 
imbecility and ignorance, he is set down as a learned 
man indeed^ and a candid and open hearted friend. 
But, in the ordinary course of things, they who scan 
not the artifice of teachers, with respect to talents, 
will be often deluded ; their offspring's morals* cor- 
rupted, and their talents blasted. 

All this can be remedied, or, at least, in a great de- 
gree, would parents duly consider the tendency of 
learning memoriter, and make careful inquiries into 
the literary and moral qualifications of those, whom 
they engage to superintend their children's education. 
By employing men competent, and conscientious in 
the discharge of their truly important duties, men 
who would ground the children committed to their 
care, in the principles of religion as well as of science ; 
though their proficiency might be slow, in the begin- 
ning, yet in the end it would amply recompense pa- 
rental anxiety and attention. It should be remem- 
bered, by preceptors and parents, « that it is not the 



92 reformer^ 

quantity, but the quality of instruction impressed on 
the mind,"* not merely the going over a lesson, that 
makes sound scholars; but the explaining and render- 
ing every thing clear, easy and familiar. " All errours 
in education, says Locke, should be less tolerated than 
any other ; for these, like faults in the concoction of 
any article, that are never mended in the second or 
third, carry their afterwards incorrigible taint with them 
through all the subsequent parts of life." 

I cannot, in the least, conceive any advantage which 
can be derived from learning plays by rote indiscrim- 
inately, together with the grimaces and obscure ex- 
pressions which characterise some of them, and the 
bombast so conspicuous in others. It is true, that 
they have the appearance of teaching the learners to 
speak fluently and elegantly ; to furnish them with an 
abundance of words, which however, they unhappily 
do not comprehend. If a sufficient copia verborum 
could be obtained, by this new-fangled way, it would 
indeed be a very great improvement upon our Lexi- 
cons, and add a great lustre to the pupil's address ; 
** there being nothing which designates the scholar 
and gentlemen more than a good fund and selection of 
words ;" but unfortunately the result is diametrically 
opposite. 

As the children are brought forward, the audience 
must rationally suppose, that they are, by the precep- 
tor's help, properly prepared in all the mazes of orato- 
ry, and dramatic representation. But great, indeed, is 
the mistake. I have seen it always prove the contrary, 
and observed that the dramatis persona have exposed 
* A Picket's Mirror. 



REFORMER. 93 

themselves to the contempt of those present. « Good 
nature seemed to lead the hearers to conceal their dis- 
pleasure from the boys ; but it was evident to others. 
None seemed to have approved of it, except the more 
illiterate. " 

In what a pitiable situation, therefore, must those 
boys be placed, who mount the rostrum to excite the 
laughter of the audience? At that tender age, in which 
they are most played the puppet with, they have very 
little knowledge, if any, of those subjects, which they 
generally pronounce. They must, therefore, set their 
inventions on the rack to say something, when in real- 
ity they know nothing, to murder, as it were, those 
pieces with the most uncouth gestures, which are 
in reality none of their own ; but the invention of the 
teacher ; such skilful rhetoricians have we engaged 
in the cause of literature. But may not this be con- 
sidered as a sort of Egyptian tyranny, commanding 
them to make brick, before they have procured the 
materials ? Before they can recite pieces to any ad- 
vantage, they ought to be able to enter into the spirit 
©f them 5 know what the authors mean ; where to lay 
the emphasis ; how to modulate the voice ; where and 
how to gesticulate ; otherwise it is as absurd, to en- 
deavour to command the naturally languid feelings of 
an audience, listening to these giant-killing exhibitions, 
as it would be to give an idiot the use of his reason. 
Thus this grand parade, this fantastic dream of igno- 
rance and folly will avail nothing to the young votaries 
of Thespis. — It is a wonder to me, how boys of active 
and generous feelings, can waste their time over such 
sftsipidity, which will prove in the end an idle dream. 



96 REFORMER. 

repeating of plays or pieces at so early an age, will 
have the least tendency to exalt the young actors to a 
higher standing in the world ? Can it be imagined, 
that they are able to comprehend the meaning of those 
selections from Shakespeare, Milton, Pope, Goldsmith, 
Addison or Johnson and inforce them before an audi- 
ence with the proper emphasis, pause, tone, and ges- 
ture, which are the very essence of good reading and 
speaking ? Neither can it be thought, that those men, 
who undertake the Herculean task of infusing, into 
the youthful mind, the soaring spirit of Demosthenes 
or Cicero, can have any skill in the divine art of elo- 
cution, or that they have any knowledge of human na- 
ture ? For they surely must suppose, that all children 
are endowed with the same faculties, and consequently 
that all may be orators, all play-actors, all poets, 
all musicians, or all sculptors. It is this false notion 
among teachers, of confining all their scholars to the 
same branches of study, which is productive of so 
much ignorance among youth, and causes so much 
difficulty in the first years of their instruction. The 
unnatural bent of their mind struggles to get free and 
apply itself to that which is most congenial g to it. To 
cramp genius is to ruin its energy. When the powers 
of the mind are exerted upon any science or art, which 
is natural to it, they never fail, at some future period, 
to elevate the proprietor to the notice and admiration 
of the public. If parents therefore could be induced 
to foresee in time, what must be the termination of a 
superficial mode of instruction, they would not so of- 
ten be surrounded by filial illiteracy, nor be imposed 
upon by preceptorial artifice. 



REFORMER. §J 

I would ask the patrons of virtue and genius, 
whether these theatrical exhibitions tend to polish 
the understanding, and assist the cause of morality 
and religion. The ends of education are these, and 
no modes whatever, which are not .auxiliary to these, 
should be patronized. Theatrical representations are 
injurious to the cause of both. For as we are. natu- 
rally bent on what is evil, and as vice is pourtrayed 
with such infatuating charms in almost all dramas, the 
young are unable to resist its influence, and conse- 
quently fall an easy sacrifice. In most plays, intrigue 
is the basis, and the villain, who walks through the 
path of licentious and unmanly pleasures with the 
greatest ease, in the end, meets with as much ap- 
plause, as he who walks according to God's holy laws.* 

* The immortal and divine Watts, speaking of play- 
houses, proceeds thus: "It is granted that a dramatic rep- 
resentation of the affairs of human life, is by no means sinful 
in itself: lam inclined to think, that valuable compositions 
might be made of this kind, such as might entertain a virtu- 
ous audience with innocent delight, and even with some real 
profit. Such have been written in French, and have in times 
past, been acted with applause. But it is too well known, 
that the comedies, which appear on our stage, and most of 
the tragedies too, have no design to set religion or virtue in 
its best light, nor to render vice odious to the spectators. In 
many of them, piety makes a ridiculous figure, and virtue is 
drest in the habit of folly ; the sacred name of God is fre- 
quently taken in vain, if not blasphemed; and the man of 
flagrant vice is the fine gentleman, and the poet's favourite, 
who must be rewarded at the end of the play. 

"Besides, there is nothing will pass on our theatres, that 
has not the mixture of some amorous intrigue : lewdness it- 
self reigns and riots in some of their scenes : sobriety is put 
quite out of countenance, and modesty is in certain danger 
there : the youth of serious religion, that ventures sometimes 
into this infected air, finds his antidotes too weak to resist 
the contagion. The pleasures of the closet and devout re- 
tirement are suspei/ied at first, and then utterly vanquished 
I 



98 # REFORMER. 

Like the Epicurean philosophy, adorned by the poetic 
elegance of Lucretius and Virgil, sanctioned by the 
sceptical Cicero, and embraced by Caesar and Atticus, 
they have undermined the morals of the young, des- 
troyed the vital principles of religion,* and proved the 
bane of the nation. This was the case in ancient days. 
After the manly exercises of the degenerate Romans 

by the overpowering influence of the last comedy : the fancy 
is all over defiled, the vain images rise uppermost in the 
soul, and pollute the feeble attempts of devotion, till by de- 
grees secret religion is lost and forgotten : and in a little 
time the playhouse has got so much the mastery of con- 
science, that the young christian goes to bed after the eve- 
ning drama with as much satisfaction and ease, as he used 
to do after evening- prayer. 

" If there has been found two or three plays, which have 
been tolerably free from lewd and profane mixtures, there 
are some scores or hundreds that have many hateful passa- 
ges, for which no excuse can be made. And when all the 
charming powers of poesy and music are joined with the gay- 
est scenes and entertainments, to assault the senses and the 
soul at once, and to drive out virtue from the possession of the 
heart, it is to be feared, that it will not longkeep its place and 
power there. What a prophet of their own says of the court, 
may with much more truth and justice be said of the Theatre. 
" It is a golden, but a fatal circle, 
Upon whose magic skirts a thousand devils 
In chrystal forms sit, tempting innocence, 
And beckon early virtue from its centre." 

Again. 
" It would be endless to trace all the vice 
That from the playhouse takes immediate rise, 
It is the inexhausted magazine, 
That stocks the land with vanity and sin. 

By flourishing so long, 

Numbers have been undone, both old and young, 
And many hundred, souls are now unblest, 
Which else had di'd in peace, and found eternal rest." 
Jf'atts on the JWind. 
* To this cause, the obscenity and irreverence to Godj so 
conspicuous in most of our English tragedies and comedies, 
the French philosophers ascribe the prodigality of the Eng- 
lish nation. 



REFORMER. 99 

were overwhelmed by dissipation and forgotten, and 
the Hippodrome, theatrical amusements, and gladia- 
torial shows had usurped their place, the Roman 
youth became so debauched and effeminate that they 
seemed to have lost all that iire and spirit, which char- 
acterized their immortal ancestors. The modes of 
education being altered, the spirit of the people was 
lost. The change was fatal. The descendants of the 
warlike Romulus and his successors who had expelled 
loose and unrestrained enemies from their homes, who 
had fought for the temples of their Gods and the sep- 
ulchres of their fathers, now sunk upon the bed of lux- 
ury, and heard the trumpet of battle with dismay. 
The lustre of her former victories was darkened by 
the inability of servile talents. Rome sunk from her 
elevated grandeur into insignificance, and she stands, 
to this day, a monument to nations, that when rig- 
orous modes of education are relaxed, the prime sup- 
ports of a nation, religion and virtue, feel their want 3 
and that the ill-fated country soon degenerates into 
Pagan barbarity, ignorance, and superstition. 

To show the more dangerous effects that Dramas 
have upon juvenile minds, and even on persons, who 
are old enough to be capable of distinguishing between 
the loveliness of virtue, and the deformity of vice, we 
frequently see, that theatrical performances seize upon 
their minds, and from seeing vice so beautifully ar- 
rayed (as I have already observed) they naturally as it 
were, fall in love with it, and henceforward pursue ways 
equally detrimental to morals and the understanding. 
Since mature age is so easily led astray, how much 
more liable must children be to be imposed upon by 

fLofC. 



100 REFORMER. 

their plausibilities ? They inflame their minds, and 
like the Upas tree, diffuse their poisonous vapour all 
around, dealing death to every thing which comes 
within its destructive vortex. The fairest flower in 
this inhospitable region soon droops and dies. Such 
is the inevitable effect of that infatuation, which leads 
both men and women, old and young to theatrical rep- 
resentations. I may also assert, that even the commit- 
ting plays to memory, for the use which I have men- 
tioned, has a very dangerous tendency ; as it turns 
their attention, to the despicable means of obtaining a 
livelihood by play acting, of which we have had sev- 
eral instances.* The concomitants of this mode of 
life are well known. We may form a pretty accurate 
conclusion of the company which they will keep, of the 
manner in which they will spend their time ; of the 
strength of their constitution after a few years, and 
finally of their end ; for it is one of the rarest things 
in nature, that we see a player of temperate habits, or 
one who has amassed any considerable sum ; it is sel- 
dom that he discovers mines of gold and silver, in the 
midst of riot and debauchery. He lives in an unpleas- 
ant atmosphere and in a barren soil. 

The reading of a judicious and instructive volume, 
by one whose chief attention is fixed on the theatre, is 

* I can vouch for the truth of this assertion. Several per. 
sons whom I knew, were taught, while at school to speak 
pieces, and fell so ardently in love with theatrical declama- 
tion, that they in a few years, took to the stage for suppoT-t. 
If, on the other hand, they had been accustomed to recitf 
nothing but pure and moral sentiments, free from theatric 
gesture, the effect might have been the contrary. 

" Chuse the best life, and custom will render it agreeable.*- 1 

Pivtareh 



REFORMER* 101 

attended with little, if any, edification. His mind be- 
comes roving and distracted. He cannot compose 
himself to any serious labour, and the repository for 
useful knowledge now becomes the repository of tri- 
fles. This intellectual dissipation has, no doubt, been 
one great cause of that superabundance of ephemeral 
novels and romances, these great perverters of taste 
and morals, which have of late been issued in greater 
numbers from the press than any other species of com- 
position. And to our disgrace be it said, that notwith- 
standing the many irrefragable arguments, which have 
been adduced against them, they have for many years, 
occupied the most conspicuous place in the annals of 
literature* Should we, in the course of our perambu- 
lations, accidentally fall in with one of these admirers of 
the theatre, and, at the same time, put into his hands, 
one of the volumes, which contain the profound, 
chaste, and philosophical reasonings of an Addison, a 
Johnson, a Locke, a Bacon, a Reid, or a Stewart, 
we would be treated as visionaries, and the contents 
of the volume would be laughed at as the effusions of 
ignorance and fanaticism ; while the writings of Shake- 
speare and Rowe, and even of dramatic authors of a far 
inferiour class, would be extolled to the skies and every 
encomium heaped upon them, which an infatuated and 
perverted imagination could possibly bestow. Such 
men can say nothing, as it respects literature in general, 
or the beauties of any one author in particular; nor can 
they speak upon any other literary subject, except it be 
respecting their favourite bards, or the legendary tales 
of some romantic lover. They deem philosophy and 
Christianity as useless appendages to the human char- 
I 2 



102 REFORMED. 

acter ; but were they only to reflect, they might soou 
be satisfied, that if they should live so long as to be 
assailed with old age and disease, they would then'find 
that these two inestimable treasures would be the only 
sources, from which they could derive either pleasure 
or consolation, and that the satisfaction, which they 
would then receive, would afford ample compensa- 
tion for all the time and attention, which they might 
have devoted to these truly interesting subjects. To 
this, it may be added, that if these were studied with 
that due attention, which their vast importance re- 
quires, we should not so often be under the painful 
necessity of shedding the sympathetic tear over the 
depravity of our fellow mortals : nor should we behold 
vice and immorality openly parading our streets, and 
visiting our nocturnal assemblies; but on the contrary 
men would in the evening be engaged in the solemn wor- 
ship of God in their closet, cr under the wide extended 
canopy of heaven, in some retired spot, or under some 
shady bower, employed in meditating on the grandeur 
and sublimity of the works of Creation and Providence. 
Compared with this, how paltry, how insignificant are 
all the pleasures of sense ! 

I have already mentioned a few of the most promi- 
nent evils, which attend a too strict adherence to the 
business of acting plays at schools, or indeed of acting 
them any where ; but it is impossible for me to enu- 
merate one half of the evils, which accrue from this 
truly detrimental practice. Misery attends the votary 
of the theatre in all his steps. He is so much en- 
gaged ill trifling and insignificant amusements, that he 
is tendered totally unfit for any thing useful to himself 



©r society. He has no real pleasure. This earthly par- 
adise seems " to him a quintessence of dust," and all 
the beauties of nature appear created for no purpose. 
He is now, after having shattered his constitution by 
dissipation during his younger years, about to enter on 
the active scenes of busy life ; at every step he meets 
with impediments ; and he must meet with losses, of 
which he never dreamed, in consequence of his total 
ignorance of business. He will see his virtuous ac- 
quaintance struggling against the storms of fate, and 
riding triumphant over the tumultuous billows ; while 
every gale seems ready to overwhelm his unruly bark; 
but his malady is beyond a cure. He is, at last, seized 
with despair and rushes precipitately into the arms of 
death. Unfortunate man ! to fall thus, in the prime 
of years, a curse to thy parents, and leaving nothingj 
which can live behind thee, but a detested name. 

Yet, in despite of experience, we have teachers 
amongst us, who wear the form of men, continually 
thundering in our ears, with their usual vociferation, 
that dramatic performances are of the most valuable 
use. Youthful morals, in their noisy clamour, are un- 
eonsulted and left to seek a sanctuary for themselves. 
And those unhappy youths, who cannot find it, soon 
sink into the devouring flame of dissipation ; and when 
arrived at maturity, they come creeping from their 
tufted huts, covered with shame and sorrow. Sunk 
in ignorance, they enjoy none of the beauties of this 
earthly paradise. At last after a short life of shame 
and misery the fell scythe of death, which spares nei- 
ther age nor sex, cuts them off, and they are hurled 
into the oblivious ocean of eternity. 



XQ4 REFORMER. 

In vain, therefore, do those, who perceive the evil 
effects resulting from those superficial and fatal modes 
of education, which have already been pointed out, 
endeavour to diffuse a general knowledge of the use 
of discipline and sound inculcation, and to banish this, 
deleterious practice from the fair fields of science. 
The voice of reason is crushed by the artful declama- 
tion of the vain pedant, who employs his scanty func- 
tions to dazzle the imagination with a gorgeous display 
of absurdities. The rigid exercise of mind recom- 
mended and practised by our forefathers is of no avail. 
Those who are endeavouring to revive the system, 
which produced the brightest luminaries in literature, 
are treated with the greatest insolence and contempt. 

Frequency of report upon any subject gives it the 
appearance of truth. This, theatrical innovators well 
know, and by often and unjustly condemning consci- 
entious and capable instructors, and severe modes of 
education, they gain the affections of the populace and 
secure a periodical revenue. But let men of this des- 
cription recollect, that the triumph of the wicked can 
only be of short duration ; that though they may have 
been successful, for a time, in deceiving a great part 
of the community, the bubble has already begun to 
burst, and the people are rapidly recovering from the 
delusion, under which they have so long laboured. 
Upon the complete recovery of their senses (and from 
present appearances, it cannot be long before this de- 
sirable event will take place) these pedantic impostors 
must revert into their original insignificance. They 
will full into the pit, which, for so many years, they 
have, with the greatest craft and cunning, been dig- 



REFORMER. 105 

ging for others. Education will then flourish. Men 
respectable for their good sense, extensive erudition, 
and irreproachable morals, will be caressed, as the on- 
ly persons, who ought to be employed " to teach the 
young idea how to shoot," whilst these illiterate and 
immoral pretenders will be obliged to hide their di- 
minished heads. The good old mode of teaching 
children, orthography, English grammar, arithmetic, 
geography, history, composition, &c. and above all, 
that most excellent plan of causing them to understand 
completely whatever they learn, will be universally 
restored, and all visionary and mischievous projects of 
education will be, it is hoped, for ever exploded from 
our youthful seminaries. Of so happy a change, the 
literary world would soon find the good effects ; the 
morals of the people, particularly of the younger part 
of them, would, in a very short time, be greatly im- 
proved, and the cause of God would find an abundance 
of advocates. 



108 REFORMER. 

mind and the opulent in gold ; the immense ascension 
or descension of man in the scale of human beings. 
Indeed it is impossible, for persons'of ordinary under-, 
standing, to peruse them, with any degree of attention, 
N without experiencing some refinement of taste, and 
imbibing some of the most noble sentiments, which 
ever inspired the human heart. Who, for example, 
can read the works of a Plutarch, a Homer, a Xeno- 
phon, a Demosthenes, a Virgil, a Terence, a Tully, a 
Tacitus, or a Longinus, and not derive improvement 
both to his heart and understanding ? — And insensible, 
indeed, must be that man, who cannot spend hours in 
the contemplation of the beauties, which abound in 
almost every page. 

The sordid and ignorant, cannot, by the most direct 
reasoning, be made to comprehend the value of these 
studies, the most important object of which, is to pu- 
rify the taste, 'harmonize the affections, improve the 
understanding and heart, and enhance the dignity of 
human nature. They naturally imagine, that it is the 
external appearance which makes the true gentleman, 
that all qualifications are subservient to frippery of 
dress, and that gold supplies the place of internal 
sources. But they are sadly mistaken : intrinsic mer- 
it contributes to external grace ; and the brightest 
natural powers, will not make a person agreeable, nor 
scarcely respectable in polished company, if he be to- 
tally a stranger to that liberality of mind, of which a 
familiar acquaintance with Grecian and Roman litera* 
ture is so abundantly productive. 

The followers of fashion, who have merely passed 
the surface of classic lore, and even touched that su- 



REFORMER. 109 

perficially, may, indeed, deny all these excellencies, by 
producing themselves as examples, of the little advan- 
tage to be derived from the study of those immortal 
productions. It is unhappily too true. They have not 
improved their time, and the faculties which God, in 
his bountiful mercy, has been pleased to give them. 
Their ignorance of the beauties of the ancient writings 
arises, either from their not being kept at the grammar 
school or College a sufficient length of time, from 
dull intellect, or from their fondness for the amuse- 
ments of folly and dissipation. These obstacles to lit- 
erary progress are powerful enough to obstruct all 
proficiency in studies of any kind. — They may urge in 
lieu of the possession of classical knowledge, that they 
have a good English education, and that this is all 
which they want ; as it will teach them to accumulate 
riches ; and that they can relish the beauties of Eng- 
lish composition as well as those, who have formed 
their taste upon classical models. 

This I deny, and my denial is confirmed by the 
most intelligent writers, not only of past ages, but 
also of the present. We find few, if any of those 
who have risen to eminence, who have not followed 
the advice of Horace. 

" Vos exemplaria Graeca 
Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna."* 



" Make the Greek authors your supreme delight 
Read them by day, and study them by night." 

Francis. 
" Graiis ingenium, Graiis dedit ore rotunclo 
Musa loqui, praeter laudem nullius avaris, 

K 



HO REFORMER. 

Dryden, Pope, Addison, Johnson, Goldsmith, Ar~ 
buthnot, Atterbury, Stewart, Reid, Beattie, Campbell, 
Gerard, Blair, Allison, Berkly, Ariosto, Tasso, Pe- 
trarch, Boilean, Fenelon, Bossuet, Moliere, Corneilie, 
and many others, who are esteemed by the world as 
amongst the greatest men, that ever adorned an age, 
seem to have been perfectly acquainted with those el- 
egant languages. The time of those men in the ac- 
quisition of their classic knowledge was not mispent, 
for their writings are possessed of as much taste and 
judgment, as those of the ancients. If this have been 
the consequence of a careful perusal of the volumes 
of antiquity, as it really has, we may look with con- 
tempt upon the idle declamation of those, who cannot 
relish those glowing descriptions, which abound in 
every part of the works of those admirable writers. 
And may we not justly add, that miserable indeed 
must that man be, who cannot retire, after the accu- 
mulation of opulence, to enjoy his remaining years, in 
tranquillity and quiet. And surely life never passes 
away more cheerfully, than when a man has it in his 
power to withdraw to his bed-chamber, and read and 
muse on the lives of those, who have filled all time 

Romani pueri longis rationibus asscm 
Discunt in partes centum diducere." 

Horace. 
" To her lov'd Greeks the mu;e indulgent gave, 
To her lov'd Greeks, with greatness to conceive, 
And in sublimer tone their language raise — 
Her Greeks were only covetous of praise. 
Our youth, proficients in a nobler art, 
Divide a farthing to the hundredth part ; 
Well done ! my boy, the joyful father cries, 
Addition and subtraction make us wise." 

Frcmcik, 



REFORMER. Hi 

with their renown ; who have been in simila? situa- 
tions to himself; have felt the storms of adversity, and 
the calms of prosperity ; who have performed their 
destined part in life, and slipped from this busy scene 
into the ocean of eternity. Old age needs consolation ; 
and this can best be attained by religion and an ac 
quaintance with polite literature. 

With respect to the assertion of those superficial 
latinists, that they relish the beauties of the English 
language, I boldly maintain, that they cannot feel 
those elegancies of which they speak, with half that 
zest, as they, who have studied the classic writers at- 
tentively. A perfect and critical knowledge of our 
own language, and consequently of the most polished 
beauties of English literature, cannot be obtained with- 
out a pretty accurate knowledge of the Grecian and 
Roman writings, from which most of our polysyllabic 
and other words are derived. Cadunt Grceco et Lat- 
ino fonte. Independent of this consideration, as I have 
before observed* we find contained in their works some 
of the most exalted and refined sentiments of morality, 
the most glowing and exuberant productions of poetic 
fire, and the most interesting and valuable events of 
ancient and modern history. These, to be enjoyed, 
with any degree of pleasure, must be perused in the 
originals ; all translations falling infinitely short of the 
spirit and expression of any sublime composition in an 
exotic tongue. 

With respect to the selecting of Latin and Greek 
books proper to be read in schools, no judicious and 
experienced master will need directions. I do not 
presume to urge my opinions as the unerring dictates 



112 REFORMER. 

of wisdom and experience ; but beg leave to offer my 
sentiments upon so important a subject. 

The pupil, after he can go through the inflections 
of the verbs, nouns, pronouns and adjectives, exclu- 
ding the minutiae of the grammar on his first going 
over it, I think it expedient for him to commence 
Hardie's Cordery's Colloquies, or Historia Sacra. The 
teacher should at this time, read some little of the 
author, to give his disciple an idea of the manner in 
which he ought to proceed ; not leaving him to strug- 
gle with unnecessary difficulties on the very threshold. 
I have known several teachers to begin in this way, 
the consequence of which has been, the scholar in a 
short time became disgusted, and never after would 
make any proficiency in the Roman language. The 
viva vox and his dictionary must be the only assistants 
in his reach. I have, for a long time been inclined to 
believe, that translations were at first introduced by 
illiterate innovators for the purpose of veiling their ig- 
norance and idleness, and by the translators for the 
sake of promoting their pecuniary aggrandizements. 
I am decidedly of opinion, that though they may give 
the appearance of accelerated proficiency, yet they 
tend ultimately to retard the business of classical edu- 
cation, and, at most, give the learner only a superficial 
knowledge of the beauties and elegancies of Roman 
and Grecian literature. At the revival of learning, none 
of these artificial helps were to be had, and the great- 
est ornaments in the various department of science and 
literature were produced. And why not at present ? 
The genius of men for the Belles-lettres was not at 
that time brighter than it is at present, nor were their 



REFORMER, 113 

minds more capable of expansion, and yet in late times, 
we have scarcely any classic scholars who can be com- 
pared with those who flourished immediately alter lit- 
erature had resumed her reign. It is, I say, by these* 
artificial helps, the auxiliaries of dull intellects, that the 
knowledge of those transcendent languages has been 
obstructed; and by innovators and pedants brought 
into disrepute. 

It is here worthy of remark, that many teachers 
neglect the elementary parts, and by premature ad- 
vancement, hasten their scholars on to the highest 
branches, to give them the appearance of great pro- 
ficients, without laying a permanent basis, upon which 
may be raised a superstructure grand and elegant.* 

The results arising from facilitating and superficial 
processes, are too manifest not to be immediately per- 
ceived, and too detrimental not be feared and avoided. 
I therefore deem it highly important, that the learners, 
be daily exercised in the Rudiments, and Hardie's 
Cordeii or Historia Sacra, and in some easy and fa- 
miliar examples, till they can give indubitable proof 
of their being well acquainted, in what may be called 
the basis of the Latin tongue.f 

* " Eastigia spectantur, latent fundamenta. — Non sunt con- 
lemnenda, quasi parva, sine quibus magna constare non pos- 
sunt. — Nee siquid discere satis non est, ideo necesse non est." 

Qidntillicm. 

The roofs of buildings are seen by every body, while the 
foundations escape notice.— Things are not to be despised as 
little, without which great ones cannot be produced. 
Nor are we to reject any thing as unnecessary, because 
it is not in itself sufficient, and is only conducive to some oth- 
er purpose. 

j The Rev. W. Shepherd, the Rev. J. Joyce, and the Rev. 
Lant Carpenter, L. L. D. speaking of the Latin Rudiments, 

K 2 



1 14 REFORMER. 

The next book which the scholar will commence, 
is Viri RoMiE.* This I think far preferable to. Jus- 
tin and Eutropius for beginners. Indeed, I do not ap- 
prove of these works. " The former is merely a dry, 
chronological table of events ; and the latter is per- 
haps the most wretched attempt at universal history, 
which was ever written, in any language. I am not, 
therefore, apprehensive of incurring the censure of 
any man of taste by rejecting both," and introducing in 
their stead, Viri Rom^e, or Hardie's Selects e 
Veteri. 

Previous to the scholar's entering upon C^sar or 
the. Fasti and Metamorphoses of OviD,f books, 

proceed thus : " But the student must observe that he ought 
to keep himself, in the constant exercise of analysis or pars- 
ing-, i. e. declining- the nouns and pronouns, forming the verbs 
which occur, and investigating in the rules of syntax, the rea- 
son of the cases, genders, modes, &c. This will appear at 
first irksome, but it will soon become easy ; and in the for- 
mation of verbs, and the declension of nouns, he will find 
much assistance in Hoole's terminations." — To which the 
same writers observe in their treatise on systematic educa- 
tion, speaking of indexes and ordos : "We are firmly per- 
suaded, that more real progress in a knowledge of the Latin 
tongue, will be made by the patient, unassisted investigation 
of ten lines, than by the perusal of fifty lines thus facilitated 
by special indexes or ordos." 

* " ft is strange that masters should teach children so 
early, Tally's Epistles, or Orations, or the poems of Ovid or 
Virgil, whose sense is oftentimes difficult to find, because of 
the great transposition of the words ; and when they have 
found the grammatical sense, they have very little use of it, 
because they have scarce any notion of the ideas and design 
of the writ r, it being so remote from the knowledge of a 
child ; whereas little common stories and colloquies, and the 
rules of a child's behaviour, and such obvious subjects, will 
much better assist the memory of the words by their ac 4 u alli- 
ance with the things." Watt's Improvement of the Mind. 

f " It will also be necessary, for the student to procure 
■ priere's classical Dictionary. This work will throw great 



REFORMER. 1|5 

which are generally used about this time, he should 
have commenced the amending of bad Latin, from 
Clarke's or Mair's Introduction.* The Commenta- 
ries of Caesar need no eulogy ; but I do not deem 
it proper that Ovid's works indiscriminately should 
be put into the hands of uninformed youth. His 
obscenities and indecencies will be apt to corrupt the 
youthful mind, and are, therefore, highly improper 
works for a foundation, on which to raise a superstruc- 
ture of true taste, and refined morals. During the time 
that the student is engaged in the perusal of those au- 
thors, I think, that it is indispensably necessary, that 
he continue the exercise of analysis. It cannot be too 
much impressed on his mind, that unless he is active 
in this part of his study, he never can become a good 
Latin scholar, and of course cannot relish the beauties 
of sentiment and of style, which are found in the pages 
of the classics. 

After the student has considerably progressed, in 
the works I have mentioned, and in the amendments 
of bad Latin, he may commence the Greek Grammar, 
confining his attention, at first, particularly to the de- 
clensions, and verbs, and exemplifying them by easy 
and familiar examples from the Greek Testament, 
Collectanea Graeca Minora,! select sentences from the 

light on the mythological and historical allusions which 
abound in every page of Ovid. Cellarius' maps too will af- 
ford him a correct idea of ancient Geography." 

Systematic Education, by Shepherd, Joyce & Carpenter. 

* I would by all means, advise the student to exercise 
himself in double translations, i. e. translating from the Latin 
into English, and from the English into Latis. 

f I cannot here omit the inserting of the observations of 
the Rev. Shepherd, Joyce 3 and Carpenter, on the merits of 



115 REFORMER. 

pure and elegant Greek of Xenophon and Ludi&n. 
The scholar having made himself pretty well ac- 
quainted with these authors, the teacher may at this 
time, if he deem it expedient, put Huntingford's 

WELL COMPILED INTRODUCTION TO THE WRITING OF 

Greek into his hands. Thence he may pass to Mr. 



Mr. Dalzel's Collectanea Grxca Minora and Majora. In the 
joint production of these gentlemen, there are many excel- 
lent ideas upon the proper manner of studying the Latin, 
Greek, and English languages ; the mathematics, &c. Had 
I have seen the work in time, I should have availed myself 
of some of their sentiments to confirm mine in some of my 
other essays ; but I was not so fortunate as to obtain it, un- 
til a great part of my labours were printed. 

" When the student (say they) has thoroughly drilled him- 
self in the Greek grammar, he may proceed to the study of 
Dalzel's Collectanea Grxca Minora ; a work of modest pre- 
tensions, but of transcendent merit, whose author possessed 
the rarely united accomplishments of profound erudition, and 
a happy faculty and benevolent desire of communicating in- 
struction. Though qualified to expatiate in the widest field 
of Grecian literature, he condescended to sympathize with 
the tyro — he felt his difficulties, he perceived the obstruc- 
tions that stop his progress, and skilfully and satisfactorily 
removed them. His diligent fidelity, and his careful minute- 
ness of explanation, are beyond all praise, When to all these 
recommendations is superadded the elegance of his selection 
from the purest Greek authors, v/e may congratulate the stu- 
dent on the occurrence of an introductory book of such su- 
periour excellence. The index subjoined to this volume su- 
persedes the use of a Lexicon. 

" Whether the tyro wishes to pursue his studies by the 
perusal of prose or verse, he is happy in the further assist- 
ance of Mr. D:tlzel. In that gentleman's two volumes, en- 
titled Collectanea Grxca Majora, he will find a treasure of 
explanatory notes, in which lite peculiarities of the Greek 
idiom are accurately developed. 

" In the use of prose Collectanea, it will be adviseable to 
adopt the plan suggested by the editor in his preface, viz. to 
begin with the extracts from easier authors, such as Xeno- 
phon, and JEtian, and afterwards to make trial of Herodotus, 
Polyaenus, and Thucydides; and last of all, to peruse the 
passages selected from the philosophers, orators, and critics. 



REFORMER. H7 

DalzePs Collectanea Graeca Majora, Xenophon, De- 
mosthenes, Homer, Virgil, Cicero's orations, and his 
golden treatises De Amicitia and De Senectute. 
The tutor or student may vary this order, as his judg- 
ment may direct, I only offer it as my opinion that an 
order such as I have suggested would not be found 



" Till he has formed a tolerably familiar acquaintance with 
the Greek radicals, he will find Hedericus' Lexicon the best 
adapted to the exigencies of the general study of Greek au- 
thors. In process of time, he will derive more pleasure, as 
well as profit, from the philosophic arrangement of Scapula. 

" When he has read the historical extracts from Xenophon ; 
he may, by way of variety, apply himself to the study of the 
poetic Collectanea. This elaborate work is introduced by 
extensive extracts from Homer's Odyssey. The diligent pe- 
rusal of these extracts will, with the assistance of Mr. DaU 
zel's copious annotations, give him a very competent ac- 
quaintance with Homer's style. The constant consultation of 
the Iabella Dialectorum, in the Eton Grammar, will soon famil- 
iarize him to the variations from the standard, that is, the 
Attic dialect, which perpetually occur in the works of the 
mighty master of epic song. 

" When he has carefully studied the extracts from the 
Odyssey, he will be well qualified, and, in all probability, in- 
clined to read the Iliad. The Lexicon of Schrevelius wa3 
drawn up with a particular reference to this work : and to 
the unassisted reader of Homer, this manual will frequently 
be found of great service. The most convenient edition of 
the Iliad is Keynes', two vols. 8vo. Many of Clarke's notes 
are very instructive, but the dangerous allurement of a Latin 
translation, renders his edition a very ineligible book for a 
tyro. 

<{ During the perusal of the Iliad, however, considerable 
portions of DalzePs two volumes of Collectanea Grseca Ma- 
jora, should be daily read. These books, the Greek student 
may be earnestly exhorted. 

"Nocturna versare manu, versare diurna." 

" When the first volume has been thoroughly digested, the 
student will be able with ease and pleasure to read Xeno- 
phon's Anabisis. The most useful edition of this interesting 
work is that printed at Oxford, in 1788, in octavo. In the 
notes, and especially in the Index Graecitatis, they, who are 
yet inexpert in the Greek tongue, will find many difficulties 



118 REFORMER. 

improper. The students will now be capable to pros- 
ecute their studies without literal or any kind of trans- 
lations, which destroy the vigour of the mind, " which 
were first introduced by the phrenzy of innovation, and 
have been since continued by ignorance, disingenuity 
and prejudice." 

When the -pupils commence the reading of Virgil, 
Horace, Livy, Sec. it is necessary, that they should 
be made acquainted with the merits of the ancients, 
their excellencies, which ought to be imitated, their 
defects, which ought to be avoided ; and where de- 
ficiencies might have been supplied. 

It is now high time for them to commence Latin 
and Greek Prosodies,* the knowledge of which may 

elucidated, and many uncommon senses of words and pecu- 
liarities of phrase satisfactorily explained- 

"During the whole of the course of reading which. has. 
been delineated, it is indispensably requisite that the student 
should daily exercise himself in parsing. Inattention to this 
exercise will be ruinous in its consequences. The method 
of double translation recommended in the study of the Latin 
tongue, may with advantage be practised in the study of 
Grecian literature. Bos's Ellipsis Grsecx, and Vigerus de 
Idiotismis, should be always at hand, as they exemplify and 
interpret a vast variety of instances of difficult phraseology. 

" It is presumed that this course of introductory study will 
qualify the scholar to extend, in almost any direction, his 
researches into Grecian literature." 

* " The prosody," observe the authors of " Systematic Ed- 
ucation," " contained in Owen's grammar is compendious 
and satisfactory, but that contained in Vulply's Latin gram- 
mar is still more. By committing the latter to memory, and 
applying its rules to Virgil's verses, he will, in process of timf t 
be able to read Latin verse correctly. In order to assist his 
more early pronunciation, the Gradus ad Parnassum, or La- 
ble's Catholici Indices Erudite Pronunciationis, will be found 
of signal benefit." 

Peter Wilson, L. L. D. professor of the Latin and Greek 
languages in Columbia College, has written a treatise on the 
Greek prosody. Though not altogether free from defects. \ c t 



REFORMER- 119 

be acquired by diligence and perseverance in a few 
months. Without an acquaintance with the rules of 
Latin and Greek versification, it is impossible to per- 
ceive the beauty of these elegant languages. Any ig- 
norance in this respect, in one, who professes a famil- 
iarity with the Ancients, is wholly unpardonable, and 
ought to render him totally unfit to superintend a clas- 
sical seminary. 

After this, I would recommend, that Virgil, Horace, 
Homer, Pindar, Anacreon, and other ancient Poet* 
should be attentively perused by the learners until they 
become active in scanning, and accounting for the rules 
■of quantity. Transposed Latin and Greek verses should 
then be given them, " to be reduced to their former 
poetical order." Such exercises, would for the present, . 
answer equally as well as the making of nonsense 
verses.* Indeed I do not altogether approve of this; 

itls far superiour to the generality of those which have been 
used in our classical seminaries. As we have been much in 
want of a good treatise on this subject, and as Dr. Wilson's 
is used in Columbia College, and many of our most eminent 
classical grammar schools, I recommend it, as worthy of at- 
tentive perusal, to those young gentlemen who are desirous of 
obtaining a knowledge of Greek prosody. — If I am not mis- 
taken, he has also written a treatise on the different meas- 
ures of Latin verse. 

* " But, says a writer, for him (the master) to oblige his 
pupils to versify, whether they have any taste for it or not, 
merely because they read the poets, every unprejudiced 
reader will surely agree with me, is a miserable abuse of 
their valuable time, and an incontestible proof of his want of 
judgment ie this particular. 

If I have the authority of Cicero against me upon this 
point, whom we find settling quantities and measuring words, 
with a degree of pedantry unwor;hy of so great an orator, 
J can produce the name of Addison and others, who thought 
it highly wrong for boys to be employed in the arts of versi- 
fication, if they did not discover any marks of the genius of* 
true poet." 



120 REFORMER. 

the talents of the scholar must be well consulted. 
Yet I will here observe, that when they enter upon 
the writing of nonsense verses, it may be useful at 
the commencement to permit them the use of a Gra- 
cilis ad Parnassum and of MoreWs Thesaurus Graces 
Poeseos. This observation is, however, limited. — . 
" These books will not relax his efforts ; and we should 
always avoid, but more especially in the introductory 
parts of literature, the equally dangerous extremes of 
favouring indolence, and leaving genius to struggle 
with unnecessary difficulties." 

By this time, the students will have attained to a 
considerable knowledge of the Latin and Greek wri- 
ters, whence it now becomes necessary to regulate 
their studies, not only with an intention to render them 
more familiarly acquainted with the construction of the 
sentences and idioms peculiar to those languages, " but 
to methodize and discriminate ideas ; to arrange in 
proper order the materials of knowledge, and to form 
their taste for composition. The attainments of these 
important ends will be greatly facilitated by reading the 
classics in the following order." 

Fables. In Greek, those which are ascribed to 
JEsofi, and in Latin, the elegant compositions of Phx- 
drus. Pastorals. In Greek, the idyls of Bion, Mos- 
chus, Theocritus : In Latin, the Bucolics of Virgil. — 
Epic Poetry. In Greek, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey : 
In Latin, Virgil's Mneid. Lyric and Elegiac Po- 
etry. In Greek, Anacreon and Pindar : In Latin, 
the odes and epodes of Horace, and the common se- 
lections from Ovid and Tibullus. Tragedy and Com- 
edy. In Greek, Euripides, Sophocles, JEschyluss, 



REFORMER. £21 

grid Aristojihanes : In Latin, Plqutus, and Terence. 
Didactic Poetry. In Greek, Hesiod : In Latin, 
Horace's Satires, Epistles and art of Poetry : the 
Georgics of Virgil : the Satires of Juvenal and Per- 
sius: the philosophical Poem of Lucretius. Episto- 
lary Writing. In Greek, no beautiful collections 
of this kind remain : but, in Latin, the Epistles of 
Cicero and Pliny. Biography and History. In 
Greek, Thucydides, Xenofihon, Herodotus, and Plu- 
tarch : In Latin, Cesar, Cornelius JVefios, Sallust, 
Livy and Tacitus. Philosophy, Oratory and Crit- 
icism. In Greek, Plato, Lysias, Demosthenes, Is a- 
crates and Longinus : In Latin, Cicero, and Quintil- 
Han.* 

" In this course of reading, the principles of Poetry 
will be naturally unfolded : the distinctive excellencies 
of the most celebrated Latin and Greek authors point- 
ed out, and contrasted with critical nicety ; the young 
student's emulation roused, and all his native powers of ' 
genius called forth, exercised, invigorated, and expand- 
ed to the utmost stretch of possible perfection, by fre- 
quent attempts, not only to transfuse into English ver- 
sions the spirit of those divine writers with undimin- 
ished grace and energy ; but also to exhibit, in imita- 
tive essays, their most striking beauties, re-produced, 
as it were, with a nobler intermixture of rival origin- 
ality." 

In the collected wisdom of the ancient ages, is every- 
thing great and glorious, and by a careful imitation of 
their most glowing beauties, their genuine spirit has 

* I' am indebted to Mr. Milns for the above arrangement 
-of books, as also for several ideas contained in this essay. 



122 REFORMER. 

been transfused into several of our modern writers. — 
The genius of Homer wings its lofty flight in Milton ; 
of the Mantuan and Venusian bards in Dryden and 
Pope ; of Sophocles, iEschylus, Plautus and Terence 
in the immortal Shakespeare ; of the martyr Socrates 
in Addison ; of the divine Plato in Bacon ; of Aristotle 
in Lock, Reid, Stuart, Beattie, and Campbell ; of Livy 
and Sallust ha Hume ; of Cicero and Demosthenes in 
Pitt and Burk. And shall we, then, after such lumi- 
naries in Literature have been produced by their means, 
reject the study of these great originals, because a few 
hot headed innovators and superficial Latinists, igno- 
rant of their beauties, and incapable of tasting their 
luscious sweets, condemn classic lore as useless ? I 
hope not. But, may this, and succeeding generations, 
emulous to rival their great masters,* cacch the celes- 
tial flame, and prove to after ages, that they have not 
lived in vain. 



* The commonwealths of Greece, while they maintained 
their liberty, were the most heroic confederacy, that ever ex- 
isted. They were the politest, the bravest, and the wisest 
of men. In the short space of a little more than a century, 
they became such statesmen, warriors, orators, historians, 
physicians, poets, critics, painters, sculptors, architects, and 
last of all philosophers, that one can hardly help considering 
that golden period as a providential event in honour of human 
nature, to show to what perfection they might ascend. 

Harris's Hermes. 



REFORMER. 123 

ON FExVIALE EDUCATION. 

Corporum nutrices, animarum novercse. Tam stulte filias 
diligimus, ut odisse potius videamur. Corporis cura mentem 
obruerunt. Cardanus and Quintillian. 

Fond nurses of the body are mothers-in-law to the mind. — 
We love our daughters so foolishly, that it looks as if we 
hated them. By too much care of the body, they have over- 
whelmed the mind. 

Tunc, cum ad canitiem — tunc, tunc, ignsscere— 
Nolo. Persius, Sat t 1. 

What ? when the hair is absolutely grey with years, do you 
ask me to overlook such folly ? No, no, no. 

Females being possessed of rational souls as well 
as men, equally as great care should be bestowed up- 
on the culture of their understanding as upon men's. 
I do not mean, that the same kind of education should 
be given to women as to men ; but that the education 
which they do receive should be of a sound and whole- 
some nature, and correspondent to the situations which 
they are to fill in life. 

The processes generally practised at present, are 
not calculated to strengthen their mental powers : but 
rather to enervate them, and to render them, in a 
great measure, incapable of attending to domestic af- 
fairs. The intellectual functions of the females are 
wrapped in a perpetual cloud of darkness, because the 
opinion is too firmly established, that women do not 
need solid understandings. And, indeed, the confir- 
mation of this doctrine, strange as it is, appears, when 



1^4 REFORMER. 

parents instead of endeavouring to dissolve the vapour 
©f mental darkness, which rests upon their offspring, 
are contented to entrust them to the instruction of 
others, in the early stages of their life, without exam- 
ining their moral characters, or consulting the modes 
of education which they pursue. The injurious effects 
of this practice may be best seen by noticing the bring- 
ing up of youth in the decline of the Romans, when 
they had lost their virtues, together with the liberties 
of the ancient republic, and these generous cares, with 
every other rational and laudable attention, gave way 
to the fashionable dissipations of those degenerate 
days.* 

u The little child was then consigned to the care of 
some paltry Greek female, in conjunction with two or 
three other ignorant and vicious domestics, equally un- 
qualified and ill disposed for the important office of tu- 
ition. From the idle tales and gross manners of this 
low and illiberal tribe, the soft and ductile mind was 
suffered to receive its earliest and deepest impressions. 
The parents themselves, indeed, far from training 
their young families in the principles of virtue and 
knowledge, were the first to lead them by their own 
encouragement and example into the most luxurious 
indulgences and most unprincipled licentiousness of 
manners. A passion for horse racing, theatrical amase- 
uzcntS) and gladiatorial shows, was sown in them, be- 
fore their birth : and when the seeds of these contemp- 
tible and unmanly pleasures have early taken root in 
the heart, they necessarily over-run and destroy every 
affection of nobler growth." 

* Cicero I)e Senectute. De oratore. W. Mer- 



REFORMER. 125 

That this picture of degenerate Rome bears some 
resemblance to our times cannot be denied. The same 
spirit for balls, theatrical amusements, low nurses, and 
servile talents- and morals, exists at present, and pa- 
rents themselves not only indulge their children in vis- 
iting these places,* but even lead the example. 

Cereus in vitium necti f Horace. 

It is common among parents in tolerable circumstan- 
ces, after their daughters are let loose from the nur- 
sery, as it is called, to send them to some school, at a 
distance from parental care, and even to continue them 
there, after a certain age, provided that the said school 
be noted, by report, for the superiority of its tutors, in 
teaching dancing, music, painting, Sec. while they pay 
little or no attention to the means by which their ex- 
panding minds should be imbued with the sound prin- 
ciples of morality and religion, the best and most cer- 
tain protectors of female virtue. Indeed, we are suffi- 
ciently taught by experience, that by these, they may, 
in general, defend themselves against infidel opinions, 
and the wiles of the circumspective seducer, when no 
other weapons are near at hand, or can be of any avail. 
For it is almost universally to be observed, that the 
first step taken by these villainous characters, to un- 
hinge female chastity, is to undermine their religious 

* Nan est, non, mihi credite, tantum ab hostibus armatis 
selati nostra periculum, quantum ab circumfusis undique 
voluptatibus. Livy. 

There is not, believe me, there is not so much danger to a 
youth from a host of armed enemies, as there is from the al- 
lurements of pleasure, which every where surround them. 

\ Yielding- as wax to vice. 

L 2 



126 - REFORMER. 

and moral principles. If, therefore, these first of all 
earthly concerns be but slightly impressed upon their 
minds, they will, perhaps, with difficulty, escape the 
snare which has been so artfVHy laid for them: they 
will become the most abject and miserable wretches, 
through the remaining part of their lives, and, at last 
become tenants of those doleful regions of misery, 
where hope never comes, and where anguish and de- 
spair abide for ever. Upon thfcir first being betrayed 
to leave the paths of virtue, they, for a short time, fol- 
low the deluding Syren's voice, who speaks but to be- 
tray, and allures but to render wretched. The least 
deviation from the path of virtue, however, will sure- 
ly, -at no distant period, carry along with it, its own 
punishment. 

I have never been able to answer the objections rais- 
ed by many, against the improvement of the mental 
powers of females ; but on the contrary have found ma- 
ny advantages derivable from it to society, in general. 
One of the strongest arguments for women's being 
well educated, is, that it enables them to superintend 
the education of their daughters in the early periods of 
their existence, when the mind is so susceptible of 
wrong or right notions. The care of infants falls to the 
mothers, unless they are incapable from constitutional 
infirmity of attending to the management of their dar- 
ling pledges. If therefore the maternal conversation and 
manners be not of a salutary nature, the infantile mind 
will feel their baneful effects, and as it increases in 
years, they will become more firmly rooted, till finally 
/ become almost incapable of being erased. On 



*E FORMER. l%f 

the contrary, children educated by mothers* of solid 
understandings, who approve of internal worth more 
than of external accomplishments, have generally turn- 
ed out useful members of society, and ornaments to 
themselves and guardians. If they have not in mod- 
ern, they did in ancient times, and I think were the 
example of some of the Roman matrons f to be imita- 
ted, we should not so often be vexed with an illiterate 
and fretful wife, and depraved and ignorant childrem 

The end of education, many parents think, consists 
exclusively in ornamental accomplishments, and the 
adorning of their daughter's bodies. Weakness of in- 
tellect and habits of persevering ignorance prevent them 
from seeing the fatal influence which these fripperies 
of folly have upon the female mind. They do not re- 
flect, that they are more apt, from their limited edu- 

* Some ladies may be of opinion, that I assign them a task 
rather too humble, when I urge the propriety of their educa- 
ting their little ones in the first period. I can only say, that 
I am justified in my advice by the example of the greatest 
writers, and the best women of antiquity. And I 
will ask, whether the important business of dressing and 
going to public places, will be so satisfactory a few year3 
hence, as the consciousness of having sown the seeds of vir- 
tue, taste and learning, in the infant bosom of their own off- 
spring. Dr. Knox, Lib. Education. 

\ Jamprimum films ex casta parente natus, non in cella 
emptce uutricis educabatur, sed in gremio ac sinumatris, cujus 

prsecipua laus erat, tueri domum et inservire liberis Sic 

Corneliam, Gracchorum, Aureliam, Julii Caesaris, sic Attiam, 
Augusti matrem, prxfuisse educationibus liberorum accepi- 
mus. 

As soon as a son was born of a chaste parent, he was not 
brought up in the cottage of some hireling nurse, but in the 
lap and bosom of his mother, whose principal merit was to 
take care of the house, and to devote herself to the service 

of the children.. Thus are we told, Cornelia, the mother of 

the Gracchi, thus Aurelia, of Julius Caesar, thus Attia, of Au- 
gustus, presided over the education of their children, 



|23 REFORMER. 

cation, and their flattered beauty to dive deeper into 
folly than the male sex, and that this increases with 
their years, till they become the objects of merited 
contempt. The whole tenour of their instruction re- 
commended by parents, and often by instructors, tends 
to render young females ridiculous and illiterate. A 
mind weakened by parental and preceptorial caprice 
cannot excite much respect or attention. Creatures 
who value themselves upon their form, and who have 
no other ambition, but to . make a handsome appear- 
ance, must possess a very shallow understanding, and 
cannot scarcely deserve to be ranked among rational 
beings. 
* If parents desire, that their daughters should nil a 
respectable place in society, it is necessary, in the first 
place, to give them a correct knowledge of the true re- 
ligion and the moral duties, to furnish their minds with 
sound and practical information, to excite a relish for 
reading, from which they will reap more exquisite de- 
light, than in viewing the fantastic ornaments of the 
body. To these, let there be added, a knowledge of 
numbers, of orthography and English Grammar, that 
they may not expose themselves to the ridicule of 
those, with whom they hold a correspondence ; an 
acquaintance with Geography, History and Biography, 
or their conversation will be extremely limited. And 
whoever has the misfortune to get a partner for life, 
without some acquaintance with these accomplish- 
ments, will consume many an hour with her in repi- 
ning discontent ; pointing out her foibles and imper- 
fections, when compared with the elegant and useful 
attainments of those who are her superiours in virtue 



and information ; and descanting with acrimony upon 
her deficiencies, in those qualifications which mark a 
splendid and refined mind.* 

But how, it may be asked, can these unfortunate fe- 
males, whose moral and religious education has been 
neglected, in their younger years, spend their vacant 
hours ? The answer is in scandal : for to this abomina- 
ble vice, those persons in general resort, who are in- 
capable of conversing upon any rational subject, of 
receiving amusement or instruction from books, or of 
instructing persons of inferiour understanding. 

Plays, romances, love-verses and cards are the com- 
plete ruin of young girls. For, if they find any enter- 
tainment in them, they must unavoidably give their 
mind a cast, which can never be suitable to the useful 
part of a female character, which is wholly domestic. 
For, whatever the fine ladies of our age may think of 
the matter, it is certain that the only rational ambition 
which they can have, must be to make obedient daugh- 
ters, loving wives, prudent mothers and mistresses of 
families, faithful friends and good christians ; charac- 
ters much more valuable than those of skilful game- 
sters, fine dancers, singers, or dressers, or even than 
sculptors or painters.f 

| Many evil effects attend the preposterous practice 
©f parents' putting novels and romances in the hands 

* '* It is, I think, impossible, that they who are engaged in 
little and mean actions can entertain great and manly senti- 
ments ; as on the other hand, they who are conversant in hon- 
ourable and splendid employments, cannot think in a little 
and low manner." Demosthenes. 

f Burgh's Dignity of Human Nature. 

t I have known many parents to put novels and romances, 
. indiscriminately, . into the hands of their children, before- the 



130 REFORMER. 

of their daughters. Their contents have the most 
powerful influence upon their minds. Indeed, nothing 
less, in general, than the highest degree of affectation, 
follows a pretty close perusal of them, exclusive of 
many other evils, of Which they are so frequently pro- 
ductive. They vitiate the taste : hence the beauties of 
the most elegant and profound authors pass unnoticed. 
Indeed, we cannot reasonably suppose, that those, who 
spend their time in the perusal of such trash, can 
have imbibed that elegance of mind, which almost in- 
evitably results from an attentive perusal of the Eng- 
lish classics. These may be considered as fountains 
of sublimity and grandeur, and will, to persons of taste 
and judgment, afford far more interest than the fungus 
growth of all the novels and romances, which were 
ever written : for these last, instead of promoting the 
progress of the human intellect, overthrow the empire 
of reason and render the fairest form loathsome and 
disgusting. 

It is well known, that internal elegance adds beauty 
to external grace. " I believe it will also be favour- 
able to virtue, and will operate greatly in restraining 
from any conduct grossly indelicate and obviously im- 
proper. Much of the profligacy of female manners 
has proceeded from a levity, occasioned by the want 
of a proper education. They who have no taste for 
well written books, will often be at a loss how to spend 
their time ;* and the consequences of such a state are 



sacred volume. The consequences were, that their taste was 

vitiated, their judgments weakened, and it afterwards become 

almost impossible to restrain their immoderate desire for them. 

* " How happy is it to know how to live with ones self, 



REFORMER. 131 

too frequent, not to be known, and too fatal not to be 
dreaded. 

The present usual modes of education being produc- 
tive of nothing which can make life pass more pleasant- 
ly away, I would advise, that if parents feel disposed 
to render their daughters happy, as well as useful 
members of society, they would endeavour to bestow 
upon them, such qualifications, as will add vigour to 
life, and make them good mothers and mistresses of 
families, so that when the empire of beauty and youth 
is lost, when the youthful passions for the amusements 
of folly have subsided, and when graver things claim 
their attention, they may still find pleasure from inter- 
nal sources. Learning and good sense, are more at- 
tractive than beauty with ail her charms. For this fair 
flower will, in time, decay, while- the former instead 
of decreasing, increases by the rapid flight of years. 

Nothing (says Fordyce) can fix esteem, but that 
kind of beauty, which depends on the splendour of a 
virtuous and enlightened mind. The least degree of 
understanding will be disgusted at petulance, caprice 
or nonsense, even in the fairest form. External ac- 
complishments are continually losing ; internal attrac- 
tions are continually gaining. A beautiful character 
is, as the morning light, that shineth more and more 
unto the perfect day. Sense, spirit, sweetness, are 
immortal. All besides withers like grass. The pow- 
er of a face to please is diminished every time it is 
seen. When beauty of looks loses its power to please 

to leave ones self with regret, to find ones self again with 
pleasure ! The world is less necessary to one." 

Marchioness De Lambert. 



) 

£32 REFORMER. 

(and this will as inevitably follow, as the night follows 
the day) the soul will seek a soul ; it will refuse to be 
satisfied with any thing else. If it find none, in vain 
shall the softest eye sparkle, in vain shall the softest 
eye entice. But if a mind appear, and wherever it re- 
sides, a mind will appear, it is recognized, admirejd 
and embraced ; even though the eye possess no lus- 
tre, and smiles, at the moment, be banished by sor- 
row. 

Mind, mind alone, bear witness earth and heaven ! 

This luring- fountain in itself contains 

The beauteous and sublime ! Here hand in hand 

Sit paramount the graces. JUcensitte. 



REFORMER. 133 

ON SCHOLASTIC EXAMINATIONS. 



■Stimulos dedit <emula virtus ; 



Nee quemquam jam ferre potest Cjesarve priorem 
Pompeiusve parem." Lucan. 

'Twas emulative virtue spurr'd them on ; Caesar no longer 
% superiour brooks, and Pompey scorns a rival. 

" The fabric of the human mind (says Di\ Reid) is 
curious and wonderful, as well as that of the human 
body. The faculties of the one are with no less wis-, 
dom adapted to their several ends, than the organs of 
the other. Nay it is reasonable to think, that as the 
mind is a nobler work, and of a higher order, than the 
body, even more of the wisdom and skill of the Divine 
Architect hath been employed in its structure. It is, 
therefore, a subject highly worthy, on its own account ; 
but still more worthy on account of the extensive in- 
fluence, which the knowledge of it hath over every 
other branch of science." 

Rejecting, as Dr. Reid does, the various and con- 
tending hypotheses of philosophical writers on the anal- 
ysis of the human mind, I deem it worthy of notice, 
that as a proper acquaintance with the powers of the 
mind is deserving of the greatest attention, as it is the 
sole director of intellectual exertions, and as literary 
eminence depends upon it alone, so it is of the great- 
est importance, that its bent should be given a right 
turn, and never suffered to sink into indifference or 
iounge on the couch of corroding inactivity ; but on 
M 



134 REFORMER. 

the contrary, that every means should be used which 
will tend to put its powers in operation. To which I 
would add, that without a strict adherence to the dic- 
tates of religion, the emanations of an expanded mind, 
will disturb the possessors' intermundane happiness, 
corrupt the morals of the present generation, and ex- 
tend their destructive influence to ages yet unborn. 

By introducing public and critical examinations in 
our initiatory schools, much benefit would result, pro- 
vided they were conducted in a proper manner. It i9 
to be regretted, however, that as they are managed, at 
present, examinations, instead of answering a salutary 
purpose, are too often productive of consequences di- " 
rectly the reverse : instead of exciting a spirit of em- 
ulation among the pupils, they have a very strong ten- 
dency to encourage inattention and sloth, and have, in 
most of those seminaries, where they have been and 
are practised, degenerated into a mere farce. 

Assertions so strong may, at first sight, appear to 
be harsh and illiberal : but a little reflection will sat- 
isfy those, who choose to take the subject into consid- 
eration, that they are not more severe than just. The 
truth is, the promptitude and accuracy, with which 
children, in general, answer the questions proposed to 
them by their teachers, on these occasions (although 
highly gratifying to many unthinking relatives, and 
others, who may be auditors) is so far from affording 
a proof either of the preceptor's industry, or the pu- 
pil's progress, that it ought to be considered as the ] 
most palpable evidence of the most gross deception j 
being practised by the former ; and the latter, though | 
taught to make a great 9 How in regard to the task as- 



REFORMER. 135 

signed him, is in reality entirely defective, as it re- 
spects substance. 

To elucidate the justice of these remarks, it is only 
necessary to advert to the following particulars. A 
teacher concludes, that it will he for his interest to 
have a fiublic examination ; and in order that the same 
may be conducted with all possible eclat, he, with great 
solemnity, announces to his pupils, the period at which 
it is intended to take place, at least several weeks pre- 
vious thereto. To each class, a particular task is now 
assigned, and on this, they are exclusively exercised 
till the time of their public appearance. The ques- 
tions, which, for so long a time, had been daily propo- 
sed to them are then repeated, and as might naturally 
be expected, their answers are not only accurate ; but 
delivered without hesitation. The children are consid- 
ered as uncommonly promising, whUe the ivily teach- 
er is extolled as one of the most industrious and sue-* 
cessful in the line of his profession. 

But whilst this, or any similar mode of public exam- 
inations, cannot be too severely reprobated, it is read- 
ily admitted, that when properly conducted, they may 
be made highly subservient to the cause of education. 
Let children, instead of wasting their time in learning 
by rote, the answers, which they shall give to a few 
questions prepared for the purpose, be taught to di- 
rect their attention to the acquisition of a general 
knowledge, in the branches which they may have been 
sent to acquire : and on the day of examination, let 
them be questioned at large upon those branches ; not 
only by their preceptor ; but also, by such other intel- 
ligent gentlemen as may be present. By proceeding 



136 REFORMER. 

in this manner, as the assidious part of a school cannot 
fail to distinguish themselves, they will certainly be 
honoured with that applause, to which, from their ex- 
ertions, they are so justly entitled; while, on the other 
hand, the slothful and negligent being made fully sen- 
sible of their inferiority, will, in general, exert their 
utmost endeavours to attain a more solid knowledge in 
their respective studies, previous to another examina- 
tion. 

To excite emulation is to secure improvement ; but 
all unjust means to obtain the ascendency, or palm of 
praise, should be discountenanced. This emulation 
will not terminate in bitter enmity, as canting moral- 
ists say, if suitable methods be adapted, at first. By 
pointing out the evil effects arising from this detest- 
able passion, the minds of ingenuous youth will be 
kept unpolluted. Let those, however who adhere to 
•this sentiment remember, that this enmity, as they call 
it, gave rise to the most illustrious actions and pro- 
found writers in Greece and Rome, England, France, 
and other countries. The exploits of Hercules fired 
the breast of Theseus; the trophies of Miltiades stim- 
ulated Thucydides to compose his immortal work. 
And let them also remember, that this has urged them 
on to the possession of the greater part of their lite- 
rary attainments, to snatch the laurel from the brow 
of those writers, whose works have registered their 
names in the records of immortality. 

Though emulation, as the source of envy, has been 
the cry of moralizers in every age ; yet many men of 
as much philanthropy, and of as liberal understandings 
as they, — men, who are proficients in the arts and sci 



REFORMER. 137 

enees, have held forth rewards to allure merit from 
obscurity, and have frequently in the end, seen their 
wished for object accomplished. Such is the consti- 
tution of man, that unless he has something in view, 
some hopes of obtaining a recompense for his labours, 
the love of idleness and listliness so congenial with his 
nature, will gain the ascendancy over his active and 
reasoning faculties, and fetter him down in gothic ig- 
norance. The love of fame acts as a powerful incen- 
tive upon every mortal. " Rivalry and competition add 
a potent spur to the minds of men, and are particular- 
ly efficacious among candidates for public distinction ;" 
nor do they often fail of leading forth the sons of ge- 
nius to the temple of fame, who, had no competition 
existed, might have languished for a while, and then 
sunk unheeded and unknown to the public, into the 
abyss of oblivion. 

Ut ssepe summa ingenia in occulto latent.* Plant. 

A certainty of obtaining a reward at examinations, 
which almost every scholar entertains, throws down 
every barrier which obstructs his progress. Here 
then are hopes of improvement. He is gaining 
knowledge of which nothing but disease or death can 
deprive him ; he has obtained the habit of study and 
close investigation which, in the end, will remunerate 
him for his labour, by keeping him from idleness, and 
restraining those vicious propensities, in which, if he 
be permitted to indulge, little solid improvement in 
literature or morals can be expected. 

f How oft the greatest genius lies concealed. 

M.2. 



138 REFORMER. 

Scholars, who have arrived at an eminent degree of 
excellence, have generally been actuated by the pow- 
erful influence of emulation. It is this noble passion 
which infuses into every breast the hopes of being ex- 
alted in the opinion of the world, and which if proper- 
ly managed, will not fail of making them patterns' of 
learning and virtue, and worthy patriots, dear to God 
and beloved by all good men. 

" After the important point is gained, of making the 
pupil feel the love of letters, and an ambition for lite- 
rary fame, improvement is secured. He will make 
his own way even under disadvantages ; but with en- 
couragements, assistancies and opportunities, he can 
scarcely fail of arriving, at what few reach, distinguish- 
ed excellence." 

Perhaps, the best way of rousing the spirit of dis- 
tinction is to exhibit children occasionally to their pa- 
rents, guardians, relations and friends. To gain the 
applause of the audience, they must be well prepared, 
which cannot be done unless they have previously ex- 
erted themselves in the acquisition of knowledge.— 
And though, perhaps the performance of few, may at 
first be deserving of encomium, yet, in the end, it will 
be found, that the temper of rivalry is excited, and 
that the desire of public distinction has seized upon 
others: for, as Dr. Johnson observes, " they who would 
probably rest in a lower degree of excellence, where 
they have no rivals, will be urged by their impatience 
of inferiority to incessant endeavours after great attain- 
ments." To which the samewriter adds, " these stim- 
ulations of honest competition are, perhaps, the chief 



REFORMER. 139 

effects of academies and societies ; for whatever be the 
bulk of their joint labours, every single performance 
is always the production of. an individual, that owes 
nothing to his colleagues, but the contagion of dili- 
gence, a resolution to write, because the rest are wri- 
ting, and the scorn of obscurity while the rest are il- 
lustrious. " 

I shall conclude this essay with a few remarks from 
Dr. Knox's writings on examinations. " Periodical 
examinations," (says he) " at short intervals, will 
cause the mind to retain what it receives.* The mind 
is prone to indolence, and will suffer that to escape, 
which no immediate hopes or fears induce it to pre- 
serve. But when it foresees the certainty of a strict 
inquiry into its acquisitions, it will not only retain 
much, which it would otherwise lose, but will retain 
it with accuracy. Periodical examinations wijl also 
furnish occasion for the display of excellence, and will 
consequently excite a desire to make a good appear- 
ance. Praises, rewards and punishments, bestowed in 
a serious manner, on a solemn occasion, in the sight 
©f the whole school, will have a better effect than when 
given separately, and in private." 

" By being accustomed to give unpremeditated re- 
sponses to unexpected interrogations, the mind will ac- 
quire those valuable habits, a quickness of recollection, 
and a readiness of reply." 

" So many, indeed, and so important are the bene- 
ficial effects of this practice, that I will for once most 

* This I am happy to state, actually takes place in some 
of our best seminaries every few weeks, and one general 
©ne, annually, at which the parents and friends are present, 



140 REFORMER. 

confidently recommend it to all, as securing and in- 
creasing improvement in every stage of the scholar's 
progress, and in every part of his pursuits, while un- 
der scholastic or academical authority." 

Qui cupit optatam cursu contingere naetam, 
Multa tulit fecit que puer. Hoi\ 

The youth, who hopes the Olympic prize to gain, 

All arts must try, and every toil sustain. 

Francis. 



REFORMER. 141 

ON RECOMMENDING MEN AS TEACHERS. 

** Salva res est ; philosophatur quoque jam ; 
Quod erat ei nomen ? Thesawrochrysonicochrysides," 
Plant. Captiv. A. 2, S. 2. 

"The matter is all safe ; he actually is setting up for a phi- 
losopher ; pray what is his name ? a strange one."* 

" Such is the power of insinuating flattery ; it steals away 
the understanding of the best and the wisest." 

Homer Trans. 

Scholastic institutions being formed for the good 
of society, it is self evident, that nothing useful can be 
elicited from them, unless they are superintended by 
qualified instructors. In all countries, where this has 
been the case, the benign rays of literature, have been 
diffused among the people, and been productive of in- 
numerable benefits. On the contrary, when ignorance 
and its train of consequences, were placed at the head 
of those places which are intended to enhance the dig- 
nity of human nature, the result has been, that the in- 
habitants were rendered extremely miserable, and were 
ready to bow to the mandates of a vicious and super- 
stitious race of nobles and kings. The present state of 
Turkey confirms this observation. In former times, 
when eloquence, poetry and philosophy were cultiva- 
ted, and the minds of her citizens consequently en- 
lightened, they were free, happy and illustrious. But 

* The name in the original Latin cannot be translated with 
any effect, as the word is compounded ludicrously. An ex- 
planation would serve no purpose whatever. P. of L. 



142 REFORMER. 

as soon as they were vanquished by the barbarians of 
the North, ignorance took her seat amidst scenes of 
splendour, and broke into pieces the fabric of freedom 
and happiness. Superstition followed as a necessary 
consequence, and the melancholy gloom of despotism, 
hovers over the country. Thus we see, that wherever 
ignorance prevails, the country is miserable ; wherev- 
er learning, happiness beams upon every countenance. 
Rome, through the medium of literature, which di- 
rected her generals in the field, and gave energy to 
the voice and councils of the Patres Conscripti, be- 
came the rival of Greece, not only in arms but in 
learning, as soon as she had burst the shackles of illit- 
eracy. She rose to the highest eminence, and spread 
a blaze of glory upon those nations which were wrap- 
ped in mental darkness, and continued thus, till a de- 
cadence in letters took place, and the minds of her 
sons were enervated by luxury, which exposed them 
to the inroads, and finally to the submission of the 
Huns and Vandals. 

That it should ever be denied, even by the most il- 
literate, that properly managed seminaries from which 
are derived the most substantial blessings, seems alto- 
gether incredible; yet this strange contradiction really 
appears to be the opinion of many of our countrymen. 
They do not in words deny their utility, yet by their 
actions consent to so great an absurdity." And what is 
indeed paradoxical, many of them without hesitation 
declare their extensive usefulness, but seem determin- 
ed, that their children shall pursue that way which is 
sure to lead to the grossest abuse of the intellectual 
powers. They who adhere to such inconsistency? may 



REFORMER. 143 

with great propriety apply the following beautiful and 
just expression of Ovid to their own conduct. 

u Videor meliora proboque, deteriora 
Sequor." 

Though we might expect such absurdity from 
the illiterate, yet many who make great pretensions 
to solidity of judgment, delicacy and correctness of 
taste, an acquaintance with the most classical au- 
thors both ancient and modern, and a knowledge of 
human nature, may be charged with the same self- 
contradiction. They are very charitable to a pre- 
ceptorial petitioner, and forgetting " the old adage, 
that charity begins at home," they without due exam- 
ination, entrust their offspring to any man, who can 
repeat the names of a few learned men, talk a little 
Latin and French, and produce the recommendations 
of men, who frequently recommend without knowing 
anything of him who has applied for their testimonials. 
This is a growing evil in the city of New-York, &c. 
and demands the unqualified disapprobation of every 
citizen, who is friendly to the cause of literature, the 
education of our youth and the stability of our country. 
On the state of learning in any nation, much of its 
happiness and durability depend. As long as she has 
men who are faithful, and capable of guiding govern- 
mental affairs, warriours to fight her battles, and 
orators and poets to rouse her youth to the defence 
of her liberties, so long will she be able to withstand 
the power of her enemies, and hurl despotism and ty- 
ranny from her shores. With men of learning and ge- 
nius, she can controul the destinies of nations. Cicero 



144 REFORMER. 

crushed a Catalinarian conspiracy by his eloquence, i 
u which flashed like the lightning of Heaven, blasting 
where it smote and withering the nerves of opposition I 
and corruption."* Pericles by his persuasive accents 
gained the Grecian throne. jEschines, bribed by the I 
Macedonian Philip, employed his voice to swell the I 
triumphs of the conqueror ; he won to a tyrant those i 
people, who had hung with delight upon the accents of j 
Demosthenes, whose animating and decisive counsels 
had upheld the fabric of Athenian freedom ; and whose I 
downfall crushed its supporter and defender in its ruins, l 
The bards of Erin kept alive the spirit of freedom ; ,. 
the songs of the muse roused Caledonia's sons to as- 
sert her rights ; the fire and enthusiasm of the inspired L 
bards of Cambria, kindled the dying embers of liberty 
in the bosom of her sons. Such indeed was the effect 
produced on the minds of those hardy mountaineers, j. 
by the song of the minstrel, that Edward of England j 
found it his interest, before he could subdue the sol- i 
diers of Wales, to doom to death every man whose i 
hand could sweep the chords of the shrill enrapturing 
lyre. 

Thus we see, in this slight view, the influential 
effects which literature has upon the inhabitants of a j 
country. Arising to such eminence as the ancient | 
Romans and Greeks did, there must have been ample j 
cause ; and that cause was their instructors, among 
whom we find a Plato, a Xenophon a Socrates, an Ar- 
istotle, a Pythagoras, a Thales, an Archimedes, and a 
Crates. These men enhanced their characters, not by j 
the talents of others, but by their own. They reject- ! 
* Gibbon's History. 



REFORMER. 145 

cd with indignation, the appellation of sophists or wise 
men, and the testimonials of public esteem, until they 
had done something to merit them. How great the 
dissimilarity between ancient and modern teachers ! 
Formerly, modesty and knowledge were the predom- 
inant characteristics of tutors ; now ignorance and pre- 
sumption. 

To recommend one man in preference to another, 
to endeavour to engage the public attention in favour 
of those who have never done any thing extraordinary, 
on any occasion, either in the senate, the pulpit, at the 
bench, or in the common concerns of life, is unjust to 
a very great degree, and still more unjust to recom- 
mend him who is wholly unknown. And here it may 
be observed, that they who are destitute of those high 
toned qualifications, which are essentially requisite in 
preceptors, are the ones who most frequently flatter 
men into measures to assist their own aggrandizement. 
Fearful of the inability of their own talents, they dare 
not trust to them to " raise a school." Their abilities 
however are sufficiently good to lay a snare to entrap 
the illiterate, and those who are fond of seeing their 
names in print, at the risk of their literary and moral 
characters. In recommending a man, every one be- 
lieves that they who publicly announce him, in every 
degree accomplished to superintend an office of im-" 
portance, must have been well acquainted with him, 
before they could form a proper estimate of his qual- 
ifications. If the public therefore are deceived in the 
person who has been pompously puffed by a long list 
of names, they will impeach the judgment of those who, 
hold up their friend as a pattern of perfection, despise 
N 



146 REFORMER. 

their principles, and abhor the man who has leagued 
with them to wheedle them out of their money, and 
their children out of their time. This circumstance 
ought, in some degree, to prevent persons from re- 
commending teachers upon the personal declarations of 
their own goodness and learning, which are frequently 
snares to entrap those, whose intention it is to assist 
them as much as lies in their power.— -To this recom- 
mending system I am no friend. I have known men 
come into this city, and exalt each other, till their pe- 
cuniary purposes have been answered, and have then 
divulged their true characters, by committing acts 
which excited the indignation of an injured public, and 
condemned the offenders in the eyes of justice and all 
intelligent beings. 

In recommending, we generally recommend men 
possessed of impudence and ignorance in the extreme. 
Men of noble minds and conscious of their dignified 
talents, scorn to solicit paper testimonials from 
any man. They consider it a disgrace to themselves 
to depend upon the abilities of others, to enhance them 
in the opinion of the public, before they have done any 
thing, to merit their applause. Thus circumstanced, 
they open a school, and unaccustomed to adulation and 
flattery, they disdain to solicit scholars. They remain 
unnoticed, and virtues and abilities, which would adorn 
any station, avail them nothing. They do not collect 
a large school. The multitude believe, that they are 
incapable of conducting one; for they generally judge 
of the talents of instructors, from the number of pu- 
pils belonging to their seminaries. This indeed is a 
pretty correct criterion, when men of the first stand- 



REFORMER. 247 

ing, both as it respects literature and wealth, patron- 
ize the superintendent of a scholastic establishment.* 
But those men who are so unfortunate as not to be no- 
ticed by men of eminence, who frequently receive but 
a trifling compensation, and whose talents, therefore, 
we cannot rationally expect will be called into active 
service, soon sink into disrepute, feel the sharp cries 
of penury and want, hear from every mouth their tal- 
ents condemned, and see with indignation, that they 

WHO HAVE THE MOST AUDACITY AND IMPUDENCE, 
GENERALLY MEET THE APPLAUSE AND ENCOURAGE- 
MENT OF THE MULTITUDE. 

In recommending men we are liable to be deceived 
by their appearance of virtue and talents. I have 
known men recommended by a long list of names 
as teachers of youth, turn out to be the greatest drunk- 
ards and rakes, and " laugh to scorn," those who per- 
haps from interested motives, or from benevo- 
lence, have put their signatures to papers, sure in 
time to bring them into disgrace, and to excite the 
public voice against them. 

The surest way to judge of men's talents is to let 
them collect a school by their own abilities. If 
they be capable of instructing youth, the public should 



* There are several Classical and English schools in this 
city, patronized by some of our worthiest men, where the 
principles of moral rectitude, as well as of literature, are in- 
culcated on the youthful mind, which I could mention ; but I 
do not deem it proper to particularize the merits of any sem- 
inary at present, as it would have a tendency to excite 
the bitter animosity of low and illiterate teachers against 
those preceptors who are esteemed as good, if not the best 
in the United States, and render the writer liable to the im- 
putation of partiality and prejudice. 



148 REFORMER. 

extend the liberal hand of patronage towards them ; 
if on the contrary, they be destitute of those qualifica- 
tions which are requisite in teachers, the public should 
expel such men from the community whose life they 
have endeavoured to destroy by poisoning the foun- 
tains by which it is nourished and supported. 



&E$ORMK&» 149 

THE HISTOEY OF A QUACK PEDAGOGUE. 

Proposals for the opening of a school on new and 
rational principles, designed to assist youth in acqui- 
ring a knowledge of their vernacular tongue, with 
greater facility, than any heretofore practised. 

By SQUAB SLENDERHEAD. 

Fabricando fabrifieri discimus, Morhof, 

By working" in the art, we learn to be artists. 

In nations removed from a state of barbarism, the 
right education of youth has ever been considered as 
an object of so inestimable value, that different nations 
may be said to assume an ascendency over each other, 
in proportion to the vigilance and attention, with which 
they superintend this interesting subject. 

As might, therefore, be naturally expected, in such 
a country as the United States of America, where ge- 
nius may rise to the most honourable and important 
offices \\\ Church and State, I have, for some time 
past, seen the papers of our cities, groaning under the 
weight of School Advertisements, proposing to in- 
itiate and- perfect in the various branches of literature, 
all gtixDS of children, by means of some new invent- 
ed sffhemes of instruction, so that they may soon be 
capable of assuming the dignified profession of the 
Lawyer,, tne^ivine, or the Statesman. This, my in- 
tended friends, has been an exceedingly great source 
of grief to me. They have professed more than they 
were enable of performing. But this shall not be the 
t^H^ tc$ h me ; for, in order that the public may be 
N 2 



150 REFORMER. 

enabled to judge of my pretensions to literature and 
integrity, I intend to give a catalogue of the branches, 
I am now able to teach, the methods and machines, I 
have invented, which certainly are calculated to ex- 
pand the ripening faculties to their most susceptible 
degree, and prove the proprietors to be ornaments to 
their country. I hope the American youth will receive 
great advantage from them. I do not wish to deceive 
the public by flattering promises and noisy show ; yet 
still I cannot help thinking, that I should pronounce, 
in justice to myself, that I AM AN UNCOMMON 
M AN. The community may really depend upon what 
I say ; for if I know myself, I am not vain, nor am I an 
impostor. Since then, part of my character is known, 
and teachers are so deficient in qualifications, I must 
openly avow, that I know of no effectual means to des- 
troy their future and ill directed exertions, except by 
introducing something of my own, which my con- 
science approves, reason dictates, and at which folly 
and envy must retire behind the curtain, the one to 
ridicule, and the other to gnash her poisonous teeth. 

I am extremely sorry to assert these things as true, 
much more to apply them to the generality of Ameri- 
can preceptors. They are facts, however, which men 
of common understanding have seen and cannot, with 
any degree of veracity, deny. My interested notions 
in behalf of the rising hopes urge me to expose their 
impolitic modes, and present my readers with a con- 
cise history of my life ; " hair breadth escapes and im- 
minent dangers," from immorality, which has ruined 
thousands, so that they may be able to form a just 
estimation of my virtues, erudition, and lastly, of the 



REFORMER, |5I 

basis of all solid improvement, uncommon natural sense. 
I, my clear friends, possess all these admirable quali- 
ties in the highest perfection, and think you cannot be 
too lavish of your thanks to all-bounteous Providence, 
for providing a man so competent to inculcate the 
moral and social virtues, and in a word, to render so- 
ciety fit for what it was intended. In this city, where 
I now reside, you will shortly see encomiums upon 
my abilities, from the hands of some of our most em- 
inent literary characters j hear my scholars pronoun- 
cing their own orations, while hundreds listen to the 
harmony of the numbers, and the correctness of their 
sentiments. In the mean time the spirit and energy 
of their eloquence, shall rouse to martial deeds the 
young and aged, nations shall tremble at their thunder? 
while their accents, as they fall, shall be caught by 
every ear, and uttered in strains of rapture. Their 
wonder-working' powers shall not merely resound to 
the passing moment; but the present age shall trans- 
mit them to posterity, and when the mist of fable be- 
gins to envelope this period, their writings shall stand 
in competition with the greatest masters of antiquity, 
Cicero, Demosthenes, Csesar, Hortensius or Hyperides. 
Yes, my friends, I am the person, to whom Providence 
has assigned this glorious, this immortal task ; I am 
the man who shall be loved and adored, when this ten- 
ement of clay shall have mouldered away, and its dust 
be mingled with that of the strumpet, the beggar, and 
the blockhead. For the former two, I am not con- 
cerned, but for the latter, such is my detestation of ig- 
norant men, that I cannot bear the idea of reposing 
even my bones with theirs, and I know not, but that 



152 REFORMER. 

my airy spirit, disturbed at this unusual division of 
merit, will descend upon the earth, unite with my 
body, though dust, and ascend into the upper regions 
amidst the plaudits of millions. 

As I have promised jjhosc, who mean to be my 
friends, so I s) J$$& veritably on all the sub- 

jects worthy cr^ct>ini^jit^not; eulogy. I shall deliver 
my thoughts in a style sulte«^&the occasion, clothed 
in all the pomp of langua§e,^£3. elegance of meta- 
phorical allusions, which my imagination can furnish ; 
intermingling some of the beauties of poetry, with a 
little philosophy and considerable Latin (for I am very 
partial to the classics) but no Greek. This is my 
opinion of fine writing, though many dissent from the 
latter part, that is, of inserting Latin and philosophy in 
essays, two things, which are condemned by those who 
do not understand them* 

Damnant, quod not intelligunt. 
They condemn that which they do not understand. 

But I shall not be directed by the ignorant ; I ask 
not their voice in my councils. The approbation of the 
wise is sufficient authority for me, and they say as I 
do, stick your Latin and all you know in every part of 
your writings; it is of no use except for show. What 
is the value of a man's knowledge, unless others know 
that he is learned ? 

As I have pledged my word, to adhere most scru- 
pulously to truth, I deem it expedient to state a few 
remote circumstances in defence of my preceptorial 
reputation, as I am confident, that the lash of satire, 
will be pc.rseve«r.ingly applied by teachers privately, if 




ftEFORMER. 153 

I! not publicly. It has often happened to the most con- 
| seientious instructors of youth, as well as to myself. 
! It is a common practice among the lower orders, to 
j scandalize each other's characters and talents without 
provocation. I hope, however, that I am free from an 
| imputation of this kind. As it is not my intention, at 
I present, to say any thing which can wound their feel- 
| ings, I shall proceed to the object in View without far- 
f ther comment, and leave the public to judge of my 
i intentions. 

" Veritas odium parit." 
Truth occasions hatred. 

In pursuance of what I first observed, the commu- 
nity must know, that America is comparatively a new 
settled country, and led in benevolence to mankind, I 
determined to cross the bleak Atlantic, leaving my 
native home, my friends, my wife and children. I had 
however, ascertained to a certainty, that this part of 
the habitable globe was. yet too young to furnish in- 
structors competent to expand the bud of genius,* to 
that degree, of which it is susceptible, by proper meth- 
ods and well regulated schools. 

On my arrival I visited several cities, which cer- 
tainly have arisen to great eminence since the first 
dawn of civilization, and determined to fix my resi- 
dence in New-York, upon which the citizens of other 
places " might look and weep," for I had fixed an 
unalterable resolution to revolutionize all the schools, 
I immediately discovered the incapacity of my frater- 
nity, and keeping in mind an extract from Stewart's 
Philosophy of the Mind, which says, " if the business 
of education were more thoroughly and more general- 



154 BEF0RMER. 

\y understood, it would be less necessary for individu- 
als, when they arrive at maturity, to form plans of 
improvement for themselves," I forthwith went to work ; 
but soon perceived that there was much to be clone, 
and wrote to the place of my nativity for a man of ex- 
traordinary abilities to come out and assist me in the 
arduous task of " teaching the young idea how to 
shoot." I failed in my project. He wrote that it 
would be a Herculean task, and therefore declined to 
accept my offer. Although I felt mortified by his de- 
nial, yet I determined to " pluck up courage" and not 
shrink from the tremendous duty before me, and ac- 
cordingly commenced a new era in American liter- 
ature. The first step taken, was to introduce the man- 
ners and methods practised by our Grub- Street school- 
masters. I obtained a room situated in a very pleasant 
and commodious part of the city ; then proceeded to 
outdo the present preceptors, as many supposed my 
rivals. Pshaw ! thought I, these men have no preten- 
sions to morality, erudition, wit or decency. They 
pretend to teach what they know little or nothing about. 
They are to be sure, men of very uncommon talents, 
but I am certain that they have very little regard for 
the public welfare ; their whole object being to ob- 
tain money. Convinced of the truth of these reflec- 
tions, I instantly circulated my prospectus, informing 
the public of the various branches which I proposed 
to teach, and the methods which I should pursue in 
my mode of tuition. First, I was to teach spelling, 
on which I made some elegant and profound comments, 
showing its inestimable use before the scholar proceeds 
to the higher branches of literature. But by the bye, 



HEFORMER. j.55 

as I am bound to speak the truth, especially of what 
I ONCE WAS, I cannot omit one or two circumstan- 
ces which happened, and very bad ones they were : 
viz. : in my observations on the usefulness of correct 
spelling, I spelled more than half of the words wrong. 
But this early defect in my education I have since 
remedied ; for I have read Webster's Spelling-Book 
through so often, that I have learned it all by heart. — > 
I next proceeded to point out the graces of writing, 
and spoke of it in the highest terms of praise ; because, 
I know, that many persons prefer a a good hand 
-writing, to a good sound head, or in other words, 
many parents would rather that their children should 
understand the penman's flourishes, than possess a good 
fund of solid information. Of my skill in this useful 
art, my handbills bear record. Here, however, I was 
doubly mortified, for I spelled incorrectly again, and 
had several pieces returned with samples of various 
hand writings, asking whether I, in reality, thought 
that I could surpass them. Confident of my passing 
wonderful talents in this, as w r ell as in other branches 
of education, I challenged my competitors to a trial of 
skill ; but, to my extreme disappointment, found them 
all far superior to me in this kind of manual operation. 
I began, by this time, to see that the American peo- 
ple had a little sense, and that our English voyagers 
and travellers had told as many fictitious stories as are 
contained in the wonderful travels of Gulliver, Baron 
I^taunchausen, the Persian Legends, or in the Meta- 
morphoses of Ovid, who may justly be called the fa- 
ther of lies. I requested my antagonists to keep se- 
cret all which they had heard and seen, and this, they ? 



156 REFORMER. 

with flattering promises, said that they would. But 
my intended friends deceived me, in the manner which 
is always to be expected from knaves, and proved my 
most bitter enemies. They propagated my disgrace 
far and wide, and I was henceforth pestered to death 
with thousands of scraps of writings which I was confi- 
dent that I could surpass, although outstripped by a 
few of their best penmen. But, courteous reader, be 
not surprised ; for I have amended this glaring over- 
sight of my younger days by committing to memory, 
the principles of every writing master from the Dis- 
trict of Maine to Georgia ; together with a number of 
the directions on the same subject, which have been 
composed by some of my countrymen, and I am now 
confident, that no one can equal me in this city. My 
grammatical examination was, indeed, illy performed, be- 
cause I had always thought that the science of grammar 
would be of no use to myself, and therefore of none to 
others. I missed the most simple question. How many 
parts of speech are there ? But on this subject, I wish 
to say, nor think no more, as I have sustained too much 
mortification on the subject already. Next came my 
comments on the worth on Geography. Here again I 
was thrown into confusion, turned pale, blue, and lastly 
red ; but as a Pagan philosopher says, Dum erubuit^salva 
res est j " while he blushes all is safe." And I always 
consoled myself with the above saying, whenever I 
was in the least disconcerted in my schemes. I had 
a very good knack of blushing; but I really know not, 
by which muscle it was, that I used to perform this ru- 
bied operation of the face. If I failed in any thing, 
like Cardinr.l Dc Retz, I always persuaded myself, that 



REFORMER* 157 

In reality I had not. But, gentle reader, be not sur- 
prised at all this, it is not half of my misfortunes. $ 
have completely purged my mind of geographical and 
grammatical ignorance, as I have learned all Morse's, 
Guthrie's, Goldsmith's, and Cumming's Geographies by 
rote, as also, all Ash's, Webster's, Loivth^s^, Murray's, 
Jaudon's, and Comely' s English Grammars, and am al- 
most certain that I can analyze the following simple 
sentence, " I love wine." 

It would take a number of pages to recapitulate the 
whole list of my various blunders and misreckonings, 
I shall therefore, only attempt a. brief sketch of them. 
Next came on my examination on Arithmetic, pure 
and mixed mathematics, and here I miscalculated in 
almost every instance and was most shamefully ex- 
posed. To obviate this evil, I learned all Euclid by 
heart, and can therefore do any proposition in it. In 
my Latin I translated in a most shocking manner, and 
was laughed at by all who were present. Finally hav- 
ing gone my round, like a cart horse, by mismanage- 
ment, I was obliged to bring up play-acting as a nov- 
elty. In this too I failed, and my creditors becoming 
impatient, I was put in jail for debt. I contrived, how- 
ever, after some time, to get out, began the world 
anew, issued proposals for opening a new school, and 
sent round my circulars. 

I will pledge my honour to the public, that the plan 
which I shall pursue in f -/;ure, will be productive of 
far greater benefit 10 the rising generation, than any 
heretofore practised. It will be worth more than any 
other method, for this one reason, viz. : that it makes 
all wise who come within its influence . I first took 
O 



158 REFORMER. 

the hint from the system recommended, and practised 
-with so much success, by Timothy Quack, Esq. who 
taught school in Middle Pedagogue-Street, No. 96.-— 
It is one of the best plans which I ever saw. My read- 
ers must not let the name of the writer militate against 
his doctrine. 

The following is his advertisement, after which I 
will give mine. 

EDUCATION. 

Seeing that almost every column of the news-papers 
in this city, is teeming with notices of schools and se- 
lect academies, holding forth the great improvements 
made, or about to be made, in the art of education, 
I take the liberty of squeezing into the vehicle of pub- 
lic information, the wonderful and astonishing discove- 
ry which I have most fortunately made. I have learn- 
ed, from long experience, that a perfect knowledge of 
all the Arts and Sciences may be communicated to 
youth in one half of the time, which is usually devoted 
to that purpose. My plan of instruction is perfectly 
simple, attended with no labour or pains to the learn- 
er, and yet it is more efficacious than any other what- 
ever, being performed with the greatest facility and 
correctness imaginable. Here it is. I have provided, 
at no inconsiderable expence, a box in magnitude suf- 
ficient to contain the Encyclopedia Britanica, or even 
the New-York City Library. The apartments of this 
are so arranged, and the books so adjusted, as to admit 
a free circulation among them. This is done in order 
that the essence or spirit of the various scientific works 
may impregnate the air, and be conveyed into the mind 



REFORMER. ] 59 

of the learner, in the following manner. The pupil has 
only to put his ear to a tube, which is let into the box 
already described, through which he is to receive a 
gentle puff from my mouth, which will at once blow 
a perfect knowledge of literature and science into his 
understanding. The terms for each puff are % 60. 

Ail this apparatus I have been at the expence of pur- 
chasing. To perfect the learner, I have only to take 
him into my " Labratory" and — puff. 

My advertisement is below, and the reasons for my 
advertising. 

TO PARENTS AND TEACHERS. 

Two motives induce me once more to make known 
my abilities. The one is to endeavour to bring into 
deserved notice my new publication, Squab Slender- 
head's Spelling-Book, and the other (and a noble one 
it certainly is) to inform those, who know the value of 
the inculcation of sound and wholesome knowledge, 
where they may be served to the utmost of their rea- 
sonable wishes, viz. : at Squab Slenderhead's School- 
house, No. 104 Soft-Street. 

My Spelling-Book is acknowledged by the best 
judges, to be the most finished compilation, that has 
ever appeared. I will venture, therefore, to recom- 
mend it to the public upon our combined judgments. 
It is English pronunciation complete, and I do not on- 
ly hope, but am certain, that American youth will 
derive more solid information from it, than from any 
before the public. As to my school, I have not much 
to say. Timothy Quack's plan will always be suffi- 
cient to reward its patrons. I am master of every sci- 



160 REFORMER. 

ence which / undertake to teach, and of this the pub- 
lic can bear the strongest testimony, after they shall 
have submitted their children to my infallible judg- 
ment and skill. 

SQUAB SLENDERHEAD, Esq. 

N. B....I have deviated from what I first said, viz. : 
that I was not to make use of self praise. But I must, 
in this respect, imitate the example of the famous Don 
Quixotte De La Mancha, Knight of the rueful counte- 
nance, or as he afterwards called himself, Knight of 
the Lions, that is, I cannot help eulogizing myself, 
when the whole world knows, that I so much de* 
serve it. 



REFORMER- 161 

EXHIBITION OF A TRAGEDY BY SCHOLARS. 

I call no man an ape or ass, 

'Tis his own conscience holds the glass. 

Gay's Fables 

O tempora ! O mores ! Cicero, 

O the times ! O the manners ! 

Dear Friend, 

The promise, which I made to you in my last 
letter, I have at length performed. I have attended 
the exhibition of that extraordinary man, who makes it 
his exclusive business to initiate and perfect all kinds 
of children in all the blandishments of the orator. My 
ears were assailed, every day, and I could not walk 
five steps in the street or house, without hearing of the 
great good which he was doing to the public. Though 
I have never made it a practice of visiting any place, 
where I should hear a Longinus or Hyfierides, pleading 
in the most animated strains, in the cause of his beloved 
country, or where the orator's weapons were handled 
with all the vigour of an inspired imagination ; yet, by 
the repeated solicitations of the advocates and friends 
of this more than mortal man^ I concluded to attend 
the first of his very celebrated performances, where 
I naturally expected to see all the scenes of our best 
dramatic writers, touched with the magic breath of a 
Garrick, a Kemble, a Cooke, or a Cooper. 

One evening, as I sat grieving (being a teacher of 
elocution myself, who, however, was unwilling to allow 
myself to be actuated by envy at his oratorical talents) 
O 2" 



162 REFORMER. 

and ruminating on his unbounded fame, his extraordina- 
ry faculties, his knowledge of human nature, and above 
all, his supernatural power of supplying the defects of 
nature, I was startled by a sudden rap at the door. It 
was a friend of mine who came to let me know, that 
this passing wonderful instructor's [scholars were to 
perform Addison's celebrated tragedy of Cato. I dres- 
sed myself in my best habit, as soon as possible, and 
hastened to the fatal spot, from which I arose with 
little edification or delight, and really hope " I ne'er 
shall look upon its like again." You may rest assured, 
that from the reputation which he had, heretofore, sus- 
tained, it was not long before I reached the intended 
place.-— A stage was erected — people were flocking 
in — the actors were strutting across to show them- 
selves and their dress, and these were all which they 
did show. — The ladies and gentlemen were scramb- 
ling for scats, and the girls and boys were striving 
with each other, who should be foremost. I could 
plainly discover that Ovid had not penned this line in 
vain. " Light trifles please light minds."— The mu- 
sicians struck up " Yankee Doodle" I was astound- 
ed. 1 — ' O Lord !' said I, < this lets me into a most fatal 
tragedy to come.' — The applauding commenced. — Ail 
1 could compare it to, was the celebrated concert of 
Tegg's cats. And at the time, when the curtain rose, 
such was the pother and uproar, that I began to think, 
that Jupiter and Nefitujie were contending, who should 
be the mightiest. Yes, 

" Such a noise arose 

As the shrouds make at sea, in a stiff tempest, 
\s loud, and to as many times. Hats, cloaks, 



REFORMER. 163 

Doublets, I think flew up ; and had their faces 
Been loose, that day, they had been lost. Such joy, 
I never saw before. Great belly'd women, 
That had not half a week to go, like rams 
In the old time of war, would shake the press, 
And make 'em reel before 'em. No man living 
Could say, this is my wife there ; all were woven 
So strangely in one piece." 

Shakespeare. 

What ! said I to my friend ; for horrour had so over- 
come him, that he clung to me, in fright, like the babe 
to its mother's breast ; what does this rude commotion 
of wind and water mean ? Why, said he, they are 
venting their plaudits to the boys and their dress. 
Do they make no distinction, then ? replied I. — But— 
Stop ! — The jabbering begins. A half snapped Scotch- 
man sings out, " speak louder ;" out squeaks the little 
fellow ; hands rattle, spit flies. Why, exclaimed I, 
who was almost deprived of my hearing (my auricu- 
lar nerves being wounded by the shouts of applause) 
to my over anxious friend, what does all this mean, 
that such a foolish man should undertake to impose 
upon the people's understanding thus ? — Silence ! — • 
hear it out, and then comment on this glorious night's 
performance. — I could scarcely bridle my rage to see 
persons made dupes to such folly.— At length out popt 
another mannikin. I never heard so severe a crack ; it 
was among the girls ; but how they could contrive to 
make such a noise, is to me a mystery, as it was of 
such a kind as I had seldom heard before. This scene 
and the remainder of the play went on in the true tra- 
gic style, ranting and storming, crying and kissing ; 



164 REFORMER, 

except the one in which Sempronius is killed. " Si- 
lence now commands, as though nature were at rest. 
But as we often see, against some storm, a silence in 
the heavens, the rack stand still, the bold winds speech- 
less, and the orb below as hush'd as death : anon the 
dreadful thunder doth rend the region : so after a short 
pause, their roused spirits set them new at work, and 
never did the, Cy clop's hammers falling on Mar's ar- 
mour, forged for proof eternal, cause half the noise," 
as did their hands, their feet, and slavering mouth's. — 
I was lost in this earthly judgment. Men were eulo- 
gizing the performance. I, even I myself, my friend, 
was so enraptured, that I called unknowingly (as I was 
afterwards told) upon the shade of Addison, to look 
down and give his decided approbation on this admira- 
ble performance ; upon the muse of Shakespeare, " to 
hold my heart, and to my sinews to grow not instant 
cold but bear me stiffly up." — Can I forget thee poor 
Sempronius, I mean poor player ? No ! " While mem- 
ory holds a seat in this distracted globe." Forget thee 1 
No ! From the table of my memory, I'll wipe away 
all forms, all pressures past, and thy poor playing, all 
alone, " shall live within the book and volume of my 
brain, unmixed with baser matter: yes by heaven !" — 
But alas ! my friend, how quick is the transition from 
pleasure to pain. My eyes were attracted, as it were 
magnetically, by the hideous spectacle of an old wo- 
man, who had one or two stumps of decayed teeth, 
just peeping through her stale lips, the wreck of for- 
mer beauty, sighing and wringing her hands, and rolU 
ing the whites of her eyes. Madam, said I, what's the 
matter : Why do you wring your hands thus? " Ok 



REFORMER. 165 

lah !" exclaimed the toothless old soul, " peace 5 « set 
you down and let me wring your heart ; for I shall, if 
it be made of penetrable stuff; if damned custom (she 
meant perhaps the custom of teaching children the 
principles of morality) have not brazed it so, that it is 
bulwark against sense." Oh ! cease mother of bards, 
hold your eloquent strains let my soul become calm. 
She would have proceeded ; but I stopped her falling, 
gentle accents. Why thought I, the towering genius 
of the immortal bard of Avon pervades all ranks, all 
sizes, all ages ; from the lisping infant up to the nau- 
seous dame of seventy, all seem to have taken a strong 
dose of his tragical spirit. 

The awful, august and tragic scene being over, the 
actors slain, and the audience having finished their 
magic spell of grief, the encomiums on the players 
were more profusely lavished than ever. Some were 
pleased and others were not, as all expected to be 
praised for their outdoing themselves. A great chat- 
tering was heard among the old women, among whom 
we generally find a great deal of garrulity, the privi- 
lege of years. " My boy" said one, " got a great 
sight of firaise ; did'nt you hear how they clapped and 
hurraed^ when he said such a part ?" u Yes, I guess 
they did." " Lah ! suz," exclaimed the other, to whom 
she addressed herself, " he did'nt pesarve it. My 
son and daughter beat 'em all. They got the most 
credit ; for did'nt you hear, how the people laughed 
and whistled ? when they hallowed so loud, and made 
such perty faces ; and kissed so handsome, and show* 
ed their white teeth, and waddled across the stage ?" 
* Yes," answered a third, " I think that there young 



166 REFORMER. 

lady, that does'nt look so beautiful when she a'nt paint- 
ed and flounced off in so many silver-laced ruffles, ap- 
peared the handsomest, and done the best, when she 
polled the whites of her eyes out of sight, and grinned 
so well, at meeting the counsellor Sempronius." — 
" Mam," said the first dame, " you mus'nt insult my 
daughter's reputation." " Is it your datur, mam, I 
did'nt know, or I would not harm her." " Yes, mam, 
you would," said the first. " No, mam, I would'nt," 
said the second. " Yes you would mam, and I'll pros- '; 
ecute you as the law directs for slandering my datur's 
character." — From words they almost came to blows ; 
I expected every minute that the battering would com- 
mence. My surprise increased, and what added to 
it, was, that each appeared to have been so cannon- 
aded* by time's powerful battery, that their timbers .. 
would not stand another discharge of round shot. — 
What was to be done ? It was a pity for them " to .: 
black each other's eyes," which was the natural con- \ 
sequence after such a dispute (for it seemed as if they 
had learned to weep, to fight, and murder, and spout, 
from this and such other tragic scenes) and indeed 
this was the case ; for 

" To arms ! to arms ! the fierce Virago cries, 

And swift as lightning to the combat flies. 

All side in parties, and begin th' attack : 

Fans clap, silks rustle, and tough whalebones crack ; 

Heroes' and hetoines' shouts confus'dly rise, 

And bass and treble voices strike the skies. 

No common weapon in their hands are found, 

Like Gods they fight, nor dread a mortal wound. 

So when bold Homer makes the Gods engage, 

And heavenly breasts with human passions rage ; 



REFORMER. 167 

5 Gainst Pallas, Mars ; Latona, Hermes arms : 

And all Olympus rings with loud alarms ; 

Jove's thunder roars, heaven trembles all around, 

Blue Neptune storms, the bellowing deeps resound : 

Earth shakes her nodding towers, the ground gives way, 

And the pale ghosts start at the flash of day." 

Pope. 

After a long and tedious fight, they were finally rec- 
onciled by the friendly interposition of some neighing 
steeds, who were accustomed to such " hair breadth 
escapes and imminent dangers." 

As novelty is one of the greatest sources of pleas- 
ure, I did not remain long disengaged. My attention 
was drawn to a fat bellyed man, who was lavishing 
his encomiums on the exhibition of puppets. He 
observed, it was the best thing of the kind he had ever 
seen. " Thinks I to myself," that may be the case, 
and still be bad enough. My eyes were almost riv- 
etted on this would be great man (for you must know 
that I am -very partial to such men) " whose reverend 
visage (asj.he Memoirs of Martlinus Scriblerus say) 
portrayed a profoundness of knowledge, on whom the 
beautiful varnish of time ; — or rather (let me call it) 
this precious aerugo, this venerable verdure of so many 
years," had spread that mantle, which ought to com- 
mand respect. On inquiry, I found it was the cele- 
brated Dr. Squab, whose fame alone the stars can bound, 
which can only die by the destruction of nature. 

His praises, together with those of the insignificant 

chap, with whom he was conversing, and the ideas of 

the boys' acting, struck me so forcibly, that I could 

| not help repeating Hamlet's famed speech to the play- 



•[68 REFORMER. 

ers. I shall quote it, to demonstrate the effects which 
they had upon me, and leave you, my friend, to judge 
whether I have hit upon a right quotation or not.— - 
« Oh, says he, there be players that I have seen play, 
and heard others praise, that highly, — not to speak 
it profanely, — that neither having the accent of Christ- 
ian, nor the gait of Christian, pagan nor man, have so 
strutted, and bellowed, that I thought some of nature's 
journeymen had made men, and not made them well, 
they imitated humanity so abominably." — All this oc- 
curred to me, and surely, I, who stand on a pinnacle of 
dust, compared to that on which the eminent Dr. Squab 
is elevated, could not, within the bounds of thought, 
have recollected the tenth part of any writings, so 
appropos to the evening's entertainments, had they not 
made a very deep impression on my mind. I can no 
more. Oh 1 Confucius I what a head he must have. 

But, my dear friend, this is not all. Some few days 
after, as I was reading the news-paper, I saw, to my 
astonishment, his advertisement, mentioning this dis- 
tinguished performance, the praises which he receiv- 
ed, and asserting that his new invented mode of in- 
struction had met with the warmest approbation of the 
public. He moreover stated, that as it was yet in its 
infancy, they might reasonably expect something val- 
uable in a short time, which would amply reward pa- 
rents for their kind patronage, and him for his very 
persevering attention to their offspring. — A circular 
with such a mixture of flattery and fiction may seduce 
a few, who are incapable of distinguishing between 
sense and nonsense, and who are always sure to draw 
wrong conclusions from right premises,— He further 



REFORMER. 169 

informed the people of the city of New-York (for you 
must know it has been a great institution in its time, 
according to his story) that he intended to teach ev- 
ery branch of education, which, in reality, I well knew 
that he could not ; it being customary among quack 
teachers, as well as quack doctors, to advertise to do 
incredibles and mconceivables, merely with a view to 
deceive the community ; and he, in the same para- 
graph, expressed the liveliest sense of his gratitude 
(as I have observed) to those, whom he had made 
sufficiently credulous of his abilities, to attend to his 
spouting exhibitions. His advertisement was written 
in a style, from which I supposed that the dictionary 
had been searched from end to end, and that the fair- 
est fields of our best writers had been rifled of every 
flower, and of every important figure ; for they dance 
through this strange composition in all the confusion 
of an untutored genius, and the wildness of a disturbed 
imagination. In short, were you to peruse this marvel- 
lous advertisement, you would be satisfied that his pate 
was stored with the elaborate and profound sentiments 
of that supereminent dramatic writer, John Minshull, 
Esq. who precipitately embarked for his native coun- 
try, leaving only his name behind : and because learn- 
ing was not patronized in the American Republic, he 
sought fair Britain's soil, the land of patriots, of tal- 
ents, but now — the land of Bavius. Thus have we 
been deprived of one of the wonders of the world, by 
the lukewarmness which we have expressed towards 
a man, who, surely, bade fair to become one of our 
greatest ornaments, and whose genius led him whol- 
ly to the sublime. — And now farewell, O literature 
P 



170 REFORMER. 

of America ! farewell thou champion of genius ! mayst 
thou, when the iron hand of death shall snatch thy 
spirit from thy un tempered body, be borne to the man- 
sions of eternal rest, and may the fair virgins of that 
country, in which thou mayst end thy days, chant thy 
own epicediums over thee, and strow thy grave with 
ever blooming laurels ; and may a literary thorn never 
spring from it (and alas ! they never will, for thou wilt 
remain untouched and unknown) to brand thy name, 
thou noblest patron of science, thou genius of dramat- 
ic poetry. 

I have been able, heretofore, to wield my pen in 
proportion to every literary display, which made its 
appearance ; but I must confess that the flights of 
which this man seems susceptible, exceeds my utmost 
abilities, and doubt not, that there are many more, who 
as well as I, will find themselves as unequal to the 
task of commenting on the theatrical performance of 
his pupils, as on the elegance of the diction of his 
marvellous advertisement. 

While sitting in my room, and wrapped in medita- 
tion on a certain evening, a few days after this ex- 
hibition was over, I was aroused by a knocking at 
the door. It proved to be my worthy friend, who 
had so earnestly requested me to attend the exhibi- 
tion, and who, along with me, had not only seen the 
representation, but also heard the strange reflections 
which had been made on the performers. I certainly 
thought to hear many encomiums passed upon the 
performance. But I was mistaken. " To my utter 
astonishment," exclaimed he, " I never was so much 
disappointed in my life. I never beheld so much 
ridiculous stuff, such mawkish imitations." He be- 



REFORMER. 171 

gan pointing out the defects, and continued his philo- 
logical observations, till it drew towards the hour of 
retiring to the care of the God Morpheus. After his 
departure, I concluded that it would be mispending 
my time to expose preceptorial artifice, and to wound 
his patron's feelings. For these reasons, I determined 
to draw my essay to a conclusion. But, at that mo- 
ment,, ill-fated instant ! I happened to turn my eye 
to the paper, which contained his advertisement. — ■ 
My indignation was instantly roused, to think, that he 
should supplant me in the public favour, and injure 
my reputation as a teacher of elocution. I sat down 
and wept when I saw to my lasting mortification, his 
paper informer, signed by some of our most exalt- 
ed literary characters. Yes, my friend, such is the 
case, the writings of a pretty acute genius are passed 
over unnoticed ; he can get no recommendation. But 
great men, on the contrary, almost without having seen 
or read the productions of another great man, do not 
hesitate to give their names to them as a sanction of 
their approbation. They who signed his " inconceiv- 
able" were men of eminence, and considered this 
teacher as another man of eminence. To form a bet- 
ter idea of their talents, here are the names of the 
gentlemen, and probably some of them are known to 
you, by fame at least. — Timothy Stromony, Esq. a 
celebrated astronomer, Dr. Addlehead, whom you can 
judge of by his name, Dr. Squab, a celebrated lin- 
guist, Monsieur Paddlefoot, Tommy Silverpot, Jem- 
my Gooselook, Johnny Classical, Horace Brumagen, 
Dr. Spindle, Dr. Puff, Virgil Talkall, Sec. — Now my 
friend., what could I say or do to remove this mountain 
of abilities ? — I could do nothing. 



172 * REFORMER. 

As to the first great man, " great let me call him/'" 
for he has puzzled me, and thrown indissoluble chains 
over my talents, I have only to observe, that those per- 
sons signatures have exalted him above all praise. 

I have given my opinion of this preceptor, and from 
the peculiar situation, in which he has placed himself, 
I shall leave it to the public to say whether my ob- 
servations be true or not. And as for the others, they 
cannot be so blind to the good order and harmony of 
society as to refuse giving them their due share — of 

WHATEVER THEY MAY THINK PROPER. I have be- 

stowed mine very cordially and liberally : for I well 
know into what hands I shall get, when the displeas- 
ure of men of erudition is excited against me. It is 
almost impossible to affect a reconciliation. — But it is 
now high time to sum up. Well my friend, what do 
you think of what I have said ? Do you not consider 
such theatrical representations mere literary swindles? 
I know you will say yes, and that is my opinion.' — I 
should not have stooped to notice this droll stuff, this 
cracking business, to rake from their muddy bed. these 
drawlings and gestures of servility had they not been 
recommended by the teacher himself, which savours 
too much of pride unconscious of worth, and more 
particularly, obtruded on the public by Dr. Squab, 
who wishes all persons to send their children to this 
Roscius (I call him so by way of pre-eminence) this 
very elegant and polite scholar, who is not only mas- 
ter of his own language, but also can write Latin and 
Greek with as great purity and correctness as he does 
the English, and may, for aught I know, be able to 
speak them as fluently as Dr. Squab. 



REFORMER. 173 



THE WONDERFUL ORATOR AND LOGICIAN. 



" Omnis homines, qui sese student praestare csetecis am% 
malibus, summaope, niti decet, ne vitam silentio transeant, ve- 
luti pecora, quse natura prona atque ventri obedientia finxit. 
Sed nostra omnis vis in animo et corpore sita est. Animi im- 
erio, corporis servitio magis utimur ; alterum nobis cum diis, 
alterum cum belluis commune est." Salhist. 

It becomes all men, who aspire to excel other animals, to 
labour with the utmost might, not to pass their life in silence, 
as cattle, which nature has formed grovelling and subject to 
the belly. Now, all our ability is seated in the soul and body. 
In most cases we use the direction of the soul, the service 
of the body : the former is common to us with the Gods, the 
latter with the brutes. 

I am one of those, who have, from an early age, 
considered it as a sacred duty to devote my time, when 
not necessarily employed in attention to private affairs, 
to the improvement of my mind, and have found by- 
experience, that this important object, cannot be so ef- 
fectually obtained by any other mode, as by that of 
making myself acquainted with the treasures contain- 
ed in the sacred Scriptures, which constitute, as it 
were, " a lamp to our feet, and a light to our path," 
and with the valuable reflections and observations, 
which are to be found in almost every page of the 
writings of the venerable sages of Greece and Rome. 
I have long held in abhorrence, that thoughtless and 
truly indiscreet indifference with respect to time, 
which, at present, characterizes a very large portion 
©f our fellow citizens, of every rank, age, and descrip? 
P 2 



174 REFORMER. 

tion ; but more especially those of our youth. In re- 
gard to myself, I do in truth, consider the prodigality 
or unprofitable expenditure of this invaluable and alto- 
gether irredeemable article to be infinitely more det- 
rimental to my interest, than the loss of money ; and 
though I consider it my duty, on the score of prece- 
dence and moral rectitude, to take due care of both ; 
yet I would certainly deem myself much more culpa- 
ble, in being thoughtlessly negligent in respect to the 
former than to the latter. 

Tempus prseterritum nunquam revertitur. Hor. 

Time past never returns. 

I am, therefore, desirous to improve every moment to 
the best advantage, and for this purpose, I endeavour 
to avoid, as much as possible, those associations or 
assemblies, from which I have reason to apprehend, 
that I can gain no mental improvement. I have an- 
other reason for my opinion on this head, which per- 
haps, may not strike every one at first sight, as it does 
me ; but, which, I believe, to be nevertheless, strictly 
correct. It is this. In morals and in refinement of 
taste, there is no standing still. We must either pro- 
gress, or, to -use the words of some celebrated trans- 
atlantic generals, in speaking of the retreat of their 
armies, we must " make a retrograde motion." 

Upon principles, which I have already mentioned, 
and upon others, which will naturally occur to the man 
of intelligence, I therefore resolved most scrupulously 
to avoid those associations or parties, or by whatever 
name they were called, which might deteriorate the 
morals ; but which could never amend them. Various 



REFORMER. 175 

and happy effects resulted to me from this determina- 
tion, so long as I adhered to it, amongst which, this 
was not one of the least, viz. that I became quite a 
domestic man, was delighted with my books and my 
family, and found that peace, at home, which it was 
in vain for me to expect any where else, and which it 
is impossible for the world either to give or take away. 

But as some young females, distinguished by a 
number of graces, which are, in our times, deemed 
peculiarly applicable to the formation of a modern fine 
lady, had pressed me to honour them (as they called it) 
with my company for only one evening, I, though with 
great reluctance, consented to make one of the party, 
I accordingly went ; but as I apprehended, so it hap- 
pened, that I met with nothing which could be con- 
ducive either to my amusement or satisfaction. Hence 
I again and again wished myself to be at home and 
engaged in poring over, in silent meditation, the sub- 
lime maxims of the ancients, made more so by the* 
flight of years, which have elapsed since their days. 

To enumerate all the causes of my chagrin and dis- 
gust would be, by far, too tedious. I shall, therefore, 
content myself with mentioning a few of them. It was 
the first time, that I had been, in what is called fash- 
ionable company, and from every thing which I saw 
and heard, • I was soon satisfied, that I should have 
been more happy, if I had been with a few of those 
well meaning and plain, but intelligent people, with 
whom it had heretofore been my good fortune to asso- 
ciate. 

On entering the room (ill-fated moment to my re- 
pose ; for I have thought of it ever since) I perceived the 



176 REFORMER. 

company to be distributed into several groups. I ap~ 
proached with an air, which certainly carried the marks 
of a rustic genius, arising, as I have before observed, 
from my being unaccustomed to the company of people 
of quality and politeness. Keeping always in mind the 
advice of Dr. Goldsmith to a poor man, whom he advises 
to shrink into the room as fast as he can, and place 
himself, as usual, upon a chair in a remote corner. I 
soon stole off unperceived, to indulge myself in medi- 
tating on some of those passages, which I had been 
reading in the afternoon. This too, was, in my opin- 
ion, performed to admiration, as I had always been ac- 
customed to humble myself to my superiours in knowl- 
edge and etiquette of manners. Though thus retired 
from the main circle, I was frequently interrupted, in 
the course of my reflections, by the conversation of a 
young gentlemen (as he styled himself) with whom 
the company seemed to be highly entertained and grat- 
ified. He was continually endeavouring to display his- 
talents to the best advantage ; disputing on cases of 
law, on politics, and on religion ; which last, in par- 
ticular, no man was ever less qualified, both from men- 
tal imbecility and habitual depravity ; and with respect 
to the two former, he was so extremely defective, that 
he would have shown his prudence, if he had been al- 
together silent. He was totally unmindful of those, 
who were present, as long as he could hear himself 
" chatter." Were any opinion advanced, however or- 
thodox, if it did not coincide precisely with bis own, 
the author of the sentiment was immediately addressed 
by the appellation of "fool" or some other tifle equal- 
ly delicate. But if a coincidence of sentiments, upon 



1 



REFORMER. 177 

any subject, existed between " this young gentleman" 
and any other person in the room, that person was 
deemed by him, a man possessed of a correct and 
delicate taste, and a good understanding. It has been 
observed, that almost every circumstance which takes 
place in human life, may be made a source of instruc- 
tion and amusement to the observer. This was plain- 
ly verified, this evening, and here I learned this use- 
ful lesson ; that, in discoursing with an illiterate and 
self-conceited person, the best way to obtain his com- 
mendations, and avoid his scurrilous invectives, is not 
to contradict him, but to nod a seeming assent to whatev- 
er he may say. Although, I esteem the opinion of one 
intelligent man, more than that of a thousand block- 
heads ; yet as self-conceited gentlemen sometimes have 
considerable influence over the minds of their acquain- 
tance, and these over theirs, I think it worthy of every 
man's pains, to endeavour if possible, to escape the 
censure of illiteracy and dogmatism, with which such 
men are apt to charge those, who are, in fact, far su- 
periour to them in mental refinement, and only esteem- 
ed by the votaries of dulness and impudence, inferiour 
in bodily accomplishments and- strength of mind. — » 
It would not answer for any one to contradict the 
" young gentleman" whom I am describing ; for the 
intelligent at least, were certain of being doubly mor- 
tified ; in the first place by the torrent of invective, 
with which he assailed them, as he seemed determin- 
ed to deter, not by cogency of argument, but by abuse ; 
and in the second, from seeing a human being thus de- 
grading himself by his own folly. These, indeed, are 
Rot the characteristics of one only, but are generally 



178 REFORMER. 

applicable to those, who have obtained a superficial 
knowledge of a science, an art, or a book or two, or 
of those, who from a state of ignorance and poverty, 
have, by fortune, been elevated to ease and opulence. 
This young man is a very apposite example, which, 
with the addition of his flattered abilities, exalted' him 
to an eminence, from which he looked down upon all, 
as devoid of sense, of erudition, and in fact,, even of 
human feelings. Nursed in penury, and pampered with 
luxury when grown up, indulged by parents in idle- 
ness, and consequently in ignorance, he had never 
learned to set a right value upon the blessings of liter- 
ature, and looked with scorn upon those, who dared 
to arraign his opinions, or place themselves in the- 
scales with him, in point of wit, learning, birth or 
wealth. To ask him a reason for what he advanced 
was to give offence, and the only answer that could be 
obtained from him was, that he knew what he had said 
was correct, from " his experience and observation *, 
and more, said he, to firove, that I am not, nor cannot 
be mistaken, I have examined every action and word, 
for seven years past," and to conclude, to use his own 
words, " he knew himself." Well done Chilo I 
Very wise indeed ! Seven years experience ! A very 
long time ! I who was seeking instruction, at these 
sounds, began to prick up my ears, and listen more 
attentively to this great and learned man, who, I be- 
gan to think, was somehow (unknown to" us) akin to 
the immortals ; drawing, at the same time, my chair, 
along side of a very decent looking man, who sat near 
me. 

While I was lost in admiring this eighth wise 



REFORMER. 179 

man, a speck of dust swelled into such an immense 
bulk, that my mind might as well have attempted to 
have grasped space, as his wonderful mental powers ; 
the conversation happened to turn upon the immortali- 
ty of the soul, and one of the company assuming more 
than mortal courage, contradicted the premises whick 
he had laid down. He proceeded to point out the un- 
soundness of his observations, and having finished, re- 
sumed his seat, with much pomp, at the same time 
sticking up his ears, and looking as wise as a silly face 
would let him. Upon which the learned gentleman 
sprang upon the floor, assuming various attitudes and 
grimaces, characteristic of an illumined mind, and be- 
gan his speech, by observing, " that his opponent's 
silly declamation, put him in mind of a country lawyer, 
who being engaged to defend a suit, against a very 
eminent councellor, and after having heard the said 
eminent councellor, exclaimed, Gentlemen of the Jury, 
I know you are men of no uncommon sagacity ; there- 
fore, it is needless to address you upon the point, on 
which my illiterate opponent makes so great a stand. 
You may depend upon it, gentlemen, that all he has 
uttered is not true : there was not a logical deduction 
in the whole course of his speech. Logic ! I don't be- 
lieve he knows what it means i What he has said nev- 
er entered into any man's head but' his own. His lan- 
guage is inelegant ; his — ■ his — his— I know not what 
to call it ; but every thing is bad — But I suppose, that 
you, Gentlemen of the Jury, know what I mean ; if I 
can't name the technical phrases of the law, I will 
leave it to Judge Blackstone or Lord Coke, whether I 
can distinguish sense from nonsense or not. Hav- 



130 REFORMER. 

ing confuted his ill fabricated hypothesis, Gentlemen 
of the Jury, I retire, under a full conviction, that you 
will decide against such a man, by giving the verdict 
in favour of such a man. — I have done.'* 

The company seemed panic -struck, and darted looks 
of contempt at the opponent for his audacity in con- 
tending with a man, so far superiour to half the human 
race ; then viewed the prator with silent admiration, 
nodding assent, and expressing their approbation of his 
Ciceronian eloquence, and the seeming profundity of 
his sentiments. They appeared highly pleased with 
those sounds, which to me were altogether unintelligi- 
ble. None of his arguments, during the evening, have 
ever made so deep an impression on my mind, as the 
one, wherein he contended, that the spirit of a dog, a 
cat, a hog, or a monkey, was as immortal as a man's 
soul, and I suppose, he meant, possessed of the ope- 
rations of the mind, such as recollection, reflection 
judging, &c. I draw this inference, because he gen- 
erally drew no conclusions, from which cause his deep- 
ness of penetration appeared so great to those present ; 
that is, he made use of such high sounding words, un- 
applicable to the ideas (if he had any) which he inten- 
ded to convey to the mind of the company, that they 
in reality, thought themselves deficient in understand- 
ing, and paid homage to the depth of his learning, bor- 
dering on adoration. While he was proceeding in his 
horrid detail, (happy for me) he was sent for, " to set 
ufi" with a sick person, who, in reality, was not half 
so much diseased as himself. But before he departed, 
it was essentially necessary for him to display some of 
his sufijiosed rejined ivit, which I shall here recoid, 



REFORMER. 181 

more for curiosity than for any other purpose. Indeed, 
I never before saw " such a group" together, nor ever 
witnessed more inconsistent sayings and false reason- 
ings, affected sensibility, and ostentatious breeding, 
so well suited to please a company, and pass away an 
hour of merriment, as these good people so properly 
called it. The instance of misapplied and false wit, of 
which I am to speak, is this : at first he mistook the 
landlady's daughter, for the landlady herself, which to 
be sure, was no small mortification to the accomfilished 

and beautiful Miss , at which some laughed at his 

impertinence, some from the supposed knowledge the 
Quack possessed (Quack let me call him, for there 
are such curious things in Literature, as well as in 
Medicine) and others through the fear of their becom- 
ing the objects of his sarcastic humour. He then rid- 
iculed Mr. 's abilities, to which, in truth, being 

akin to those of an idiot, he did ample justice ; for 
fools are sometimes, as apt to make and apply appro- 
priate sayings as crazy people. To sum up, he pulled 
out his snuff-box. (for it must be remembered that to 
appear wise, it has become the fashion to appear sin- 
gular) hit it two or three raps with his fingers, in a 
a manner as if a new thought had just gleamed across 
his mind, and bedaubed his nose, cheeks and eyes, so 
full, that the poor fellow imitated with more propriety 
the notes of a Pandean minstrel, than the sounds of a 
rational being. This, to be sure, made him look very 
wise and very witty. And lo ! the scene that followed ! 
What blushing and fidgetting among the girls ; (and in- 
deed this was a proper time, if ever, to show a little 
modesty, and perhaps sense) stooping and cringing, 

Q 



182 REFORMER. 

creeping forward and going backward, winking and 
nodding, so that one might have imagined that this 
mock heroic scene had been hatching since the crea- 
tion of the world. 

Here vanity assumes her pert grimace, 

And trims her robes of prize with copper-lace. 

Perceiving that the company appeared to be delight- 
ed even with this, " I began to imagine, that instead of 
desiring to see things as they should be, they were 
rather solicitous of seeing them as they ought not to 
be. A cat wijh four legs is disregarded, though ever 
so useful ; but if it have but two, and is consequently 
incapable of catching mice, it is reckoned inestimable, 
and every man of taste is ready to raise the auction. 
A man, though in his person faultless as an aerial ge- 
nius, might starve ; but if stuck over with hideous 
warts like a porcupine, his fortune is made forever, 
and he may propagate the breed with impunity and ap- 
plause." * 

The company at length being rid of such a thing 
(for I know of no name to address him by) I could not 
help observing to him who sat next to me, that he was 
the greatest oddity I had ever seen, and inquiring who he 
was. I learned that he was descended of low parent- 
age, and that, by " good fortune," he had become rich. 
Those present, yet continued to praise and admire his 
talents. For my own part, I could not help grieving 
to see human nature so degraded. Men of noble minds 
and correct opinions are shocked at seeing any of their 

* Goldsmith. 



REFORMER. 183 

fellow mortals thus bent on rendering themselves ridic- 
ulous, for the purpose of appearing singular and learn- 
ed ; or who rather, through the means of a perverted 
taste, and corrupt mind, having nothing but the outside 
to distinguish them as men, thus assiduously study to 
debase and degrade themselves. 

Wishing the company a good night's rest,. I returned 
home, being more satisfied than ever, that those sen- 
tences of Sallust, with which I headed the present es- 
say, are applicable to a much greater portion of man- 
kind than is generally apprehended. 



334 REFORMER. 

TO MENTIUS, &c* 

•' Gaudet monstris, mentisque tumultu." 

Lucan. 
He delights in what is strange or monstrous, and in all the 
tumult and confusion of the mind. 

I have, according to your polite request, made my 
appearance in the paper recommended. I am always 
ready to defend whatever principles I advance, and 
shall never shrink from an attempt to support them by 
proper arguments. You well know the contents, as 
well as the intention of my former essay. I need not, 

,* As this essay is local, it is deemed necessary, to make a 
few observations on the cause which gave it existence. It 
appears to be addressed to an individual ; but under the term 
Mentius I intend to characterize a band of men, leagued in a 
social compact to undermine the firmest pillars of a nation, 
by destroying the vital principles of religion, and who gloried 
in calumnies, which tended to injure the reputation of hon- 
ourable, worthy and enlightened men. This band consisted 
of fifteen or twenty Instructors of youth, who assembled at 
what is called a "grog shop," for the purpose of carousing, 
and contriving means by which they could most easily perpet- 
uate those crimes of which I have spoken above. Not con- 
tent with this, with a blaspheming heart, and wanton auda- 
city, they jointly edited a paper, fraught with the bitterest 
calumnies against a number of respectable citizens, and the 
most virulent invectives against the church of Christ. But 
thanks to God, it lived no longer than the triumph of auda- 
ciousness and infidelity, God in his rig-hteous Providence, 
quenched that fatal spark, which had involved Europe in war, 
and sunk her into eternal infamy and scorn. The mighty 
warriour against Christ fell — and in the agonies of death — 
when his beamless eye portrayed the despair of his mind, 
which had never excited him to fervency of prayer — uttered 
confused and stifled curses against the avenger of sin — the 
God of Heaven, the God of Mercy, at whose feet no penitent 
soul ever sued for mercy in vain. — In vain did this man per- 
ish— t&e tortures of bis mind— his dying irreverence to the 



REFORMER* 185 

therefore, enter into a particular controversy concerning 
the advantages to be derived from my communication. 
Whether the style be an imitation of the most finished 
productions in the time of Addison or Goldsmith, is 

Lord of Hosts, had no effects upon the mind of those who 
surrounded his bed and watched the guilty spirit till it flew. 
They must wait till a more awful moment— that moment soon 
arrived. Another of those frail mortals, who dared to ar- 
raign the power of the Most High, Scoff and mock at his de- 
nunciations against the violators of his laws and his just dis- 
pensations — fell a victim to his wrath. This man, at his final 
hour, died in agony, which wrung a few tears from his the- 
omachan compeers. His death in part dissolved the union, 
their principal leaders having passed into another world, 
where all is happiness or where all is torment. Since the 
idle business of their life is over, I will not speak of them in 
terms which may bring to the recollection of their friends their 
conduct in this narrow and imperfect state of existence. But 
to the others, who live but to calumniate and injure man, and 
all those who are allied to them in their conduct or sentiments, 
I address this essay, leaving it to the world to see what vile 
wretches exist, wretches who pretend to instruct our youth 
properly, by inftising into their pliant minds such principles as 
would assist them to avoid the same destruction which is in- 
evitable to all those who perish in the plenitude of their guilt. 
The Thersites of the ancient Greeks, extremely character- 
istic of this band, is thus described by Mr. Pope ; and may 
be applied to it with some little alteration. 

I wish not to injure the character of enemies when dead, 
and therefore bid them an eternal farewell. I prefer the 
Athenian to the Egyptian custom. The former allowed no 
tongue to utter truths which would derogate from the reputation 
of the deceased ; the latter rigorously judged his character, 
and if known to have been base and vile, was refused the 
rites of burial. 

" Thersites only clamour'd in the throng, 
Loquacious, loud and turbulent of tongue 
Avv'd by no shame, by no respect controul'd, 
In scandal busy, in reproaches bold ; 
With witty malice studious to defame ; 
Scorn all his joy, and laughter all his aim ; 
Spleen to mankind his envious heart possess'd, 
And much he hated all, but most the best." 

Uo?ner , s Iliad, _B. 2* 

Q 2 



186 REFORMER. 

another consideration ; the manner is deemed secon- 
dary with me. It is the energy and correctness of the 
sentiments, which attract public attention, and demand 
admiration and applause. We do not consult style on 
every occasion, nor consider it as the basis of solid 
improvement. We require the effusions of a sound 
understanding, which are alone sufficient to recom- 
pense readers, for deficiencies in the choice of lan- 
guage, elegance of figures, metaphorical allusions and 
smooth periods. But these have altogether, as well 
as correct principles, been little attended to by you, 
and the opinions of a malignant heart, dressed in a 
most fantastic garb, usurp their place. They appear 
to be the dreams of a distempered imagination, or the 
effusions of one racked by madness, under the influ- 
ence of irritation and malevolence. " If you are not of 
the kind of these ranting and foaming bedlamites, you 
and your co-adjutors prove yourselves to be either of 
the race of men, whose heads do grow beneath their 
shoulders, or of the number of those unfortunate per- 
sons, whose brain is shaken out of its natural position." 
With respect to the sentiments which I have ad- 
vanced, I have constituted the public my judge. If 
they be unjust, let them perish. Let them follow the 
illiberal invective and scurrility of Mentins, and his 
bacchanalian compeers, to the grave. I do not wish 
them to live, if they be productive of evil ; the regions of 
oblivion are the proper receptacle for all injurious pub- 
lications. But I believe that no man of common under- 
standing, possessed of a virtuous education and clear 
conscience, will contradict the assertion, that a private 
theatre often proves a convenient chapel of ease to 



REFORMER. 187 

Hymen. They who do not think my #eflections just, 
will finally discover the natural and inevitable conse- 
quence of boys and girls making love to one another 
upon a public or private stage, particularly in a pri- 
vate theatre. If it terminate in a runaway marriage, 
the patrons of this kind of modern education, must 
neither be surprised nor offended. If it end in an in- 
trigue ; if the girls be seduced, and the boys enter in- 
to life with the manners and morals of stage-players, 
the parents have only, in either of these cases, to con- 
demn themselves for their folly and inconsistency. 

These are the sentiments, which I have laid before 
the public, and these are they, which you call ridic- 
ulous, and " productive of evil" With justice and 
truth, therefore, I may assert, that the apparent con- 
futation of them (if I ma}^ so call it) has proved at 
once the weakness of your understanding and the 
blackness of your heart. Nor do I intend, Sir, to re- 
linquish them ; though you, or any other men of your 
character, may use your utmost exertions in the vain 
attempt of vindicating a practice so very detrimental 
to the harmony and welfare of society, so opposite to 
every feeling of humanity, and though you may be de- 
sirous of laying a foundation, upon which, if you could 
succeed in raising a fabric, it would be subversive of 
all morality, religion and virtue. I am not to be ter- 
rified by the demoniac, ill-natured sarcasms of those, 
who are utterly strangers to the observing of Christ's 
holy laws : nor am I to surrender my liberties, when 
they are invaded by an immoral and insolent foe ; but 
to use every means which God and nature have put 
into my power, to expel deistical principles, and un= 



188 REFORMER. 

logical deductions, and establish in their place, senti- 
ments and opinions, which have stood the test of time, 
of criticism, infidelity and satire. Falsehood may mis- 
represent them ; but they are still intrinsically the 
same. Religion, by her enemies, has been long mis- 
represented and made a tool of malicious and fanatic 
influence ; but her true nature is still the same, and 
will continue the same, pure and immaculate, not only 
when the works of- such men as you shall be forgotten, 
but even when the most stupendous works of art and 
nature shall be annihilated, when the elements shall 
melt with fervent heat, and when, to close the awful 
scene, the last signal trump shall arouse the sleeping- 
world from their long dark slumber. Mentius, what 
will then become of you ? I sincerely wish, that by a 
well timed repentance and amendment of life, you may 
yet be enabled, through the merits and mediation of 
our blessed Redeemer, to avoid that dreadful sentence, 
which, at that awful period, will be pronounced against 
those, who shall have died finally impenitent and un- 
converted — " Depart from me ye workers of iniquity 
into everlasting punishment prepared for you before 
the foundation of the world." 

You are found to have done evil. Sophocles. 

Hot headed champions like you, Sir, are ever ready 
to engage in any cause, subversive of good govern- 
ment and religion ; because they restrain you and oth- 
er votaries of Bacchus in some degree, from execu- 
ting your infamous designs ; a violation of which the 
jurisprudence of our country would punish with a fate 
correspondent to the crime. I know you well, but 



REFORMER. 189 

for the sake of posterity, a veil shall be drawn over 
your names. I should be touched with commiseration, 
did I believe, that unborn ages would hear of the 
malign war which you wage against the church of 
Christ and his disciples. 

But Mentius, let me caution you and your compan- 
ions in sin, to take care how you persevere in your 
high-handed career of wickedness and impiety ; for 
be ye assured, that unless you can arrest the progress 
of time, hurl the Most High from his throne, drive 
religion out of this world ; procure the union of all 
men in one cursed asseveration against the Father and 
Son, and also in one general denial of the existence 
of heaven and hell ; those who die finally impenitent, 
will in vain, think of escaping the fierce indignation 
of the Almighty. And be ye assured, that " it is a 
terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God," 
a God, who though merciful to the regenerate, will in- 
fallibly punish those, who continue to the end, in the 
determined violation of all laws both human and divine. 
I would likewise admonish you, that though, by your 
art and cunning, you may elude being brought before 
an earthly tribunal for the crimes, which you may 
have committed against your fellow-men, by which 
means, you may not receive the punishment, which is 
justly due to you in this world; yet, Sir, let me tell 
you, that you will at last have to appear before an all 
seeing judge^ " who will reward or punish every man 
according to his works." This is a judge, whom no 
man can possibly deceive, as he not only knows all 
our words and actions, but even the very thoughts of 
*ur hearts. These are most serious reflections, and 



190 REFORMER. 

I wish that they may meet that consideration, which 
their importance requires. 

But it is not because you have misrepresented or 
styled my arguments absurd or trivial, that I have 
come forward to vindicate them. They want no vin- 
dication. They speak for themselves. But it is be- 
cause you have propagated atheistical doctrines, and 
endeavoured to shake the principles of our youth, and 
sever them from the cause of Christ, and social so- 
ciety. It is because you have persecuted an innocent 
man, both in public prints and private conversation, 
vilified his learning, and imputed to "him the worst of 
motives. Calumny stalks at large in your converse, 
and blasts the character of your friend. Not satisfied 
with this, it arraigns his wife and children at its inW 
hallowed tribunal, and wounds parental and filial affec- 
tion. It emits its pestilential breath, and the fairest 
flower soon droops and dies. Though the laws assume 
in some points, the guardianship of a man's reputa- 
tion ; yet they cannot shield a man's feelings. They 
are a natural gift, and the power of law has no control 
over them. Few things are more worthy of preserv- 
ing than personal reputation. This, Sir, you have 
endeavoured to asperse, and wrong the man, who has 
to you proved himself a father. It is characteristic | 
of you, however, as filial ingratitude still adheres to 
you with all its natural malignity.— -Though the eflfu- | 
sions which occupy your essay, are from the pens of 
the most infamous, abandoned and despicable of man- 
kind, yet they are never without the power of ill con- 
sequences. They will add weight to hostile animad- i 
versions, weaken the confidence of his friends, and 



REFORMER. j[Q^ 

darken the lustre which shrouds his character. They 
are the offspring of a heart laden with iniquity, ready 
to disgorge itself upon the virtuous and learned. You 
have by them acknowledged your depravity, though con- 
trary to your intentions ; and invented slander, which 
you intended should ruin an honest man,, but have 
brought the murky storm, which has long been gath- 
ering, on your own heads, exposed your dishonest arts 
and malignant intentions, and cited yourselves before 
the unerring judgment of your country, which demands 
you to be made a public sacrifice. She would lose 
nothing, but gain much. It would be an example to 
your proselytes. And if the hour has not arrived, it 
soon will, when your disingenuous, designing and ca- 
lumniating soul shall be arraigned before the tribunal 
of your native realms, and suffer a punishment worthy 
of the accumulated crimes, preserved without the hazard 
of diminution in your iniquitous breast. You then 
will have no asylum, to which you may fly to shelter 
you from the vengeance of a justly incensed public 
and God ; no refuge where your enormities may plead 
the place of virtues ; no place, which will not reproach 
you with the want of religion and moral obligation ; no 
place, which will not seem a hell to you. You may then 
pertinently exclaim in the touching accents of Satan 5 

f< Me miserable,which way shall I fly, 

From infinite wrath and infinite despair ? 
Which way I fly is hell. Myself am hell, 
And in the lowest depth, a lower deep, 
Still threatening 1 to devour me opens wide, 
To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven." 

Milton. 



192 REFORMER. 

I have a right to retort the language, which you 
have thought it expedient to use. The contemptuous 
and virulent sentiments which you have deemed prop- 
er to adopt, while they cannot degrade you in the pub- 
lic estimation, I hope, may never affect the object of 
your unjust and unprovoked abuse, nor the guardians of 
youth , though it may, for a moment, wound their 
feelings; for you must consider, if you never have 
heretofore, that all do not possess the same cynical 
nature with yourself. Their grief then will not arise 
from the opinions,* which such poor wretches as you 
entertain concerning them ; but from seeing you act 
so incompatibly with the dignity of human nature, and 
debase yourselves to a state as low and degrading as 
that ever occupied by the meanest and most worthless 
men, who either at the present or any former period, 
have disgraced society. 

Were you therefore to insinuate, Messrs. Mentius, 
and Co. that I expect to enhance my reputation by an- 
swering the scurrilous invectives, which blacken ev- 
ery line of your silly essay, it would be an imposition 
on the dullest understanding. It would be the prime 
cause of its non-existence, and your vile names would 
blast the present hopes entertained ; the bubble would 
vanish like a meteor in a storm, and they would encum- 
ber it, as it floats on the silent current of time. Neither 
will I compare your virtues to the man's greatest foi- 
bles, whom you have abused, " for his failings lean 
to virtue's side." But should I, Mentius, &c. apply 

* Opinions or sentiments of any kind, however injurious, 
if contained in the proprietor's breast alone, cannot injure any 
but himself. 



REFORMER. 193 

the name of virtue to you, the prostitution of her char- 
acter, would be a reproach t© my reputation to the la- 
test posterity. She would wither at the thought. It 
would be tarnishing her name without cause, without 
provocation. 

If you are dissatisfied with this delineation of your- 
self and your fit associates, appeal to the public for 
their opinion and support, They will soon determine, 
and justly too. But your reference must be made to 
those stampt after the image of yourselves. You will 
among them obtain a willing audience. You there 
may look for a sort of protection. But do not appeal 
for your own, as well as others' sakes, to men of hon- 
our and sincerity ; for their names offered by your pol- 
luted hands at the temple of virtue would be rejected 
with scorn from the un worthiness of the donors, 

" Jamne vides, bellua, jamne sends, quae sit hominum 
querula frontis tuse ?" * Cicero. 

Though the whole of your essay has no demands 
upon common sense ; yet such as it is, I will give my 
opinion of it, without reserve or disguise. I will how- 
ever remark, that you may not be disappointed, as to 
the claims your composition has upon the public, that 
what Cicero observes of Hegesias the IVIagneeian, in 
his Orator, may be very justly applied to men of your 
class. " He is faulty," says he, « no less in his 
thoughts^ than his expressions^ so that no one, who 
has any knowledge of him, need ever be at a loss for 
a man to call impertinent." 

* Dost thou not see, blockhead, dost thou not now perceive 
what complaints are made of thy impudence ? 

R 



194 REFORMER. 

As the practice of attempting to criticise has become 
very fashionable of late, I am by no means, surprised 
to find such superficial men as you among the number. 
If you had ever given any certificate of four philological 
abilities worthy of notice, you might expect a little pal- 
liation for your compound of absurdities ; though your 
motives would be universally condemned. It immediate- 
ly appears, upon a. perusal of your communication, that 
you and your impartial brothers, were instigated, not 
by any laudable intention ; but by personal animosity 
and envy. Your animadversions are aimed at a man's 
superiour literary attainments ; it is the cause of all 
your scurrility and abuse. You, therefore, must be 
depraved, indeed, who would banish from your breasts 
every sentiment of honour, every feeling of humanity, 
to humiliate him on account of his eminent standing in 
society. Had you been spurred on with the desire of 
accomplishing a commendable reformation in any par- 
ticular follies or vices, the silly wit, which pervades 
your despicable compilation (it may be justly called so, 
as I shall directly show) would have had the merit of 
good intention. This may be done in order to produce 
good effects. But, Mentius, blush for your deformities 
of mind. — Yet I know that there are many, who will co- 
incide with you in your censure, and captiously object 
to all I have said. Captious ignorance however will 
object to every thing, which is praise-worthy. Those 
men, who are opposed to the dissemination of pure 
doctrine and solid improvement, owe their prejudices 
and false notions to such preposterous methods, as yon 
have recommended. Allured by the gaudy shows of 
fantastic and superficial knowledge, they have made 



REFORMER. 195 

no sound proficiency. Among the whole host of your 
acquaintance, you will find none possessed of any of 
the requisites of a scholar and gentleman, who does 
not despise your sentiments upon such an important 
subject; if not, I who am not single in the opinion, 
would not hesitate to rank him with that, wittiless class 
of men, who„ condemn what they do not understand. 

" DamnanV quod non intelligunt." 

You, admirable critic, after lavishing your termsr of 
reproach with a very liberal hand, commence with this 
wonderful assertion, and continue your remarks some- 
what similar, throughout your supereminent perform- 
ance. Thus say you, " there are many things in my 
adversary's essay, entirely ludicrous and impertinent.'* 
Of the acute observations, of you second Longinuses, we 
have one of your best specimens. Now, here I would! 
observe, that I never published any essay whatever, 
previous to the one, under your critical pens, nor have 
I alluded to any particular person or persons. " It 
must, therefore, of necessity require much invention, 
or perversion of mind, to prove that one man can be 
an adversary to another, who is equally ignorant of his 
person and writings." I never thought of you, com- 
ical heroes, and as to adversaries, I have indeed, found 
you a very wittiless and harmless sort of animals. 

It would have been happy for you, all-learned wri- 
ters, had you let your criticism stop here, "you would 
have saved yourselves and friends much additional 
contempt." " You say, with some christian self-com- 
placency, have you (I will stake the whole cause 
upon this issue) invariably done unto others, as you 



196 REFORMED. 

wish that others should do unto you ?" I will here 
again remark, that the greater part of your observa- 
tions have been extracted from a defence of the Pur- 
suits of Literature, a highly estimable satirical Poem, 
but with this additional and sufieriour emendation, that in 
your plagiarism, you have proved yourselves totally ig- 
norant of grammatical construction. And as you have 
thought fit to take such passages from this work, after 
such alterations as you deemed, would, in your opinion, 
render them subservient to your base designs, I hope, I 
shall be allowed the same privilege of continuing the 
P. of L's remarks, as they answer my purposes ex- 
tremely well. In reply, then, to the present plagiar- 
ized sentence, I say, " that whoever feels the infirmity 
of- human nature, has already answered the question 
and borne testimony to the folly of the man, who has 
been weak enough to propose it. But the intention of 
the o^iestion, and the region to which you would fain 
consign me, are easy to conjecture. You remind me 
of the Night-walker, or little thief, in the comedy of 
Beaumont and Fletcher, who has his nurse, servants, 
l-cll-ringers, and sexton all ready for his interment. 
Nay you seem willing to follow me to the w r orld un- 
known, and even to anticipate my sentence." 

" Still there is always something unfortunate in the 
imitations of inferiour writers. Indeed, they seldom 
discover the proper object of imitation. Sir William 
Draper was an ingenious man, and a good scholar ; but 
imprudent in his conduct. He had zeal without knowl- 
edge, and boldness without discretion. He volunta- 
rily attacked Junius, " whose shoe's latchet you my ad- 
versaries declare, I am not worthy to unloose." That 



&EFORMEB.. 197 

is, you mean yourselves, not Junius, Here it seems 
you have another peep at the P. of L. but have not 
acknowledged it. " But the wanton and impious lev- 
ity of the allusion, I leave you to reconcile with deco- 
rum. You are here unhappy rivals of Sir William, 
in putting- questions from the Scriptures. I shall say 
with Junius, " Such a question, Sir, may perhaps dis- 
compose the gravity of my muscles ; but I believe it 
will little affect the tranquillity of my conscience." 

It would be a Herculean task for me to analyze your 
farcical composition, produced by your conjoined la- 
bours. I will, therefore, make a few observations, up- 
on the motives which gave rise to it. As to the senti- 
ments themselves, which I have advanced, you (won- 
derful philologists) merely assert that they are triviaL 
Such a reply needs no refutation; it carries on its face 
its own condemnation. It is a piece of criticism (if I 
inay-so call it) that puzzles me as much to form a con- 
ception of, as the incongruous combination which Lord 
Bolingbroke calls a mixture of theism and atheism ; a 
co-operation of God and chance. You farther observe, 
that " you have not investigated the subject, and (a lo- 
gical deduction for once) consequently, are inadequate 
-to judge concerning it." I agree in opinion. Now 
what addle-headed fellows you must be, to undertake 
the refutation of any principles, without having first 
duly investigated them. It is a very common way of 
pacifying the ignorant part of the populace. It is also 
a common mode with the votaries of atheism to answer 
passages of the Holy Scriptures. This very just re? 
mark of yours implies one of these two things, First, 
R 2 



19S REFORMER. 

that you were incapable of giving a just reply (which, 
indeed, appears to be the case) or second, that the 
sentiments were so palpable, so self-evident, that you 
were conscious they could not be confuted, and that 
personal abuse was the only instrument which could, in 
the least, affect them in the eyes of the public. Now, 
Sir, what motive induced you to attempt to vindicate • 
a practice, which has prevailed among none, but the 
most illiterate, or amongst those, whose folly and ina- 
bility, in arrogating to themselves the highly respon- 
sible office of rigid education, have been the cause of 
their inveighing against those pure opinions which ev- 
ery christian and enlightened person will support ? If 
you did not wish to confute principles, what other cause 
is, left to assign except an inveterate hatred. Your 
Philipic assertions will, therefore, have little weight 
upon charitable minds. If you cannot prove my opin- 
ions erroneous, why have you written ? and if princi- 
ples be not proved, what remains but a play upon 
words, or perhaps, as you mighty scribblers in prose 
are pleased to term it, wit. Surely, therefore, such 
opinions as yours, and none but such, would come from 
the pens of any men, unless they had been stewed in 
corruption, and were endeavouring to purge them- 
selves of such base notions,at the expence of other men's 
moral and literary reputations. You have attempted to 
ridicule truth, and thereby rendered yourself contempti- 
ble. God himself may be ridiculed. But who are they 
who would dare do it ? None but Mentius and his 

BAND OF CO-ADJUTORS. 

My remarks were not aimed at any particular per- 
son, but at the man, who would make fool enough of 



REFORMER, 199 

himself, in undertaking to inculcate that which cannot 
be taught, or in other words, by attempting to supply 
the defects of nature» 

I should here like to make one inquiry. Since so 
much cockney wit pervades the whole of your com- 
munication, I should like to know, under whose sa- 
gacious tuition you learned it Was it under that of 
Johnny Minshull, who has gone to Europe to diffuse 
his classic lore, because learning was not patronized 
by the American community ? If so, since you enter- 
tain a notion of becoming the rival of that matchless 
genius, I beg you will seek that literary shore also s 
to preserve your flights of wit, and leave something 
to posterity to manifest the powers of your boundless 
imagination ; for they cannot live among your " fel= 

LOW TEACHERS HERE." 

As to the pertinacity of your remarks, no one can 
now remain in doubt of your Bavian mental powers, 
nor will any doubt of your intentions. You (in a word) 
have totally left the subject under consideration. Like 
the snarling cur you have attempted to fix your ma- 
lignant fangs in the heart of a man, who is wholly ig- 
norant of my communication. No one but the writer 
knows it. Your baleful eyes have singled him out, 
and malice with its hydra tongue inflicted a wound 
which ought to rankle in your insatiated bosoms, till 
the grave claims its victims. 

When two dogs are fighting in the streets, 
With a third dog, one of the dogs meets, * 
With angry tooth he bites him to the bone, 
And this dog' smarts, for what that dog has done. 



200 REFORMED. 

It is evident from the abusive language which you 
have used, that you have been stung by the truth of 
the sentiments, and finding no way to disprove them, 
you have, like all weak and malicious men, endeavoured 
to ridicule that, which you cannot confute. The mot- 
to, " that ridicule is the test of truth" has failed here. 
It may answer in some cases, but handled by you it 
would defeat its purposes. Your folly and invective 
may tickle the ears of the vulgar and illiberal ; but 
cannot be overlooked by the virtuous and learned. — 
Had you employed what little you know, upon any thing, 
except vindicating the practice of acting obscene 
plays at school, with the non-appearance of malig- 
nant intentions, I should have considered your attempts 
both pardonable and praise-worthy. The low ribaldry 
which pervades your Maevian composition, if nothing 
else were added, is sufficient to explain your motives. 
The free and indiscriminate use of low epithets, so 
utterly inconsistent with decorum, which characterize 
your sufieriour intellectual and moral refinement, mark 
your fertile minds, and your collected scraps show you 
to be men of as much taste as judgment. 

a To conceive that such men as you can confer praise 
on any man, is an insult to any understanding. The pub- 
lic do not expect to discover what is eloquent and spir- 
ited from such wooden oracles* The state will ac- 
knowledge their best friends, and literature its best 
defenders, without your assistance or direction. Such 
men (as you) have neither part nor lot in the region 
of the learned. In the temple of immortality, your 
voice cannot be heard. Even the names you would 



HEFORMEH. ^01 

fain present to the guardians of that temple, would be 
rejected from the unworthiness of the votaries." 

As to the flimsy stuff, which pervades the sixth par- 
agraph, concerning the state of an infant's mind at its 
birth, I shall not give a more satisfactory answer than 
this: as you are philosophers, that is, pseudo phi- 
losophers, I advise you to read Lock, Stewart, Reid, 
Berkly, Shrew, Condillac, &c> you will there find, what 
1 have advanced is supported by the most consummate 
philosophical writers, 

And now, you composition of Bavius and Msevius,* 
as one good turn deserves another, I would advise, in 
the place of drowning such harmless things as puppies 
(this indeed is very applicable to the subject of acting 
plays at school) that you crawl to your bed-chambers, 
and ponder over the subject of which you acknowledge 
yourselves ignorant, so that you may hereafter be ca- 
pable, either to justify or confute my sentiments ; till 
which time, oh, ye tinsel writers ! I bid you adieu, 

Semel causam dixi (vel iterum dicturus) quo semper agere 
solitus sum, accusatorio spihitu. Livy. 

" I have once spoken in this great cause (prepared to re- 
peat my words, if required) with that spirit which I am ever 
wont to assume, the spirit of an accuser." 

N. B... .Notwithstanding considerable attention has 
been bestowed in correcting the typographical, &c. 
errours, yet several have escaped the author's notice, 
which he intends (Deo volente) to amend in the 
next edition. 

* Two stupid and malevolent poets in the age of Augustus, 
who attacked the superiour talents of the cotemporary wri=> 
terg, Virgil. 

FINIS, 



CONTENTS. 



Page 

Preface, - 3 

Introduction, - - - - - - 13 

Remarks on Education, Parents, Instructors, &c. 

Chapter 1, ... 25 

Chapter 2, . _ - - 35 

Chapter 3, 43 

Chapter 4, 58 

Chapter -5, .. - . 65 

Chapter 6, 75 

Chapter 7, - - - _ 81 
On the evil tendency of theatrical exhibitions 

at school, - 84 

On the study of the Latin and Greek Languages, 106 

On Female Education, - - - - 123 

On Scholastic Examinations, - - 133 

On recommending men as Teachers, - - 141 

The history of a Quack Pedagogue, - - 149 

Exhibition of a Tragedy by Scholars, - - 161 

The wonderful Orator and Logician, - • 173 

To Mentius, Sec. ----- 184 



Library of Congress 
Branch Bindery, 1902 



